Third K1 Visa

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

just another day in Florida rush hour

[toma1 10]

just another day in Florida rush hour

Ya... except for the traffic. The average speed on that bridge must approach 90 mph on a normal day.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Perhaps it comes as a surprise to you, but most people in the world know MUCH more about America than Americans know about the world.

Boy is that true!!

Speaking of Walmart, did you know that they size everything THREE sizes too big?

Doh! Now I feel fat again! (might as well 'fess up here, in the name of self-awareness)

All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"

Also, keep in mind that I didn't post that to demonstrate marrying up or down. I was posting it to illustrate that certain groups of Asian women are more likely than other groups to marry someone that is substantially older than them regardless of financial need.

I'm sure you'll find a group of similar Americans.....money is more important than age for some

sigh... The point is that they were ALREADY rich and therefore money was unlikely to have been an issue.

Toma1 your commentary is always thoughtfully presented (even when you are stuck in traffic).

[steve55 0]

I think people should marry whoever the hell they want for whatever reason without having to justify it, if both people are happy.

However, if I was lovely young non-American woman getting hitched to an American guy, I'd find it really depressing and little bit screwed up to find our relationship described vis à vis his attitudes toward American women and that my national origin was some kind of "trait". Just my 2 cents.

LOL, OMG, how funny, its actually quite the contrary. I get TONS of emails at cherry blossoms (where I meet most of the filipinas) who compliment me on what I said about filipinas being better valued than Western ladies. I state in my profile that in general, I think filipiinas make better wives, are more dedicated to their man and family, less likely to divoce, and have better family values, and are not materialistic like most Western ladies are. The ladies say they are impressed that I think this way and that I value the filipinas like that.

Ill strongly disagree with Toma 1 in regards to saying most foreign ladies are as materialitic as American woman are. STRONGLY disagree. LOL. What I have personally witnessed with dating asian ladies here in texas, and especially with knowing filipinas is that there is a HUGE difference. My personal observations also matches what 100's of other men who have dated and married asian ladies, well, mostly filipinas have said also.

Here are some EXAMPLES from other men posting at other internet sites regarding the general differences:

1.What I have found is filapinas appreciate how they are treated much more than western women. I think , IMHO, it's

their inherant(sp?) attitudes that really differentiate the 2 cultures. Western women feel they are entitled to

everything that you have where as filapinas appreciate whatever you can do for them. At least that's my take on the

issue.

2. I am guilty of looking at women in the US and observing how they only view men as an economic means by which to get ahead in life, and how they are focused upon the material for happiness and have forgotten about love.

3. I have found Asian women to be collaborative in a relationship versus wanting to run the whole thing from one perspective only.

- They are committed to making a relationship successful over the long term

- They are family oriented, which makes them more caring and nurturing

- A person that has lived or seen poverty up close has developed a sense of value and thrift that helps decision-making in household matters. Less materialistic and they understand the value of a peso/dollar.

- My Joy is quick to say “I love You”, “Thank You”, and show respect very frequently. This warms my heart and makes me more than willing to return my love as well. While my ex-wife is more inclined to say “What have you done for me today”.

4.To a certain degree, Filipinas seem to have a reputation for being sweet, gentle, loving and loyal.

Many (most?) do not have interest in material wealth, only whether a potential husband would love them and treat them well.

(In my case, Maria could have married at least two different millionaires. She was turned off by their displays of wealth. She thought they might be more interested in their properties and portfolios than in her and future children.)

Three, four of our friends say many American women, at least in the Washington, DC metro area, are focused on the size of a guy's bank account and little else.

5. Filipinas are hard-wired differently than American women who grow up spoiled and undisciplined. Filipinas don't marry a guy because he is "cute" or "cut". Marriage is about security, family and faith.

6. American women..

- highest maintenance (I've never heard of a foreign bride demanding her husband buy expensive house & cars)

- fattest in the world

- most likely to cheat

- highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages)

- largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ####-raped for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come)

- bitchiest

- most likely to nag constantly

- most likely to hate men

- spend least amount of time with her children

- worst at cooking and cleaning

7. 3 reasons to marry an American woman

1. You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.

2. You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.

3. You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard #### ###### for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.

