hummmph MENA men!!

[caybee 21]

My husband will use very similar language -- it will be good if I will "do some sport," it will be good if I will lose some weight for my health, that sort of thing. But it's all in the attitude. I know when he says this it's because he cares about my health, and I DO need to exercise and lose weight. He means it simply as loving and practical advice, the same as if he advised me to get more sleep or not work so hard. He's not judging me as an individual because of my weight and fitness level. He still holds my hand and hugs me in public. He still treats me like I'm beautiful. Sure, first time I heard it I was hearing with my American ears, and to an American woman, that sort of comment is often a criticism followed by rejection. But in his case, it's just loving advice, pure and simple, from someone who wants us to be healthy together for a long, long time.

Glad you talked it out. Don't beat yourself up over it. You're still learning each other's language, just like we all are, and there are bound to be misunderstandings and miscommunication from time to time. He signed on, albeit unexpectedly, as your personal trainer, and there will be ways you can coach him as well during your life together.

[Martiniolive 0]

OK...I am right there with ya! BOOTCAMP! I am getting up in the morning and going to the trail before work......Think ROCKY LOL....Thanks for the thread RAJ we can do it! Well be totally Hot! (I don't like MILF..but if I did...we'll be MILF's ) OMG my daughter just told me she is pregnant does that make me a GILF? ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

OK

i know i am not over weight but i am not what i like to be he knows i am better when i exercise and martini olive i amthe same way. This visa process and work and single mom but you know there is no reason why i can't take an hour go to the club house and move my butt... it is Soooo on!!

[nunyab 0]

My husband will use very similar language -- it will be good if I will "do some sport," it will be good if I will lose some weight for my health, that sort of thing. But it's all in the attitude. I know when he says this it's because he cares about my health, and I DO need to exercise and lose weight. He means it simply as loving and practical advice, the same as if he advised me to get more sleep or not work so hard. He's not judging me as an individual because of my weight and fitness level. He still holds my hand and hugs me in public. He still treats me like I'm beautiful. Sure, first time I heard it I was hearing with my American ears, and to an American woman, that sort of comment is often a criticism followed by rejection. But in his case, it's just loving advice, pure and simple, from someone who wants us to be healthy together for a long, long time.

Glad you talked it out. Don't beat yourself up over it. You're still learning each other's language, just like we all are, and there are bound to be misunderstandings and miscommunication from time to time. He signed on, albeit unexpectedly, as your personal trainer, and there will be ways you can coach him as well during your life together.

we always talk things out... good for us we love eachother or definatly would be different. You are very right about the "american ears" so true... i have been concious of it over the years but i guess i relaxed a bit... anyway thanks ladies.... you're always there for me!

[nunyab 0]

OK...I am right there with ya! BOOTCAMP! I am getting up in the morning and going to the trail before work......Think ROCKY LOL....Thanks for the thread RAJ we can do it! Well be totally Hot! (I don't like MILF..but if I did...we'll be MILF's ) OMG my daughter just told me she is pregnant does that make me a GILF? ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

OK

i know i am not over weight but i am not what i like to be he knows i am better when i exercise and martini olive i amthe same way. This visa process and work and single mom but you know there is no reason why i can't take an hour go to the club house and move my butt... it is Soooo on!!

a GILF tooo funny that might stick you know????

[Nothing1234 2]

OK...I am right there with ya! BOOTCAMP! I am getting up in the morning and going to the trail before work......Think ROCKY LOL....Thanks for the thread RAJ we can do it! Well be totally Hot! (I don't like MILF..but if I did...we'll be MILF's ) OMG my daughter just told me she is pregnant does that make me a GILF? ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

OK

i know i am not over weight but i am not what i like to be he knows i am better when i exercise and martini olive i amthe same way. This visa process and work and single mom but you know there is no reason why i can't take an hour go to the club house and move my butt... it is Soooo on!!

GILF

[S and S 12]

OK...I am right there with ya! BOOTCAMP! I am getting up in the morning and going to the trail before work......Think ROCKY LOL....Thanks for the thread RAJ we can do it! Well be totally Hot! (I don't like MILF..but if I did...we'll be MILF's ) OMG my daughter just told me she is pregnant does that make me a GILF? ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

OK

i know i am not over weight but i am not what i like to be he knows i am better when i exercise and martini olive i amthe same way. This visa process and work and single mom but you know there is no reason why i can't take an hour go to the club house and move my butt... it is Soooo on!!

I knew a woman who was 32 years old when she became a granma. Though she herself was a young mom, she is married and has been working a great job since she was 19 at a hospital. Nothing bad about her at all and I think she looks great. She is 38 years old now and has 2 grandchildren.

[~~~water~~~ 0]

Well from your pics I always think you are so pretty....

Well from your pics I always think you are so pretty.... I don't think you need to change at all

[Aymsgirl 0]

I just found out what a MILF is!!! LOL now a GILF...you are so funny

[nunyab 0]

Thanks Water and Martni... i am still giggling over that

[Imua 0]

Ha, my hubby and I had a similar misunderstanding last year - I said I was going to start going back to the gym and wanted to lose some weight - he said 'that's good'... I took it the wrong way and was really hurt until he said he didn't mean that I needed to lose weight, just that exercise is good...whatever.... Men are so clueless in general about women's weight and it can be such a minefield to talk about, hard to sort out concerns for health from 'does he think I'm attractive?'. As for myself I would be concerned if G gained a lot of weight since his father was recently diagnosed with diabetes and recent research shows that S. Asians are more susceptible to it than other groups, they do not need to be that overweight in order for diabetes to develop. A little padding is OK but I told Govi someday I want to do the Annapurna Circuit AND Everest Base Camp treks and he had better be able to keep up with me, LOL...

[Imua 0]

I just found out what a MILF is!!! LOL now a GILF...you are so funny

Just watch American Pie - I think that's where the term MILF started, LOL...

[AlHayatZween 2]

when we talk health i tell him i will walk more when he stops smokeing you would be surprised how fast the subject changes

[MrsAmera 41]

Hmm interesting post. I would love to lose some weight (I know my husband would love it to), but I really can't figure out when I would have time to get to the gym. I work 40 hrs a week, go to grad school part time, have a preschooler to work with and a 2 yr old. Yea right. I don't get enough sleep, exercise is sorta outta the question. We've implemented a new diet plan however so hopefully that might help.

My husband is more direct than any of the comments I've read so far. But we've been together for almost 5 years now so there's not much sense in beating around the bush. He's also said that he wouldn't want to "feel my bones" so now it's just achieving a happy medium.

[venusfire503 54]

Yeah, it took me a little while to get used my my husband's straight up comments. I think it's just a 'translation' kind of thing - different ways of talking. Anyway, it's nice in a way to not have to guess what a man really means! I keep in mind that he's not being rude, just not sugar coating things or putting them as gently as some others might. Also, he's really sweet to me in general, so I know he's not being a jerk to me. It's just his way of talking. Still, I have occasionally let him know (nicely) that sometimes he's a little TOO honest and blunt... I've definitely gotten more immune to it. And it's really nice to be able to be straight-forward with him too; although I make sure to preface my statements with something like "I'm not trying to be mean" or "I don't want to upset you" - and he's been doing the same for me.

[sereia 0]

I always have to remind my husband about tact.