what's wrong with getting married during the first trip?

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

What is the rush? Don't get married on the first visit. See if you like each other first in person and get to know each others families. Do more than one visit in person. Get engaged in person first. Have the celebration, take lots of pictures. Then apply for the K1 and get married in the US with her friends and family around and with the white dress and all. The K3 takes a long time and you may never see each other again and end up in divorce.

Are you kidding me? Just when you think you know what cosulates are thinking they change the rules. How can you telll somebody to marry first time or not? Bottom line is if they love each other enough they will get through anything weather they get denied or not. If you have bonifide relationship you will get here. Maybe first time you not get here. There are no rules. Dont get married on first visit blah blah blah dont you know they figuring out what you saying and what people doing. I been involved with person I thought that loved me but got denied. YOu know what,maybe they were right. Trying to beat the system. Good job, maybe let it be. If you know what i mean.

Anyone who knows me well and my situation right now would know I am in no frame of mind to be kidding anyone currently. I'd dead serious. The talked for a year? That's about all we know about them. Knowing that little and knowing this process I stick with my recommendations to them.

[2ond journey 0]

What is the rush? Don't get married on the first visit. See if you like each other first in person and get to know each others families. Do more than one visit in person. Get engaged in person first. Have the celebration, take lots of pictures. Then apply for the K1 and get married in the US with her friends and family around and with the white dress and all. The K3 takes a long time and you may never see each other again and end up in divorce.

Are you kidding me? Just when you think you know what cosulates are thinking they change the rules. How can you telll somebody to marry first time or not? Bottom line is if they love each other enough they will get through anything weather they get denied or not. If you have bonifide relationship you will get here. Maybe first time you not get here. There are no rules. Dont get married on first visit blah blah blah dont you know they figuring out what you saying and what people doing. I been involved with person I thought that loved me but got denied. YOu know what,maybe they were right. Trying to beat the system. Good job, maybe let it be. If you know what i mean.

Anyone who knows me well and my situation right now would know I am in no frame of mind to be kidding anyone currently. I'd dead serious. The talked for a year? That's about all we know about them. Knowing that little and knowing this process I stick with my recommendations to them.

well maybe but i guess we all have our #### to deal with. i am about to exploid. But its ok. Some count some dont.

What is the rush? Don't get married on the first visit. See if you like each other first in person and get to know each others families. Do more than one visit in person. Get engaged in person first. Have the celebration, take lots of pictures. Then apply for the K1 and get married in the US with her friends and family around and with the white dress and all. The K3 takes a long time and you may never see each other again and end up in divorce.

Are you kidding me? Just when you think you know what cosulates are thinking they change the rules. How can you telll somebody to marry first time or not? Bottom line is if they love each other enough they will get through anything weather they get denied or not. If you have bonifide relationship you will get here. Maybe first time you not get here. There are no rules. Dont get married on first visit blah blah blah dont you know they figuring out what you saying and what people doing. I been involved with person I thought that loved me but got denied. YOu know what,maybe they were right. Trying to beat the system. Good job, maybe let it be. If you know what i mean.

Anyone who knows me well and my situation right now would know I am in no frame of mind to be kidding anyone currently. I'd dead serious. The talked for a year? That's about all we know about them. Knowing that little and knowing this process I stick with my recommendations to them.

well maybe but i guess we all have our #### to deal with. i am about to exploid. But its ok. Some count some dont.

forgot to add. Nobody knows me.

[nomadicspirit 0]

This is a reply to Olivia and anyone else who frowns upon this relationship. It is true that we have been communicating for over a year without physically meeting. What is also true is that our bond has developed from friendship to LOVE. We have grown to learn of each others cultures, strengths, insecurities, faith, values, morals. We learned of each others family members and spoke extensively to them, knowing each member by name and characteristics. We share similar backgrounds. We both come from a very large family. We are both students who share the same ambitions for a successful future. Is it truly possible that we have found LOVE. YES, absolutely! Is it true that people can know each other all thier lives and marriage lasts 5 months? YES, absolutely! Is it true that people can meet for LESS than a year and marry for over 5 years? YES, absolutely! My question was not pertaining to my life but rather a way for two lovers to finally share the LOVE they have for one another. For anyone who can advice us without being critical or judgemental, I look forward to your reply. Thanks in advance.

