StepParent

[penn-kd 0]

Thanks everyone for all the help!

[sly_wolf 199]

Something else to consider down the road ..... I believe that once a child turns 14, they can decide for themselves where they want to stay. Something to look into.

Hope all goes well for you.

Sly.

[penn-kd 0]

Something else to consider down the road ..... I believe that once a child turns 14, they can decide for themselves where they want to stay. Something to look into.

Hope all goes well for you.

Sly.

That scares me! Because at her mothers she tries to be a friend instead of a parent. So inturn the daughter gets do what she wants and when she wants. At our house we are a little on the strict side. She is the one that is teaching her so many wrong things.

1) She dresses her in skimpy things-You hope there won't be problems with the wrong kind of attention

2) She lives with and has a baby with a married man

3) She takes advantage of the welfare system- She is very capable of working but chooses not to.

4) She just had her plate taken away for 3 months for not having insurance

5) She has so many people help her so why can't I help him.

6) Boyfriend has temper and punches holes in wall

7) boyfriend cheats on her but I guess is already cheating on his wife

I don't have a problem with her but look at all the things she is teaching her daughter. Yes I know that she can do what she wants on her week and I guess as long as it doesn't put harm to the child it is fine. Boy this is so frustrating!

[MissStacey 1]

Those are definitely some serious issues. Unfortunately you can't control everything that happens when she is with her mother.

All you can do is love her and be a good role model to her. Hopefully as she grows she will learn to make good choices in life.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

Something else to consider down the road ..... I believe that once a child turns 14, they can decide for themselves where they want to stay. Something to look into.

Hope all goes well for you.

Sly.

varies state to state. worth checking into though.

[KarenCee 3]

If the agreement is for an amount of time that would include overnights, then he will have to decide if he wants to enforce it. He might have to take it to family court if his ex cannot see reason. As to the things you listed that this child is exposed to, again her father will have to make the complaint with the Dept of Family and Children's Services (some states call it Child Protective Services) and let them handle it...if it can be proven that this child is in an unfit environment or one that could possibly endanger her, then he would have a legal right to apply for sole physical custody. I believe if this were my situation as the parent I would have already retained a family law attorney and at least asked what my rights are.

As for you having any rights...I'm sorry to say that you don't. My husband is my daughter's stepfather. Even though he is more of a father than her biological father, he hasn't any rights when it comes to custody. You could definitely search for the child custody laws of your state to find out when she would be legally able to decide where and with whom she wishes to live with.

I feel for you hon...I have the ex from Hades. He has never been civil to my husband and has tried so freaking hard to turn my daughter against my husband. Fortunately I have a very intelligent child and she knows her stepfather does indeed love her and wants to be a part of her life. My ex parades woman after woman through her life...but until he does something that would endanger her or puts her in an unfit environment there's not a damn thing I can do about the women. Believe me, I watch her like a hawk and I listen to everything she says...even what she might not be saying, if that makes sense.

I know as badly as you want to do something proactive for this child, the only thing you CAN do is be a positive person in her life. Let her know you love her. That will go a very long way for children of divorced parents. Best of luck to you both.

[penn-kd 0]

Thanks so much everyone!

[merijan 0]

Something else to consider down the road ..... I believe that once a child turns 14, they can decide for themselves where they want to stay. Something to look into.

Hope all goes well for you.

Sly.

That scares me! Because at her mothers she tries to be a friend instead of a parent. So inturn the daughter gets do what she wants and when she wants. At our house we are a little on the strict side. She is the one that is teaching her so many wrong things.

1) She dresses her in skimpy things-You hope there won't be problems with the wrong kind of attention

2) She lives with and has a baby with a married man

3) She takes advantage of the welfare system- She is very capable of working but chooses not to.

4) She just had her plate taken away for 3 months for not having insurance

5) She has so many people help her so why can't I help him.

6) Boyfriend has temper and punches holes in wall

7) boyfriend cheats on her but I guess is already cheating on his wife

I don't have a problem with her but look at all the things she is teaching her daughter. Yes I know that she can do what she wants on her week and I guess as long as it doesn't put harm to the child it is fine. Boy this is so frustrating!

With my previous marriage to the father of my three kids, I was the step parent of his daughter. His ex was a mess also. She had kids taken twice from her by CPS. I used to be frustrated to, however I learned to step back because it did me no good to get worked up about her. Just be the best parent you can for your step child. And you may have a good influence on her. My step daughter is now 21 and I saw her recently after searching for her online, I havent seen her for 6 years. It was a great visit. She turned out ok after all.