Why I Live in the Philippines?

[todNasmeen 0]

WHY I LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES?

Why I live in the Philippines - funny but true!!!

When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines ? Well here it is ..... It is the only place on earth where......

1. Every street has a basketball court.

2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.

3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.

4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.

5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.

6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.

7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.

8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.

9. Everything can be forged.

10. All kinds of animals are edible.

11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.

12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.

13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.

14 . Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.

15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.

16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!

17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.

18. People can pay to defy the law.

19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.

20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!

21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.

22. Being called a bum is never offensive.

23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.

24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.

25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.

26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)

27. Where insurance does not work.

28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.

29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).

30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)

31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.

32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.

33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.

34.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;

35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.

36. Fast food is a diet meal.

37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.

39. Rodents are normal house pets.

40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.

41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;

42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.

43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.

44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.

45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.

46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.

47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)

48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) - than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.

49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!

FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.

2. Anita Bakery

3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night

4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;

5. A bakery named Bread Pitt

6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.

7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing

8. A boutique called The Way We Wear

9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental

10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken

11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's

12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts

13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll

14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis. Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:

15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu ? We hab sopdrink in can an in batol? [translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].

16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises - [translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces] There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......

17. In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the Philippines : ? Wanted: Boy Waitress?

18. On a highway in Pampanga: ?We Make Modern Antique Furniture?

19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : ?We Shoot You While You Wait?

20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila : ?Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier?.

Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:

21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: ?We Sell Imported Robber Shoes? (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);

22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: ?House For Rent, Fully Furnaced? (it must really be hot inside)!

23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines which said: ? Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50 centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation? .

24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia - which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!

25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient.? The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign ..... House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two will do?

26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because? We are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive?. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.

Now, I ask you, where else in the world would one want to live? :dance: :dance: :dance:

Edited November 22, 2008 by todNasmeen

[chris-lei 1]

Very funny but I must say so true!

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

WHY I LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES?

Why I live in the Philippines - funny but true!!!

When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines ? Well here it is ..... It is the only place on earth where......

37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.

Now, I ask you, where else in the world would one want to live? :dance: :dance: :dance:

My husband said went we first touched, "It's like organized chaos!"

[DanielParul 50]

That was hilarious and it reminded me of India...

I have a classic from India that you would see on every phone booth

STD - State trunk Dialing (long distance calling) and not as the rest of the world knows it (sexually transmitted diseases)

They are even called STD Booths

Edited November 24, 2008 by DanielParul

[KC♥MP 0]

:rofl:

[sj5 4]

hilarious.

[sunandmoon 450]

this list may have been posted before...

you might be Filipino if...

you have a "barrel man" in your house, you may be filipino...(you know..the wooden man...when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!)

you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino.

you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino.

you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino.

you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino.

you smoke in your house

you put up your knee while eating

you eat kanin and ulam using your hand

you are pakialamero

you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador

you are chismosa

you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom.

you say For Take Out instead of to go.

you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino.

you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino.

you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino.

your nickname is "boy", you might be a Filipino.

you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino.

you say "Canteen" instead of cafeteria, then you must be filipino

you eat under-developed duck eggs.

you call it a "ballpoint" or"ballpen" , not a "pen"

you pronounce the word ALREADY as OLREYDI.

you say, Kodakan, instead of take pictures.

you do "mano po" to older people in the house you're about to enter.

you refer to to your refrigerator as "pridyider"

your grandma smiles and her teeth are all red because of "nga-nga"

you say "pliers" when you meant "fliers"

you say "######" when you meant "beach"

you pronounce "hippopatamus" and "comfortable" in a funny way

you say "Boose" for "bus"

you cover your sofa with bright red and green blankets

you have a Last Supper quilt tacked on your dining wall

your "walking doll" is still new even though it was bought years ago because your mom kept it in the china cabinet and never let you play with it.

you drive a Mercedes-Benz with maroon seat covers

you hang a rosary on the rear view mirror of your car.

you have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room.

you buy the karaoke system first before the stereo and TV

you have an out of tune piano and nobody in the family ever learned to play.

you know what "chocolate meat" is

you say chok-o-late.

you have a "Weapons of Morroland" shield.

you didn't hear or understand something and your first expression is "HA?".

you're standing next to big boxes at the airport.

you say 'hoy' to get someone's attention.

you like peanut butter with chocolate.

you make para on a bus.

your car churps like a bird when it's in reverse.

you turn around when you hear somebody say "psssst."

you instinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.

you order the langunisa meal on a PAL Balikbayan flight.