[sereia 0]

I thought we have made it clear. Yes, it is frowned upon, and recommended you visit him more than once. Doesn't it seem obvious, I mean its common sense imo. But you seem like you want to get married when you meet him, so do it. Like I said, some people get the visa having only met once. Maybe you'll be lucky too!

If you don't want opinions from people, don't post on a public board!

Edited October 26, 2008 by sereia

[nomadicspirit 0]

No "we" didn't make it clear. Only one posted their opinion on the ligitimacy of our relationship. The rest were very supportive. Opinions from people is not based on our relationships and if it seems believable. You went waaaaaaaaaaaay on left field, lets try to stay center. An advice on the right paper process was the discussion not personal counseling for rejects who were obviously hurt in the past!!

[sereia 0]

No "we" didn't make it clear. Only one posted their opinion on the ligitimacy of our relationship. The rest were very supportive. Opinions from people is not based on our relationships and if it seems believable. You went waaaaaaaaaaaay on left field, lets try to stay center. An advice on the right paper process was the discussion not personal counseling for rejects who were obviously hurt in the past!!

Whatever. Come on a board and start attacking people who are trying to give advice to a post YOU started. I didn't read anywhere in the replies where ANYONE was trying to hurt you, but give honest opinions, and you want to call people "rejects who were obviously hurt in the past"?

Remember your title, "What's wrong with getting married during the first trip?" No where in the original post did you (or was it your fiance?) ask for advice other than if we think it is frowned upon or not.

There are guides on Visa Journey for the marriage visas on how to file and what to include in that file. Read the guides. There is also another sub-forum for marriage visas where you can ask away there.

Anyway welcome to VJ and thanks for the opening insults. You'll fit in nicely here...

Edited October 26, 2008 by sereia

[Jenn! 918]

I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss WHY the consulate might give more scrutiny to couples that marry on the first trip. I think you will find here that there is a good deal of experience, not only with the visa process and the ins and outs of specific consulates, but also with what happens after immigrating. It's nothing new here that advice based on such experience is unwanted, but I stand by the belief that it serves a very good purpose. I think many in this forum will attest to that.

If you don't feel someone's opinion is applicable to you, the beauty of a message board is that you can ignore it. It might help someone else.

Edited October 26, 2008 by Jenn!

[Sabr 0]

I don't think it's unreasonable to discuss WHY the consulate might give more scrutiny to couples that marry on the first trip. I think you will find here that there is a good deal of experience, not only with the visa process and the ins and outs of specific consulates, but also with what happens after immigrating. It's nothing new here that advice based on such experience is unwanted, but I stand by the belief that it serves a very good purpose. I think many in this forum will attest to that.

If you don't feel someone's opinion is applicable to you, the beauty of a message board is that you can ignore it. It might help someone else.

and your to this problem is solution is......?

I thought we have made it clear. Yes, it is frowned upon, and recommended you visit him more than once. Doesn't it seem obvious, I mean its common sense imo. But you seem like you want to get married when you meet him, so do it. Like I said, some people get the visa having only met once. Maybe you'll be lucky too!

If you don't want opinions from people, don't post on a public board!

I think we need solutions rather than opinions. What do you offer as a soultion?

[Sabr 0]

Ok, lets say there is so there is more scrutiny for these people.

what do you do about it?

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

The solution? Hmmm, I doubt that there is one. Be ready to defend your case and your relationship. Be prepared to address all of the potential red flags ahead of the game but if you are in the rush to jump in then make sure that you both are ready to deal with the consequences if things don't go your way. The thing is that there is no guarantees in this process. The consulate in Casablanca is not an easy place to get thru without a fight so just be ready for anything. The decision is yours and so is the risk...It's your life after all - so who cares, right...???

Edited October 26, 2008 by ~*Dorothy*~

[star_dragon 0]

Solution? I would never come to a public forum for a life-changing solution. Advice maybe. Opinions.. sure there will be many. But asking for a solution - I don't think that's something anyone here can give. Just support based on experience..