8. I can not date white American women anymore. I was in the navy and I have seen the light. Women from other countries just look better and treat you better too! I didnAmerican women are high-maintenance primadonnas with attitudes. I'd take a foreign born Russian or Latina woman any day. I didnt pay for ###### when I was overseas and I pay up the wazoo here. Any rational person can figure it out from here.

9. Dating or being married to an American woman is like driving a beat-up Ford Escort. If you are only used to driving a beat-up Ford Escort, then you have no idea what it feels like when you drive a Bentley or Ferrari. You need to at least test-drive a Ferrari, so you'll have a reference point on what a real car feels like.

10. Foreign women are comfortable in their femininity. As a male I am attracted to this. And I love her with all my heart.

I believe that American women have priced themselves out of the marketplace. Too needy, too many headgames, too easy to divorce.

Not many foreign men want American wives either.

Edited October 16, 2009 by steve55

[LaL 418]

You are very special steve55

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Not many foreign men want American wives either.

So true. I mean, there are no American woman posting on VJ so you are clearly correct. Your correctness in this statement clearly demonstrates that everything else is completely and 100% accurate and not at all delusional. Well done sir

[toma1 10]

Ill strongly disagree with Toma 1 in regards to saying most foreign ladies are as materialitic as American woman are.

I think I said that "I am not convinced." I hear your assertion quite often, but I have not seen enough evidence to convince me that it is true. As far as I can tell, there hasn't been a controlled study on the issue. I see anecdotes, as you have posted, but for every story that that supports your conclusion, another story contradicts it. See here for example:

http://www.dragonladies.org/

Personally, I've never noticed a difference in Asian versus Western women on this issue, but my salary has been relatively high since I graduated, so that doesn't mean very much.

My ex- (American) ended up marrying a guy who works at Walmart for love and religion. (We had serious religious differences, and he is as religious as she is.) Her standard of living is not great, so her story definitely detracts from your hypothesis. I've known both Asian and American women that married for money. (And vice-versa, obviously.)

I'm willing to see the evidence, if you have it, but anecdotes get us nowhere. This actually reminds me of that Christian v. Muslim thread in the off-topic section wherein the Christian group posts a motley collection of nasty verses from the Koran and the Muslims counter with equally nasty verses from the Bible, none of which proves anything.

Edited October 17, 2009 by toma1

[toma1 10]

Here is a funny story that both sides might enjoy. I think many of you will agree that this woman got the advice that she "needed".

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Edited October 17, 2009 by toma1

[MrsBocanegra 3]

Ill strongly disagree with Toma 1 in regards to saying most foreign ladies are as materialitic as American woman are.

I think I said that "I am not convinced." I hear your assertion quite often, but I have not seen enough evidence to convince me that it is true. As far as I can tell, there hasn't been a controlled study on the issue. I see anecdotes, as you have posted, but for every story that that supports your conclusion, another story contradicts it. See here for example:

http://www.dragonladies.org/

Personally, I've never noticed a difference in Asian versus Western women on this issue, but my salary has been relatively high since I graduated, so that doesn't mean very much.

My ex- (American) ended up marrying a guy who works at Walmart for love and religion. (We had serious religious differences, and he is as religious as she is.) Her standard of living is not great, so her story definitely detracts from your hypothesis. I've known both Asian and American women that married for money. (And vice-versa, obviously.)

I'm willing to see the evidence, if you have it, but anecdotes get us nowhere. This actually reminds me of that Christian v. Muslim thread in the off-topic section wherein the Christian group posts a motley collection of nasty verses from the Koran and the Muslims counter with equally nasty verses from the Bible, none of which proves anything.

Toma1,

When I first read your post I was outraged, but then I put my emotions aside and really read what you were trying to say. I feel a lot of people were beating you up without really giving you a chance.

