Is your spouse the jealous type????

[nunyab 0]

my husband jelouse??? well i would say protective. I am his he is mine and we must "protect" our relationship from others and eachother. Not sure if that makes sense it's taken me years to get used to it but after seeing all the things and experiences i have been through it all makes sense.. respect him he respects me. Especially an ocean away we behave as if we are right next to eachother.

He will say it's Jelouse or protective it doesn't matter we have our limits we've discussed and we keep our cool when there is something out of our comfort zone.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

Bassel, your hubby will calm down some, I would assume. I think they all do. They do get protective of us and they can't help but feel helpless with us being all the way over here where they can't do anything. At least this is my view. Ahmed's idea of keeping me safe is having me avoid any possibly "dangerous" situation. One thing you need to do, though, is make him understand you NEED girl time! My hubby had a hard time with that our first year, but after he saw how it helped me, he got over it.

S and S, You got lucky! I have to have my maintenance guy come when I'm not home or have one of my girlfriends come over. Since they all have lives, that doesn't happen.

[nunyab 0]

oh and yeah the maintaince man is an issue here too...lol

[S and S 12]

I had to stay in a hotel for a little while once and my husband was concerned over the gender of the maids and if it was really necessary to let them clean my room, lol. He eventually calmed down and got over it. I pointed out that almost all maids in America are women.

[nunyab 0]

I had to stay in a hotel for a little while once and my husband was concerned over the gender of the maids and if it was really necessary to let them clean my room, lol. He eventually calmed down and got over it. I pointed out that almost all maids in America are women.

i always wonder what they think is going to happen???

[Jenn! 918]

While the jealously and control stuff may seem endearing now, just be sure it's something that you're prepared to live your whole life with. Being raised as a woman in America, I would think it would be difficult to maintain that sort of lifestyle in the long run. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, but it's just something that really needs to be thought long and hard about. The novelty of the situation may wear off quickly.

[caybee 21]

While the jealously and control stuff may seem endearing now, just be sure it's something that you're prepared to live your whole life with. Being raised as a woman in America, I would think it would be difficult to maintain that sort of lifestyle in the long run. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, but it's just something that really needs to be thought long and hard about. The novelty of the situation may wear off quickly.

[polarbear 0]

I had to stay in a hotel for a little while once and my husband was concerned over the gender of the maids and if it was really necessary to let them clean my room, lol. He eventually calmed down and got over it. I pointed out that almost all maids in America are women.

I think I got lucky on that one. Maby because I worked in hotels he didn't have a problem with me staying in the same hotel in another city? In general, he knows that maintence men were a must and didn't ever question me on my activities before he got here. Still doesn't other than asking once if my study partner for a class was female

I just remembered the other time he was really jealous.... in Egypt, we were staying with a cousin of his - male, but I slept in his sister's room and the two of them slept in the same room. My husband had to leave for a day to take his father to the hospital 2 hrs away and he left me in the care of his cousin and a friend who brought along his American wife. We had a very touristy day in Cairo with the museum, shopping, and a faluka(sp?) ride on the Nile, ect... That night, when he heard what we had done he was so jealous that we went back down to the same boat and took a ride down the nile again so he could do it with me too

[Sandrila 1]

Once again I am glad to see that alot of our men are the same....I did not say ALL, I said some

well you can call it jealousy or can call it just plain old fashioned requesting of respect

I am sorry from the experience I have had here in USA, being an American wife or SO and now being the wife of a Moroccan Muslim

TOTALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DIFFERENT

we go round and round with this nearly everday...it gets tiring

If he were HERE, somethings would be different but the alot of requirements would remain the same

I have an ex too...and it is so unusual for him to cross any lines with me..once we were finished, WE WERE FINISHED

even it it was painful and hard to get over, regardless, he recently called when I was online with hubby and we talked for an usual amount of time, and he was drinking and he "went there" with me about alot of issues...of course I had to tell my husband..he was present with me. He understands basic communication due to the children

So my husband has a hard time accepting our very lax ways of life around here

I know fully how "laid back" our men are here as far as our socialization, friendships and outings with other men

things that men here wouldnt bat an eyelash at or think twice about and feel intimated by are just not the same with my man

I am a social girl too

a lot of friends and aquaintances and a very social career

it has been very restrictive for me

I was ready for a change, I admire the way my man is...but it is hard to accept these limitations fully

absolutely no male friends...I had to give up so many that were dear to me

no going out to bars or clubs at all

I have to be home by "his" reasonable hour..usually 9 pm at the latest

no outside drinking..i mean if i am at my sister's or my friend's house (which is in the same building as me) that is ok

no taking time at all with men, even if work related

due to my past history with experiences with men he doesnt want me to take my old "american ways" with him

I have changed but his rules are really quite unresonable

I too, want to share everythinng with my husband but sometimes it is better for me not to "mention" certain events

I am totally faithful too and lucky to have him but he drives me crazy

it is like being a child and having a FATHER...I adore him and want to be happy

I think alot of it has to do with him never having "seen" my life here

he just imagines all the things he has seen and heard and invisions a sort of "harem" if you will

I agree with him on alot of issues but I need to have some girlfriends and I need to relax unwind and enjoy life

it is the only way I can get thru this hell we are in now

he is just so different from any man I have even known and I try to communicate with him and ease his mind but what he says goes and believe me, even from there he manages to KNOW everything about what I do and

he questions me incessantly

I just cant wait for this AP to be over

I need my husband

we need to be together so we can have NORMAL marriage and he can see that I really am just a good normal woman

living an average life. even being on this site is questionable. sometimes I dont know how to explain anything to him

[doodlebugg 10]

My ex has come to the house I think three times since my husband arrived. I don't think he's jealous but then I don't know how I'd know unless I outright asked him. I guess since I don't know then maybe he isnt?