Ok seriously, I never respond to these threads. See what 10 jello shots does to me?

Going to bed now B)

[~*Dorothy*~ 2]

Ok seriously, I never respond to these threads. See what 10 jello shots does to me?

Going to bed now B)

Jello shots - always wanted to try them...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

10 jello shots? Dang gurrrrl u messed up! I bet u won't remember these post until tomorrow.

Ok so back to the OP. The validity of your relationship is exactly what is going to be in question when you get married on the first trip. Just because I'm giving it to you here don't think you won't expect it every step of the way. This will help bone you up on what you're about to face. From your first taste stepping into the embassy you both will be questioned every step of the way and it doesn't matter if you're deeply in love or not. Their job is to weed out the frauds and that's exactly what they do. So why the rush? Why rob the bride of all she is entitled too? This should be a happy occasion celebrated with friends and family if this is what you truly want. There shouldn't be any grab and dash to the finish line. There is something to be said for order and traditions. You can never get that day back. You can never get the sanctimony of it again if it was both or one of you's first marriage. If she is coming there for the first time to her first predominantly Muslim country she is going to be having a major culture shock. On top of that if she is the same age as you and no one is there for her on her side of the wedding party and she's in a completely foreign culture where she can't read and write the language and know what she is signing on the marriage contract then she is going to be scared witless even if she is brave and goes through with it. There is fine line between brave and stupid. If you are insistent upon marrying her then do it the proper way and take her to the Ministry of Justice and advise her of her rights to have her own attorney who can translate what she is signing and put in any conditions of marriage she may have a right in the US to but not in MENA country to. It is her right and if you truly care for her you would advise her so of her right as a good person who is caring for her and not just pushing her into something because she is vulnerable and in love with you. You must take all proper measure with her to ensure her trust for the future if you are truly building a marriage here.

I don't know much more about the nature of your relationship if she is older and has kids or what level of education you are both having but all of this will come into consideration during the interview and of course the fact that you married on the first visit with be scrutinized. You are saying you have things in common but is she having any ties to your mother land other than that? Has she lived there for six months? Is she half Arab? Is she the same religion before you met? It's all going to be scrutinized and I'm only being blunt honest now because you would be blind not to recognize it otherwise. Over the course of the two years I've been going through this I've learned that all of this comes into question to the furthest extent. So I would advise to take your time. Enjoy yourselves. Get to know each other well. Make it something truly special for you and your family and friends. Document everything because it will all be proof of relationship later. Have an engagement party the first visit and romance her. The go for the K1. It is faster if you are looking for quick. If you are trying to avoid any military service with a quick marriage be aware this is a risk and they may still take you such as my Husband. Then it is an unbearable wait for your spouse and a delay in the visa process regardless. Make sure all your ducks are in a row before you take on the responsibility of marriage. Make sure you are doing right by the person you want to make your wife for life. She will remember the day you married forever. She will remember the day of engagement forever. It will all matter in the end. None of this is intended to offend.

Edited October 26, 2008 by Olivia*

[Delete Me 0]

I wouldn't do it because I have heard the K-3 route takes a lot longer. The k-1 process for me and my husband was only 7 months. Some people with a k-3 visa are taking a lot longer.

I agree, we did the K1 and it took us maybe 7 months. Our wait was nothing compared to others.

I did the K-3 in 2001 and it took about 6 months. Did the K-1 in 2008 and it took 7 months. Not sure if the K-3s are taking longer now in 2008 compared to 2001. Both times for The Philippines.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I wouldn't do it because I have heard the K-3 route takes a lot longer. The k-1 process for me and my husband was only 7 months. Some people with a k-3 visa are taking a lot longer.

I agree, we did the K1 and it took us maybe 7 months. Our wait was nothing compared to others.

I did the K-3 in 2001 and it took about 6 months. Did the K-1 in 2008 and it took 7 months. Not sure if the K-3s are taking longer now in 2008 compared to 2001. Both times for The Philippines.

I'm doing the K3 from Egypt and it's been since June 2007. Some are faster that other and some take years. Over all the K1 has been the fastest from the MENA region.