You did not generalize all American women as fat gold diggers like someone else. You just stated that looks are important to you and your wife, which is fine since you both feel that way. You also said your wife has the right criticize your weight as well and I think that is only fair. What most people forget is that attraction is a very important factor in relationships, but we also have to look for something deeper then just looks. I think that is where most people had a problem with your statement. I am not saying you are very superficial, but it did come across that way at first. After reading more of your post I realized you do like brains as well as beauty.

I have to agree with you regarding materialistic women. I think there are materialistic women in EVERY country. I know quite a few Filipinas that are VERY, VERY materialistic, but I will not put every Filipina in this category because I know not all of them are like that. I was in a relationship with a Asian man who made a great living, but we were not in love. If I only cared about money Steve55 I would have stayed with him. I am now petitioning my SO from Mexico, because I love him, not because of his bank account.

Steve55,

It is ignorant of you to categorizes all American women into one category. I think relationships are about compromising, and love. I don't expect any man to take care of me that is why I have a degree. I expect us to be partners and love and respect each other because that is what a relationship is about.

Edit: sorry typo

Edited October 17, 2009 by msacano

[Brad and Vika 129]

Here is a funny story that both sides might enjoy. I think many of you will agree that this woman got the advice that she "needed".

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Entertaining stuff Toma1 Providing some evidence for the position that there are people in every culture focused on money/things, but really helping to prove Steve55's last point, no?

[steve55 0]

Steve55,

It is ignorant of you to categorizes all American women into one category. I think relationships are about compromising, and love. I don't expect any man to take care of me that is why I have a degree. I expect us to be partners and love and respect each other because that is what a relationship is about.

Edit: sorry typo

I never said ALL american woman are that way. I always say "In general" or "most". Even match.com shows about 70% of american ladies having minimum income reqirements of $50K +. That's evidence enough that western ladies are looking for a man to make a certain amount of money for a certain lifestyle. ! I notice that the foreign ladies dont list minimum incomes in their dating profiles even when given the oppurtunity to. Its so obvious! I know what I see with my own eyes, Ive seen how both american woman are and how asian ladies are, and I have drawn my own conclusions. We can agree to disagree on this subject, but over at the internet forum of plenty of fish.com, most men are agreeing with me about t his subject. I mean even just talkng with my buddies who are not into asian ladies, they completely agree that american ladies are more materialitic compared to foreign ladies. NOT ALL, but in GENERAL.

COngrats to you for being that 20% who are not focusing on a man;s money/income when you decide whom you will date or marry.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Yeah and most men on those sites have attractiveness requirements for women. It's called biology, or so I've been told.

[Starlight95 1]

Here is a funny story that both sides might enjoy. I think many of you will agree that this woman got the advice that she "needed".

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

That was a good respond to her post . Thanks for sharing I enjoyed getting a laugh.

[toma1 10]

Here is a funny story that both sides might enjoy. I think many of you will agree that this woman got the advice that she "needed".

http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/golddigger.asp

Entertaining stuff Toma1 Providing some evidence for the position that there are people in every culture focused on money/things, but really helping to prove Steve55's last point, no?

Her ethnicity is not provided. You're assuming she's a Caucasian American.

[toma1 10]

I never said ALL american woman are that way. I always say "In general" or "most". Even match.com shows about 70% of american ladies having minimum income reqirements of $50K +. That's evidence enough that western ladies are looking for a man to make a certain amount of money for a certain lifestyle. ! I notice that the foreign ladies dont list minimum incomes in their dating profiles even when given the oppurtunity to. Its so obvious! I know what I see with my own eyes, Ive seen how both american woman are and how asian ladies are, and I have drawn my own conclusions. We can agree to disagree on this subject, but over at the internet forum of plenty of fish.com, most men are agreeing with me about t his subject. I mean even just talkng with my buddies who are not into asian ladies, they completely agree that american ladies are more materialitic compared to foreign ladies. NOT ALL, but in GENERAL.

COngrats to you for being that 20% who are not focusing on a man;s money/income when you decide whom you will date or marry.

$50k isn't poor, but that hardly qualifies as gold-digging.

Is a minimal income requirement worse than a minimal attractiveness requirement?

That is not a rhetorical question. I am leaning toward the belief that it is not worse, but I would like to hear some other opinions on the subject.