you laugh seeing somebody slip.

you burp when you're busog (or after sipping a beer)

you call somebody "psssst."

you smile/grin a lot even for no reason,

you sit by squating down and leaning your elbows on your knees.

you use a Bolo to cut the grass in the yard.

you refer to keorosene as "white gas."

there are pairs of flip-flops outside your door

you have power failures every day at the same time that you can set your watch to.

your biggest frying pan is shaped like a wok.

you own both a rice cooker, and an air pot.

you refer to "Accent" and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"

you go to a department store, and try to bargain the price.

you drink with your friends and share the same glass, and pass it around.

you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale.

you say kutex instead of nail polish, you are one too.

you are stumped when asked what kind of bread in a deli.

you're the plane passenger with the largest hand-carry luggage.

you scratch your head when you don't know what you're doing.

you don't want to eat the last piece of food on the plate, but offer it to others.

you say "she" when you should say "he"

you say "ano" this and "ano" that

you put your hands together and point them in the direction you are walking to pass between other people

you say that everybody is your cousin/niece/nephew/aunt/uncle/...

you have a big Buddha at home for good luck( not the serene Buddha like what the Thais have, but the big, fat, laughing one with those pesky little kids crawling all over him).

you bring a "baon" to work everyday, you're probably a Filipino.

your ice cold beer really has ice cubes in it.

you eat balut and wash it down with beer to bulk up.

you have a parol hanging outside your house during the Christmas holidays.

you say things sorta backwards like towelpaper instead of papertowel and stick bread instead of breadsticks.

you say guper instead of gopher.

you eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

you say "aray" instead of "ouch ".

you look up and say "ha!" when somebody says "what's up".

you write "Filipino" but pronounce it as "Pilipino".

you can sustain jokes like this one indefinitely.

you often say 'Bulaga!' when you want to scare someone.

you fire your gun like crazy on new year's eve

you drive a jeep with your family name written on the back.

you preceed anything pluralized with "mga."

you put a little bowl of patis on the table for dipping, and your guests complain "who farted."

you cover your living room furniture with bed sheets.

you have toyo circles on your table cloths.

you wash and reuse disposable styroFoam cups, forks and spoons and of course, aluminum wrapper (Reynolds wrap) or cover paper plates with waxed paper so you can reuse it.

you cover your carpet floors with plastic liners, you might be Filipino.

[Completely 3]

Alam na natin ang mga bagay na ito, hindi na dapat nating i post as hindi lang pilipino ang nagbabasa dito sa VJ.. Mahirap mang tangapin wala ng paraan para mabago pa ang pilipinas.. Siguro ang magagawa na lang natin is kahit paano itaas na lang natin ang ating noo and be proud to be pilipino.. By posting this, parang ipinapaalam natin sa buong mundo na ganito ang bansa natin, at dahil dito patuloy tayong minamaliit, mamaliitin at tratratuhin na animoy pinakamababang uri sa balat ng lupa. Dont give them a chance na bigyan tayo ng mas marami pang kapintasan base sa mga ganitong basahin bagkus, ipagmalaki sana natin ang ating bansang sinilangan.

Ipinagpapaumanhin ko, ang pagsasabi ng totoo, ito ay labag sa aking kalooban ang makabasa ng ganitong usapin, dahilan na rin sa aking mga naging karanasan sa ibat ibang bansa.

Ipagmalaki natin ang pilipinas. sa ganitong paraan baka sakali pa mabago ang sistema ng ating bansa.

Peace!

Edited November 24, 2008 by Completely

[davanj 0]

this list may have been posted before...

you might be Filipino if...

you have a "barrel man" in your house, you may be filipino...(you know..the wooden man...when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!)

you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino.

you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino.

you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino.

you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino.

you smoke in your house

you put up your knee while eating

you eat kanin and ulam using your hand

you are pakialamero

you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador

you are chismosa

you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom.

you say For Take Out instead of to go.

you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino.

you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino.

you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino.

your nickname is "boy", you might be a Filipino.

you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino.

you say "Canteen" instead of cafeteria, then you must be filipino

you eat under-developed duck eggs.

you call it a "ballpoint" or"ballpen" , not a "pen"

you pronounce the word ALREADY as OLREYDI.

you say, Kodakan, instead of take pictures.

you do "mano po" to older people in the house you're about to enter.

