Mahr - What Determines Worth?

[Tunisia216 2]

But that's the difference. It shouldn't be stated as "My husband paid xxxx for me" I think that's a very very wrong statement on so many levels for anyone to make. As Rahma said, it's gifts - furniture, jewels, household items, and any number of things that more often than not are used for the couple to start their life together. And I know in my husband's family several items have been passed down as part of the mahr. So they can even be generations old. It's not always the monetary aspect, but also tradition and such with in a family.

Is it buying a green card when the foreign spouse buys a big ol diamond ring for his future bride? Or pays for the wedding? Or pays for any other number of things that are normally associated with marriage?

In an islamic marriage, mahr is simply part of the deal, just like an expensive ring is often part of the deal state side. It's a gift from the groom to his bride, and a bit of insurance for her future wellbeing.

its different when you buy your woman a diamond ring, or just buy the woman...your buying HER something while asking for marriage, but with a mahr, your buying HER as the property. big difference.

Ah, no. Mahr is a gift. The man is not purchasing the woman. A wife is not property of her husband.

lets say my sister came to me and sd " my husband paid 20,000 for ME" thats buying her, and thats her being property now, not a wife

[star_dragon 0]

Tara in the olden days society was in a constant state of war so men died a lot. The money's a holdover from those days. Kind of like life insurance.

That makes sense. Also probably in a time when women didn't work or contribute financially..this way they could support themselves if they were left widowed?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

If you're taking your interpretation of the religion from a flippant remark given in response to the statement that you know you're a MENA wife if you bought your husband, then you're probably not going to get a scholarly understanding of the concept.

See, sh*t stirring.

[Sinergy 3]

Ok then thats the difference, if my sister sd " HE BOUGHT ME AND IM WORTH EVERY PENNY"....wouldnt that be greencard fraud?

not to mention highly unmoral?

But that's the difference. It shouldn't be stated as "My husband paid xxxx for me" I think that's a very very wrong statement on so many levels for anyone to make. As Rahma said, it's gifts - furniture, jewels, household items, and any number of things that more often than not are used for the couple to start their life together. And I know in my husband's family several items have been passed down as part of the mahr. So they can even be generations old. It's not always the monetary aspect, but also tradition and such with in a family.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Tara in the olden days society was in a constant state of war so men died a lot. The money's a holdover from those days. Kind of like life insurance.

That makes sense. Also probably in a time when women didn't work or contribute financially..this way they could support themselves if they were left widowed?

ya, at least that's what i heard. i'm no expert of coruse. not even muslim.

[RAKASA 0]

lets say my sister came to me and sd " my husband paid 20,000 for ME and i was worth every penny" thats buying her, and thats her being property now, not a wife

But if she came to me and sd " oh Jason bought me a beautiful engagment ring and i sd yes" that is her accepting to be his wife without payment, bc she can always get rid of the ring and still marry him

I think you're referring to Queen Whitey w/ the golden cootchie that announced that of herself yesterday... she doesn't know wth she's talking about. I believe everyone (for the most part) does NOT think this way. Whack jobs abound in every forum

[Sinergy 3]

If you're taking your interpretation of the religion from a flippant remark given in response to the statement that you know you're a MENA wife if you bought your husband, then you're probably not going to get a scholarly understanding of the concept.

See, sh*t stirring.

no sh*t stirring, its a question i became curious about...if i was muslim or married to one, this wouldnt be concidered sh*t stirring, so give me my scholarly answer if you can

[Ban Hammer 13,206]

Further, as an example, mine was a small amount of money up front, and the cost of further education once I decide what the heck it is that I want to do with my life. It was suppose to be law school, but now I'm looking into studying one of the islamic sciences. Haven't decided what area I'd specialize in just yet, so I'm just doing the basics for now.

Also, a cat. and inshaAllah we'll be getting that cat in a few weeks

now i'm starting to wonder how mags got all of them cats.

[star_dragon 0]

Tara in the olden days society was in a constant state of war so men died a lot. The money's a holdover from those days. Kind of like life insurance.

That makes sense. Also probably in a time when women didn't work or contribute financially..this way they could support themselves if they were left widowed?

ya, at least that's what i heard. i'm no expert of coruse. not even muslim.

Me neither

But this makes me think of the victorian times in England. Didn't they do this too? Maybe I need to re-read Jane Austen

[Jenn! 918]

Oya. Can we discuss the subject without digs at other members please?

[Sinergy 3]

China did it too back in the day

[RAKASA 0]

Oya. Can we discuss the subject without digs at other members please?

yeah, yeah My beeyotch musta jumped out!

[sereia 0]

Oya. Can we discuss the subject without digs at other members please?

yeah, yeah My beeyotch musta jumped out!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I thought as much. Thanks for the answer.

But that's the difference. It shouldn't be stated as "My husband paid xxxx for me" I think that's a very very wrong statement on so many levels for anyone to make. As Rahma said, it's gifts - furniture, jewels, household items, and any number of things that more often than not are used for the couple to start their life together. And I know in my husband's family several items have been passed down as part of the mahr. So they can even be generations old. It's not always the monetary aspect, but also tradition and such with in a family.

Is it buying a green card when the foreign spouse buys a big ol diamond ring for his future bride? Or pays for the wedding? Or pays for any other number of things that are normally associated with marriage?

In an islamic marriage, mahr is simply part of the deal, just like an expensive ring is often part of the deal state side. It's a gift from the groom to his bride, and a bit of insurance for her future wellbeing.

its different when you buy your woman a diamond ring, or just buy the woman...your buying HER something while asking for marriage, but with a mahr, your buying HER as the property. big difference.

Ah, no. Mahr is a gift. The man is not purchasing the woman. A wife is not property of her husband.

lets say my sister came to me and sd " my husband paid 20,000 for ME" thats buying her, and thats her being property now, not a wife

[Imua 0]

I understand what you're all saying and I do agree that a woman's worth is absolutely not based upon her looks but upon the content of her character. However Islamically or traditionally speaking I view it more as a man showing his devotion to caring for his wife, providing for her, and his public expression of that commitment (no matter how great or small the value of the dowry may be). However, as I typically state, to each their own and what is best is what works for you and your life!

HOLLA! :thumbs: :thumbs:

Thousands? We could all have one

yeah... but for a 12 year old boy........

Just try to explain THAT age gap to the CO.....

Seriously this dowry business reminds me of a movie they used to show in school that was supposed to take place on a Pacific island I think... Men gave cows to their potential inlaws as a sign of the wife's worth and all the girls in the village bragged about how many cows their fiance was giving to their parents... There was one girl who was an outcaste who the other girls shunned and considered the 'ugly girl'... She somehow caught the attention of a guy who offered some huge number of cows, because of her inner beautiy and worth - all of the other 'pretty' catty girls were pwned, LOL.... I of course loved this movie and wish I could remember what it was called.