I need advice

[kpark 0]

I need some sage advice..

First I've met a truly wonderful woman in Nanning, and have decided to marry her. I'm planning on and will propose most likely in Feb '09. When I go there to meet her and her family.. Here are the hiccups.

Recently after read some things on this site, I was relating to her some of the stories that I had read here. The next day she wrote me and told me that in the past she had tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005. Both were failures because the visas were refused because one had no job, and the other had gotten visa for a PI and never married her.

She had no interest in going thorough that process again, until she met me. In reading the I-129f form and instructions the other day, I found the part on section 3 that asks about criminal background.

When my ex-wife and I were getting divorced, my x turned mean in an attempt to help her get custody of our son. She made a scene in a public place, and and was successful in getting charges of DV and disorderly conduct filed on me. They were dismissed, so I was never "convicted" but the fact remains that I had charges on my record, (though it has been expunged). Seven years later my x and I have an amicable relationship. And she has said that she would say that I am a good man.

I've told my sweetheart the whole story of what happened and she does not see it as a problem. However I don't want her to pin her hopes of getting married, and then having it fall apart like the last two and being hurt. And I would be heartbroken if a malicious attempt by someone in my past killed my prospects for a happy future with a truly amazing woman.

So questions are these;

1. Will her two prior visa (k-1) attempts hinder our future now, or our applying for a K-3 or K-1 visa?

2. Will what happened seven years ago screw up my end of getting a visa from my end?

3. Which would better to go for a K-1 or K-3 visa?

[pushbrk 12,824]

I need some sage advice..

First I've met a truly wonderful woman in Nanning, and have decided to marry her. I'm planning on and will propose most likely in Feb '09. When I go there to meet her and her family.. Here are the hiccups.

Recently after read some things on this site, I was relating to her some of the stories that I had read here. The next day she wrote me and told me that in the past she had tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005. Both were failures because the visas were refused because one had no job, and the other had gotten visa for a PI and never married her.

She had no interest in going thorough that process again, until she met me. In reading the I-129f form and instructions the other day, I found the part on section 3 that asks about criminal background.

When my ex-wife and I were getting divorced, my x turned mean in an attempt to help her get custody of our son. She made a scene in a public place, and and was successful in getting charges of DV and disorderly conduct filed on me. They were dismissed, so I was never "convicted" but the fact remains that I had charges on my record, (though it has been expunged). Seven years later my x and I have an amicable relationship. And she has said that she would say that I am a good man.

I've told my sweetheart the whole story of what happened and she does not see it as a problem. However I don't want her to pin her hopes of getting married, and then having it fall apart like the last two and being hurt. And I would be heartbroken if a malicious attempt by someone in my past killed my prospects for a happy future with a truly amazing woman.

So questions are these;

1. Will her two prior visa (k-1) attempts hinder our future now, or our applying for a K-3 or K-1 visa?

2. Will what happened seven years ago screw up my end of getting a visa from my end?

3. Which would better to go for a K-1 or K-3 visa?

1. Probably, yes. You may eventually be successful but your bona fides will be closely scrutinized.

2. Not at all. It won't come up, since you weren't convicted.

3. In your case, I'd recommend a CR1 visa after marriage in China. It would probably be best if you married on your second visit.

Her earlier attempts will be HUGE red flags. The best way to overcome those red flags is with visits. We married on the first visit and went the K3 route but didn't have the red flags you have. The best evidence of bona fides is time together. I wouldn't add the first visit marriage red flags to the ones you already have. A previous attempt is a red flag. Two is a severe escallation of red.

I would suggest a first visit during or after which you decide about marriage. If yes, marry on the second visit, make another between then and the interview and then be present in the building when she interviews. With all that, you will probably overcome the assumption the relationship is being entered into for immigration benefit only.

[Dr Mirage 0]

pushbrk is right, but most importantly, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

[pushbrk 12,824]

pushbrk is right, but most importantly, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

The OP didn't ask for relationship advice. Let's stay on topic.

[Dakine 26]

pushbrk is right, but most importantly, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

The OP didn't ask for relationship advice. Let's stay on topic.

Maybe a bit off topic but it's a point to consider. COs will look at her as someone wanting a free ride to the US. As pushbrk implied evidence of a bona fide relationship will be scrutinize BIGTIME!

Edited September 27, 2008 by Haole

[Dr Mirage 0]

I applologize for going off topic on my previous post. But here is my advise:

1. Its difficult to say, but do not be surprised if USCIS sends a request for further evidence of your relationship. I would travel to see your fiance as much.