Anyhoo what I LOVE now is that when a man comes to the door he jumps up to get it while me and the girls wait to hear who it is, etc. Recently I had a very shady guy come to the house to collect an oil bill. Well he was this big burly guy that I'd normally be scared of considering he's a bill collector and all, and he rang the doorbell about 15 times! No joke! My husband is VERY blunt and to the point so when he opened the door he IMMEDIATELY confronted the man and said, "why do you ring the doorbell 15 times like that?" The guy was taken aback and said, "what?" (as if making like he didn't know what he did would automatically erase the incident ) and my husband said, "ring a doorbell ONCE. More than once is RUDE. Here is your money now leave us alone!"

He's very sharp with his words and is no doormat to anyone whereas I would have been walked all over on by that guy.

Also in work (ok this is so OT but I have to share) this one worker who he helps out was standing around so he said "can I help you with anything?" so instead of turning around and saying "no thank you" she didn't even look at him and shoo shoo'd him with her hands and arms. He later on went over to her and confronted her saying "please don't do that to me again". Again she said, "do what?", and he said "when you shoo'd me away after I asked to help you....I'm not a fly, I'm a human being and deserve to be treated with respect".

I love my husband!

[Nothing1234 2]

While the jealously and control stuff may seem endearing now, just be sure it's something that you're prepared to live your whole life with. Being raised as a woman in America, I would think it would be difficult to maintain that sort of lifestyle in the long run. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, but it's just something that really needs to be thought long and hard about. The novelty of the situation may wear off quickly.

The novelty WILL wear off quickly. I can not agree with you more Jenn! Reading some of the posts really have me concerned for some of you...

[AlHayatZween 2]

Mine is not as jealous as me...

[bassel15 0]

My ex has come to the house I think three times since my husband arrived. I don't think he's jealous but then I don't know how I'd know unless I outright asked him. I guess since I don't know then maybe he isnt?

Anyhoo what I LOVE now is that when a man comes to the door he jumps up to get it while me and the girls wait to hear who it is, etc. Recently I had a very shady guy come to the house to collect an oil bill. Well he was this big burly guy that I'd normally be scared of considering he's a bill collector and all, and he rang the doorbell about 15 times! No joke! My husband is VERY blunt and to the point so when he opened the door he IMMEDIATELY confronted the man and said, "why do you ring the doorbell 15 times like that?" The guy was taken aback and said, "what?" (as if making like he didn't know what he did would automatically erase the incident ) and my husband said, "ring a doorbell ONCE. More than once is RUDE. Here is your money now leave us alone!"

He's very sharp with his words and is no doormat to anyone whereas I would have been walked all over on by that guy.

Also in work (ok this is so OT but I have to share) this one worker who he helps out was standing around so he said "can I help you with anything?" so instead of turning around and saying "no thank you" she didn't even look at him and shoo shoo'd him with her hands and arms. He later on went over to her and confronted her saying "please don't do that to me again". Again she said, "do what?", and he said "when you shoo'd me away after I asked to help you....I'm not a fly, I'm a human being and deserve to be treated with respect".

I love my husband!

I like that I'm not a fly lol

[caybee 21]

My husband expressed some concern about male friends, me being out late at night, etc, before he arrived. It was never excessive, but it was more than I was used to. Now that he's been here for a year and a half, I have to say I don't feel much of a cultural difference there at all, or maybe we are just so similar in our personalities. Before he arrived, he knew I worked a few hours alone at night sometimes, and he swore I'd never be out alone after dark. Well, he came with me to work a few times, but now he doesn't worry unless I'm gone a long time without checking in. He works at night, sometimes goes out with male friends at night. If he's out late and I get bored, I sometimes go shopping or out with my sister, and he doesn't worry that I'm out after dark. If he comes home and I'm not there, he'll call, and we do check in by phone a few times a day, but I really don't feel any restrictions. The only thing that's been a small issue has been when he went over to a friend's house "for an hour" and walked in at 3 am after five hours. Well, we know Moroccan time. But he explained that even though his English is good and he loves talking with me, there's nothing like hanging out and speaking Darija with his buddies, and of course an hour can easily turn into five. So no problem there really. His friends are so good for him.

[Sandrila 1]

Mine is very jealous, but he's getting better. One of my male friends wrote him an email congratulating him on our marriage and he flipped. That was 2+ years ago. He's doing better now, but mostly because we have come to an agreement and we trust each other. I'm never alone with an unrelated male outside of work and he's never alone with an unrelated female. It does get tough when the maintenance guy comes. We're still having the discussion about hugging, too. But not with the maintenance guy!

of course no physical contact AT ALL

from any kind of male species

that is quite hard when you consider how natural it is for us to hug, kiss and nudge each other in our country

and quite frankly all his over protectiveness and restrictions are not easily understood by ANY of my friends and they just take the wrong judgements about it

i dont mean to rant and rave but it just has been quite an adjustment for me, and he isnt even here yet

but like i hear others say, it will mellow out once he comes

not that i had a real promiscuous past but certainly promiscuous by his standards and too open

he just feels that a wife needs to be a "certain" way

I agree for some things

I mean I would be jealous too of other girl friends and late night clubbin and stuff like that

The night the ex approached me he got really vulgar and too "comfortable" even by my standards

and since that one call, and i told my husband, it really put a damper his more than relaxed acceptance of our post marriage "relationship"