I got dumped!

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I shared Charles thought... I really wanted to look at that photo again for the hidden meaning too. From what I remember, it looked normal to me.

i see you took the pictures down from your profile. someone commented on them earlier and i wanted to see what that poster was talking about regarding them.

unfortunately, scammers abound in this deal, they are more than happy to take your money and leave you in the dust. however, there is a silver lining to this, believe it or not. she could have gone through with things and decided to beat feet after the 2 year or 10 year green card, and you'd have a lot more money, time, and emotion down the drain, along with being on the hook for the affidavit of support for god knows how long.

as slim posted, there are many women out there that are honest and willing. give it another shot and may the visa be with you.

[DARUMA07 25]

Irish,

Keep your head up! There is a risk that we all take in finding our lives partner. Don't give up finding that special woman for you. She is out there somewhere. Take some time off and gather your thoughts. Your Heart will mend in time.... Good luck to you!!!

[mox 298]

Sorry I'm a little late to the table...Irish...man. I'm so sorry to hear about this. This is such a tough process. There are minefields everywhere, and even the "veterans" will tell you that a lot of it just boils down to luck. There seems to be some speculation as to whether you were "scammed" or if she was ever serious, or whatever, and that's probably going to hang over your head for a long time. You will probably never know the whole truth. Don't let it eat you up though, because in the end, it is what it is. Focus on moving on.

I'm not one of those who believe that things happen for a reason...I just think shiт happens. So take some time to experience and move through all the emotions that go along with this kind of #######, and go from there. Don't jump back in until you're ready, and hell, you may never be ready for it again.

Satellite, someone needs to kick you in the teeth. Seriously. STFU until you can act like a human being.

[mendeleev 68]

Irish44,

What to say. This is a very sad time. Past that, Mox and other have thoughts I echo. Its hard to tell on this sort of forum -- but I hope there are people around you to talk with about this.

And Satellite, I remember a time when I didn't find your comments contemptable -- but that was quite a while ago.

[warriorprincess 0]

I am sorry this happened to you but maybe it was for the best. Better she left now than 2 or 5 years down the road when you would have investmented so much more into your relationship. There is always a bright side to all this. Maybe she developed a conscious and that's why she backed out.

[Blues Fairy 0]

The fact is that this was a scam. She took the $600.00 I sent her for the Moscow tickets and, no surprise, won't return it. She said that it was a birthday present!

Doesn't look like a scam to me. But good riddance anyway, and good for you that you haven't brought her to the U.S. Try not to feel too embittered; after all, not every relationship workes out and it's especially true of long-distance endeavors where people barely have time to get to know each other. Next time, make sure you take more time!

[Satellite 1]

Sat,

That is a new all time low for you. Nuff said.

And Satellite, I remember a time when I didn't find your comments contemptable -- but that was quite a while ago.

Satellite, someone needs to kick you in the teeth. Seriously. STFU until you can act like a human being.

Oh, of course, the censors are out again.

Since when did saying "I'm sorry for you" become a more valued opinion than "its not a total loss", perhaps you finally got laid and a hot woman paid attention to you for one year for $600. Most people pay a lot more for that kind of attention. At least we are all in agreement in wishing the man the best of luck in his next endeavor at love.

Edited June 15, 2008 by Satellite

[Bobalouie 0]

Sat,

That is a new all time low for you. Nuff said.

And Satellite, I remember a time when I didn't find your comments contemptable -- but that was quite a while ago.

Satellite, someone needs to kick you in the teeth. Seriously. STFU until you can act like a human being.

Oh, of course, the censors are out again.

Since when did saying "I'm sorry for you" become a more valued opinion than "its not a total loss", perhaps you finally got laid and a hot woman paid attention to you for one year for $600. Most people pay a lot more for that kind of attention. At least we are all in agreement in wishing the man the best of luck in his next endeavor at love.

It has nothing to do with censorship you idiot. It has to do with normal behavior. "The "perhaps you finally got laid" and "a hot woman paid attention to you" is condesending and in general a sh@tty thing to say to someone in this situation. You made a big deal out of passing the bar on this site. Your inability to engage your freaking brain before you put your mouth (or fingers) into gear is really showing alot about your common sense, and should tell us just how hard that test really is. You may know law, but you dont know sh@t about common sense. You are a POS of the first order. Im with mox, sit down, have a nice big cup of STFU and think for a while before you speak. I have a feeling that you are not like this in 'real life' and that your 'cyber personality' is an act, because if you really say the stupid ####### you say to people in real life, you would probably have a much different attitude.

[akdiver 3]

It has nothing to do with censorship

Normal people don't get all bent out of shape over a freakin' post on an internet forum. If you don't like the post, don't read it. If you don't like the poster, put him in your ignore list. But to go on and on insulting the guy because you disagree with his sentiments is no better than the behavior you're complaining about.