2. I don't think that will be a problem.

3. CR-1 best. K-3 second.

pushbrk is right, but most importantly, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

The OP didn't ask for relationship advice. Let's stay on topic.

[pushbrk 12,824]

pushbrk is right, but most importantly, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

The OP didn't ask for relationship advice. Let's stay on topic.

Maybe a bit off topic but it's a point to consider. COs will look at her as someone wanting a free ride to the US. As pushbrk implied evidence of a bona fide relationship will be scrutinize BIGTIME!

Yes, the CO will question the relationship bigtime but that's not for us to do. We're here to help people have success with immigration. The success of the relationship is an entirely different matter, not for any visa forum unless specifically asked.

[tallcoolone 102]

, are you sure you want to go with marrying someone who also tried to marry two other Americans on in 2003 and 2005.

I think you should really think twice. Its already a few strikes before you.

I believe you can apply for the K-1, K-3 as many times as you can.

Recommend you to go see a lawyer about this. My 2 cents.

Great Advice

That's exactly what I was thinking.

Looks like to me she is just trying to get a ticket to the USA.

Be Careful

[chris4gretchen 1]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

[pushbrk 12,824]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

Right, all this judgmental ####### is out of line. Sure, the Consular Officer has a job to do and will want to closely scrutinize the bona fides. This is to be expected but that's the Conoff's job, not ours.

[kpark 0]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

Thanks and congrats on you upcoming child. Being a parent is most the rewarding experience that one can have.

I found it disappointing that I came here asking advice on a visa issue and got advice on my relationship mostly. I don't sense deceit from Hiawen, she seem to me as wanting nothing more than wanting someone that will marry her and spend the rest of our lives together.

It's what she said in her profile and the 261 letters that we have sent back and forth to each other, or the 4.5 hrs that we just spent talking to each other today. That tells me other wise, When I sent her a copy of the posts that I recieved. She was apoilgetic for, and feeling very sorry what happened with the two prior Americans. But like Sheaksphere put it "in love what fools we mortals are". She didn't persue them they persued her. And the fact that she took years between them, impresses to me that she wasn't out for a visa. If she had told me that she had tried to get married twice within the last two years that would be different.

I could be jaded and untrusting after being jilted by one wife and lied to by a girlfriend. But I'm an optimist, I must believe that there is still good in this world. That I know that the way to true love sometimes is never an easy one. And that to open my heart to someone requires trust on my part. Not long after I met Hiawen I deleted my profile, and told her what I had done within a day she did too. I think that if she was just looking for a ticket to the US she wouldn't have done that. She had also recieved many responses to her profile from other American men, for a month before I met her and didn't write them back. She just felt my letter and profile touched her heart and responded, and we have written or been in contact with each other each every day since then, and talked live for hours on the weekends. Which tells me that there is something different here.

Again thank you for your support,

KFP

[kpark 0]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

Right, all this judgmental ####### is out of line. Sure, the Consular Officer has a job to do and will want to closely scrutinize the bona fides. This is to be expected but that's the Conoff's job, not ours.

Since I've never done this before. What are these "bona fides" that the consular will look at?

[pushbrk 12,824]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

Right, all this judgmental ####### is out of line. Sure, the Consular Officer has a job to do and will want to closely scrutinize the bona fides. This is to be expected but that's the Conoff's job, not ours.

Since I've never done this before. What are these "bona fides" that the consular will look at?

I mean they'll evaluate whether your relationship is a real marriage instead of one entered into only for immigration benefits. Visits/time together is the most powerful form of evidence. There's lots of discussion here already on the subject of evidence of bona fides. Time to bone up.

[Dakine 26]

I find it interesting that posters here can deduce that someone is looking for a ticket to the USA based on filings from years ago and years apart. The woman didnt file, and she states the Men werent successful. Obviously the "MEN" didnt want to move to China for "the love of their life" whom they proposed to and filed for. So what is she supposed to do? Give up on finding a married life with someone?

There are many cases on Visajourney that have previous filings or serious LDR's in their past that werent successful. For the posters spouting their opinion on the woman, i am glad you got lucky on your first filing and first LDR. Many are not that lucky.

Chris

Right, all this judgmental ####### is out of line. Sure, the Consular Officer has a job to do and will want to closely scrutinize the bona fides. This is to be expected but that's the Conoff's job, not ours.

Since I've never done this before. What are these "bona fides" that the consular will look at?

Different kinds of evidence showing you have a bona fide [real] relationship.

Trip records, communication records, photos with her and you, you, her and her family etc.

Your "job" is to do one better than the fraudulent petitions.

More ammo the better!

Edited September 29, 2008 by Haole