Double lives of visa journey petitioners ( what we dont really want to post)

[Staashi 371]

It is a shame that people in these relationships eventually stop coming. It would be interesting to have a poll set up that would ask questions for those that have completed their immigration process, such as:

1: Did you at some time doubt your relationship

2: Did you post your situation here on VJ, and did anyone suggest your marriage was fraud.

3: Does your husband still treat you the same since he has his 10 yr GC

4: Did he leave shortly after getting the 10 yr GC.

5: If yes, did he petition a woman from his country and bring her here.

That would at least be a more accurate test, not assumptions before hand.

One thing on Kat's post that has me curious. Are there really women here who are putting up with more ####### with their MENA husband than they would with an American husband? That just seems odd to me.

M4E, I'll answer your poll since my hubby now has citizenship.

1: Did you at some time doubt your relationship - No, not really. We have had our issues but that goes for all married couples.

2: Did you post your situation here on VJ, and did anyone suggest your marriage was fraud. No, never.

3: Does your husband still treat you the same since he has his 10 yr GC. Well, with citizenship he treats me exactly the same as he did with his 10-year.

4: Did he leave shortly after getting the 10 yr GC. - Nope, he received his 10-year last December and citizenship in July and we're still going strong.

5: If yes, did he petition a woman from his country and bring her here.

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

[livelong_prosper 0]

Hey that's cool! I will have to fit that into my day after work, cooking dinner, raking leaves, washing laundry....oh who am I fooling!

[xtinab 0]

Thats all I have to contribute

[Nothing1234 2]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

Charles, hurry grab coffee. She packs a powerful punch!

[livelong_prosper 0]

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

Charles, hurry grab coffee. She packs a powerful punch!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have no issues with the first 2 of the poll. The 3rd is a definite no. I think we who have made it through the whole process or are very near the end, are doing a great disservice to anyone who follows if we tell them it's nothing buy sunshine and rainbows. I know when I have stated issues out loud, I have had people thank me for letting them know they aren't alone.

It seems that after I post, I sometimes regret posting things

I dont know if it benefits other people when they see what other people are going through but it puts things in perspective for me.

Am I in a greencard fraud marriage? I don't think so. Are there things that are fundamentally wrong with the way that I entered into the relationship and was I doormatting myself from the very beginning refusing to take advice? Yes.

I don't know if my husband and I will make it honestly. But it wont be with him here in the USA getting papers and moving on without me. My problem is that my husband fundamentally thought life here would be alot easier. He wasnt prepared to live so far apart from neighbors. He wasnt prepared to miss his family so much and couldnt adapt to the food. He wasnt kind to me when I was pregnant and wasnt kind in the least after the baby was born. So him taking off after the baby died is no real shock. I am left with tons of bills wishing I never met him, wishing I was never pregnant and all kinds of regrets. Switching from being ok one minute and then 2 hours of silence later, I burst into tears. I am managing with my other kids. I am deeply sad but I am trying to hold it together for my kids

I for one think there is nothing wrong with us talking about whats going on good and BAD so we help each other through tough times... Many on here DO NOT FEEL THE SAME WAY and I guess thats the way they deal with things..

I dont ever see the American women I used to know who got hurt by their immigrant spouses here in town. They go back with Americans usually and write their marriage off as a bad memory. They usually dont talk about it. The ones with kids still talk to me and know me. My very best friend has a baby with a Tunisian and he literally camps on her doorstep to see the baby 3 times a week. He told everyone he never loved her but he loves his baby so in another way she is tortured having to be tied to someone who never loved her who now stalks her because they have a kid together.

I love my husband. If love is a crime, I am guilty. Do I have a lick of common sense? Hell no

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

your join date is after mine.

do you feel lucky?

Edited November 25, 2008 by charles!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

your join date is after mine.

do you feel lucky?

Go head, make my day, punk..... :devil:

[♥JP♥ 5]

Kat I think one of the reasons why people get irritated at your thread is because for at least a year you WENT OFF whenever anyone dared to even whisper that things werent perfect in their homes - surely you can go back yourself and pull up some of the old threads full of your rants that no one had a right to complain if their husbands were already here. Now the pendulum swings the other way and you do a 180 on a public message board? no one's memory is that short.

EVERYONE here is sorry for what you have gone through in the last months and honestly I saw acts of kindness from this group towards you that sometimes reaffirmed my belief in the goodness of my fellow humans. But the pain and possible failure of your marriage is YOUR story, not everyone else's. SO leave it at that and continue healing yourself (you DO sound much better lately...)

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

Lisa

So true...and everyone keeps feeding into it. Just stop responding people!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

This topic should have been titled "Misery Loves Company".

You took the thought right out of my head!

Im am so sick and tired of reading over and over and OVER again about this. But, when I respond directly to wah..its like talking to a wall. (sorry but it is)

Wah said that some people are afraid to post becasue they get jumped on...by who? Wah, you are the MAIN and sometimes only culprit on threads where people are just venting.

and now you will post about how my situation is different because im young and its "easier" for him to love me. and btw, in a year that went from.. "your situation is different you guys have a love story", to "your situation is different", to "your young so its easier".

ok sorry I had to say that I guess.

Lisa

Hey Lisa,

I will give you an example. When one girl got married in Tunisia, she had no problems. It didnt cost her extraordinary money and was an easy process, right?

When I got married there every single person working with us demanded bribes and what should have cost us like 50 dollars ending up costing 600 dollars just to get married paperwork wise. Lightening strikes different places..

I also have befriended the most amazing Moroccan woman who has a child 6 months older than my daughter ( who is arabic as well) she is learning arabic, arabic cooking and bought a house 2 miles away and they play together. I have nothing against all mena people. One of my very best friends is Moroccan and she doesnt need a greencard from me or anything from me. She just likes me. She thinks I am a little HAMAKA but she knows I have a good heart.

Each one of us has a different set of circumstances. You are tired of reading my posts cause it is not happening to YOU.

But unfortunately since I have been here its happened to over 10 women on this forum and presently some on here are living in roomate situations, posting as if they are still with their husbands and god knows what.

I know you are sick of reading my posts but frankly Id rather tell the truth about whats happening and hear truthful opinions. I may have to wade through people who dont like me like you and some others but there are others on here going through similar things and if I am HONEST about whats going on, we can talk together.

And no not everyone has a bad situation but if we all just post bunnies and rainbows and we arent honest with the others on the forum, why are we posting to begin with? I would hope that we would try to help each other by posting the good and the bad and being open

If this is just a place to post happy things, let me fall in line. Ill post rainbows and cat threads.

I have too many real friends on here to refrain from being emotionally honest with them

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

You felt that too? Tick, tock...

i'm glad someone got it.

grab a coffee and stfu, noob

your join date is after mine.

do you feel lucky?

Go head, make my day, punk..... :devil: