Where is chispas???

[Perseverance 1]

Has anyone heen her?? Maybe I am just not on here enough, but I have not seen her??

[LovinLiberia 0]

Now that you mention it...she has been M.I.A. lately.

[Zee Bee 61]

She has been missing lately

[Perseverance 1]

I hope everything is ok....when was the last time anyone saw her???

[Ta Ta 1]

I have to email her.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Hey Hey Hey!! She was closing out school............but I don't know what happened after that. Now, I recall that she posted from school. Does she have a computer at home?

Hope she drops by soon.

[Ta Ta 1]

I emailed her but no answer

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I emailed her but no answer

Tell that girl that she is missed!

[Ta Ta 1]

I did

[Truth be Told 0]

Hellooooo people are asking for you....

[Perseverance 1]

I know I saw her yesterday...

CHISPAS COME BACK WE MISS YOU!!!

[stevi1123 0]

I miss your insightful posts. Hope you come back.

[Truth be Told 0]

[Asante Maroon 0]

You're killing me, Petey!

[chispas 0]

Hola Ladies. Como están todas? Thank a million, trillion, billion you all for asking how I am doing. I'm doing well right now after falling into that dark place called "stress". I have had some challenges and disappointments these past weeks, so I was neither able nor thinking straight enough to post. Mostly I want to say that it was those who called and pm-ed me who helped cheer me up today. So many thanks to some "crazy sistas in love and the Lord" because I really needed that boost to at least climb that first step out of my funk.

Just a little recap about what those challenges were:

1. Some of you know that I put off buying a house until my SO arrived here in 2005. So I rented. When he arrived the money went out the window. (Too many details here) That landlord lost her own house so she basically asked us to leave her house. (Us the kids and I) Imagine looking for a place here in Caly where every other foreclosed person is looking too. That was stressful as the long lost SO's credit kept popping up with mine so it took a lot of work to convince landlords not to look at his and get letters to prove it would be the kids and I. The old Landlord kept 4500 (I paid the last month by mistake) and gave back nothing. Now we have small claims court.

2. I broke my toe during the move and did the rest of the move with the broken toe.

3. Doctor said my kidney was shutting down and bladder was not "synergizing" with the other organs. (I have MS)

4. Had to start sticking a tube up my coochie in order to pee.

5. While moving the SO came and took as much stuff as he wanted including paperwork and tools. He also took my palm pilot with my addresses on it. He likes to send letters to my friends and employers telling them horror stories about me and the kids. (This was the threat if I didn't help remove conditions but he did it anyway)

6. The neighbors saw us moving by ourselves so they gathered to help us. As luck would have it I find out one of them is friends with the gossipy secretary at my school, so you know my business was out there.

7. Still didn't have a place so stuff went into storage.

8. Slept on the floor a few days until finding a place.

9. IRS lets me know that the SO claimed 99 dependents in 2006 and 2007 so no taxes were taken out of his checks. They want me to pay the 8,000 owed for 2006 since it was joint filing.

10. (For 2007 ) My kids, in trying to help out, earned too much money for me to claim them on my 2007 taxes so I am more screwed for that year. They are both in college.

11. More accounting and lawyer help needed.

12. In the meantime they blood pressure is raising and can't get under control. New meds.

13. Found a place paying more for less room and slept on the floor until stuff could be delivered.

14. Set up computer and find that the program to monitor key strokes and email is still on the computer, so I don't dare use it because SO might still be monitoring my every move. At least he doesn't know where I live, I think, so he can't reinstall cameras and audio devices in the home or car.

15.I signed up to teach summer school and couldn't get out of it, but need the money so came to school and faked being mentally present every day.

16. Fell into that funk

17. Trying to climb out of it.

18. Still climbing.......

19. Forgot to mention back in number 5. SO has a diagnosed mental problem. Paranoia is just one aspect of it and he is off his medication. He says he's cured and I paid the police and doctors to file false reports about him.

20. Had to use the polygraph test I took to show that the accusations he was making against me were false and that I have been telling the truth about his behavior and the attacks on us. I keep it handy in case the police show up at my door again.

So here I am thankful to God that I have VJ brothers and sisters who won't judge me for falling in love with an SO with

organic issues and who actually know the added pain this brings. I am thankful to have VJers who have blazed through a similar path as mine so that I know when to duck and when to dodge that arrow that flies out of nowhere. I thank God for VJers in Sub Sah who are brave and willing to extend a hand when I fall.

I think of it this way. There are support groups everywhere in the US for AA, over eaters, shopaholics, OCD, and every ill in society. All we have to do is look in the yellow pages or Google it. I like to think of VJers as being that "online" support group for me.

Thanks "Gente" for looking out for me during this terrible time.

Chispas