you refer to to your refrigerator as "pridyider"

your grandma smiles and her teeth are all red because of "nga-nga"

you say "pliers" when you meant "fliers"

you say "######" when you meant "beach"

you pronounce "hippopatamus" and "comfortable" in a funny way

you say "Boose" for "bus"

you cover your sofa with bright red and green blankets

you have a Last Supper quilt tacked on your dining wall

your "walking doll" is still new even though it was bought years ago because your mom kept it in the china cabinet and never let you play with it.

you drive a Mercedes-Benz with maroon seat covers

you hang a rosary on the rear view mirror of your car.

you have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room.

you buy the karaoke system first before the stereo and TV

you have an out of tune piano and nobody in the family ever learned to play.

you know what "chocolate meat" is

you say chok-o-late.

you have a "Weapons of Morroland" shield.

you didn't hear or understand something and your first expression is "HA?".

you're standing next to big boxes at the airport.

you say 'hoy' to get someone's attention.

you like peanut butter with chocolate.

you make para on a bus.

your car churps like a bird when it's in reverse.

you turn around when you hear somebody say "psssst."

you instinctively grab a toothpick after a meal.

you order the langunisa meal on a PAL Balikbayan flight.

you laugh seeing somebody slip.

you burp when you're busog (or after sipping a beer)

you call somebody "psssst."

you smile/grin a lot even for no reason,

you sit by squating down and leaning your elbows on your knees.

you use a Bolo to cut the grass in the yard.

you refer to keorosene as "white gas."

there are pairs of flip-flops outside your door

you have power failures every day at the same time that you can set your watch to.

your biggest frying pan is shaped like a wok.

you own both a rice cooker, and an air pot.

you refer to "Accent" and all other forms of monosodium glutimate as "Ajinomoto"

you go to a department store, and try to bargain the price.

you drink with your friends and share the same glass, and pass it around.

you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale.

you say kutex instead of nail polish, you are one too.

you are stumped when asked what kind of bread in a deli.

you're the plane passenger with the largest hand-carry luggage.

you scratch your head when you don't know what you're doing.

you don't want to eat the last piece of food on the plate, but offer it to others.

you say "she" when you should say "he"

you say "ano" this and "ano" that

you put your hands together and point them in the direction you are walking to pass between other people

you say that everybody is your cousin/niece/nephew/aunt/uncle/...

you have a big Buddha at home for good luck( not the serene Buddha like what the Thais have, but the big, fat, laughing one with those pesky little kids crawling all over him).

you bring a "baon" to work everyday, you're probably a Filipino.

your ice cold beer really has ice cubes in it.

you eat balut and wash it down with beer to bulk up.

you have a parol hanging outside your house during the Christmas holidays.

you say things sorta backwards like towelpaper instead of papertowel and stick bread instead of breadsticks.

you say guper instead of gopher.

you eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

you say "aray" instead of "ouch ".

you look up and say "ha!" when somebody says "what's up".

you write "Filipino" but pronounce it as "Pilipino".

you can sustain jokes like this one indefinitely.

you often say 'Bulaga!' when you want to scare someone.

you fire your gun like crazy on new year's eve

you drive a jeep with your family name written on the back.

you preceed anything pluralized with "mga."

you put a little bowl of patis on the table for dipping, and your guests complain "who farted."

you cover your living room furniture with bed sheets.

you have toyo circles on your table cloths.

you wash and reuse disposable styroFoam cups, forks and spoons and of course, aluminum wrapper (Reynolds wrap) or cover paper plates with waxed paper so you can reuse it.

you cover your carpet floors with plastic liners, you might be Filipino.

very true..hehe its ok im still of proud being a Filipino

[ez2007 1]

Despite all of those mentioned, I'm still proud to be a Pinay.

[greatblackbeauty 0]

KAHIT GANITO MAN ANG MGA PILIPINO,BUT TAKE NOTE, TAYONG MGA PINOY ANG MASIPAG AT MATIYAGA SA ANU MANG KLASENG TRABAHO.

PROUD PARIN ME!!!

[franksonb 0]

Im very proud of my country even it is a poor country.

[jom 4]

Proud to be a Filipino

[Ana1988 0]

funny thread,but some people dont like it.

Im proud to be Pinoy!!

--------------------------------------------

our K1 Timeline

March 15,2008-----------met my soldier online

September 1-22,2008-----first time together in Philippines

September 1,2008---------my baby proposed to get married personally

September 1-22,2008------first time together in Philippines

September 22,2008------saddest time (leaving Philippines)

November**2008--------I129 F sent to USCIS Vermont

November 7,2008-------Notice date(case recieved at USCIS)

November 15,2008-------NOA1 hardcopy recieved by mail

waiting for NOA2, I hope its not a long wait

[Jasman0717 9]