By the way, it used to be "common sense" that black people are inferior to white people. Of course, to some people, it still is. The phrase, "common sense" has got to be one of the most over-used, dumbest and most meaningless phrases in the English language. The argument of "its common sense" is the argument of last resort - when you have nothing more substantial to argue with.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Edited June 15, 2008 by akdiver

[Corey-Mariya 14]

It has nothing to do with censorship

Normal people don't get all bent out of shape over a freakin' post on an internet forum. If you don't like the post, don't read it. If you don't like the poster, put him in your ignore list. But to go on and on insulting the guy because you disagree with his sentiments is no better than the behavior you're complaining about.

By the way, it used to be "common sense" that black people are inferior to white people. Of course, to some people, it still is. The phrase, "common sense" has got to be one of the most over-used, dumbest and most meaningless phrases in the English language. The argument of "its common sense" is the argument of last resort - when you have nothing more substantial to argue with.

Cheers!

AKDiver

Actually i think Satelite does this because he lacks attention! And when he makes these post he wants people to argue with him it adds fuel to his fire! SO i think if we just ignore him the problem will be solved

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

It simply called sensitivity and respect for fellow human beings...

[MrsCat 6]

Irish,

I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Matters of the heart are always difficult - add space and time and things become almost impossible. Your story is true for many of us - that this process is trying and difficult - some with more devastating events than others.

I had not seen your profile until today's post, so I will leave what your fiancee's intentions were out of this post, as I do not have any knowledge of your relationship.

You sound sad, angry, confused, upset. While those are all exceptionally uncomfortable feelings - they are feelings that help you grow as a person. You sound like a genuine and caring person and these are qualities which I am certain will remain despite these turn of events. Soon, you'll find peace, happiness and love again once those uncomfortable feelings have passed. This is a time to vent, reflect, question and seek compassion. You've already been able to do some of those things, which makes me certain that your heart was in that relationship 100%. Your posts have been factual without being demeaning to the other party, which reflects amazingly on your character. If it needs saying then here goes: that makes you a very good person. I have no doubt that someone will see that light in your heart and soul in the future.

Unlike some friendships in life - the VJ family is bound by one common bond - distance, space and time - something that I am sure no one else quite understands. This makes it a completely appropriate place for you to seek solace, caring, wisdom and compassion.

My heart goes out to you.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

It has nothing to do with censorship

Normal people don't get all bent out of shape over a freakin' post on an internet forum. If you don't like the post, don't read it. If you don't like the poster, put him in your ignore list. But to go on and on insulting the guy because you disagree with his sentiments is no better than the behavior you're complaining about.

ita

[A_I_S 0]

I don't think this was a scam. What probably happened is that she got tired of waiting, met someone else and decided to stay. You got off too light if it was a scam. Commodity prices in Russia are the same as they are in the US (and I'm not talking about just Moscow or StP) so $600 buys you almost nothing.

As for political correctness police...so you don't like that someone said what they thought? So Satelite is not a sensitive person, there's no laws against that. Do you people honestly believe random strangers / coworkers / someone you barely know care about your day or what's up? At least his was an honest, although insensitive, remark. Don't get all bent out of shape.

[irish44 0]

I don't think this was a scam. What probably happened is that she got tired of waiting, met someone else and decided to stay. You got off too light if it was a scam. Commodity prices in Russia are the same as they are in the US (and I'm not talking about just Moscow or StP) so $600 buys you almost nothing.

As for political correctness police...so you don't like that someone said what they thought? So Satelite is not a sensitive person, there's no laws against that. Do you people honestly believe random strangers / coworkers / someone you barely know care about your day or what's up? At least his was an honest, although insensitive, remark. Don't get all bent out of shape.

A couple of things. First of all Sat's comments were just Sat being Sat, and did not bother me as much as you think..Yes it was inappropriate and foul to me, but it's part of being on the internet.

Secondly, when I asked her for the money back she said no as she considered it a "Birthday Present" (which was two months ago and I had already sent her a present.) She wanted $3,500 to go to Moscow for the first interview date and I said no. As has been discussed, this is an absolutely outrageous amount and shocked the hell out of me. The red flags went up big time as you can imagine so I took control of the bookings myself.

She said that the rescheduling was fine with her as she was very nervous. At the end when she blew me off she said I was "mean" for not giving her all of that money!

So with that information, let's have a vote. Is she:

1) Misunderstood?

2) Slightly High Maintenance?

3) Extremely High Maintenance?

4) Scammer?

Thank you all again for you notes and support. Believe me that I am very happy that it did not go farther for whatever reason.

As someone said on this thread.. S*it happens.

I do feel bad about her 13yo daughter Alina, who would sit on her suitcase and ask "When are we going?".

Cheers.

Edited June 17, 2008 by irish44