anything i can do to stop my wife?

[siga 0]

ok guys, this is one of these sad endings that i never thought i will go thru ...i did all the steps to bring my wife overseas ...and after living here and having a baby, i found out she was cheating, and the only reason she married me is to come here to the states and see her lover...this was 7 months ago ..now,i got the divorce from state now and custody

(she left with me and never asked about all these 7 months)..at first i asked a lawyer what i can do to take her 10 year green card away, he said i advice u not to do anything, because they may think (home land sec) that it was all a setup marriage..so i didnt do anything, after a month i thought of calling the ins, and asked them if i can do anything, the lady said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it...now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?i would be thankful for any help...

[IrieCat 2]

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.

I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

[NickD 202]

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.

I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

Not too hard to believe, but found it hard to believe she got pregnant with your child, suppose you went through a DNA check to be sure. Makes a guy want to stay single from the fairer sex, those gals that marry only to get a divorce and cream you in the process, especially if they get real interested in your assets early on. Always subtle things to watch out for and prey on your ego to what a such great guy you are. Some are very quick to jump into bed, the worse kind to watch out for. A lot like our politicians that already know what to say to get elected, but a different story once they are in.

I-751 doesn't help, spouse can claim abuse or hardships and still stay here, probably wouldn't say they gave you money to come here, they would get deported while you go to jail. And if you pursue this matter with the USCIS, can easily backfire, in cases like this it is the word of one person against the others and guess who the courts love to favor especially when they get on the stand and cry like a baby.

If you feel you were cheated and have good proof and an attorney, can sue her for the expenses you encountered. Really nice to hear about another guy that custody of his children, that is also rare. Think back about any subtle or nuances that may have occurred when you first met her and watch out of those next time, if there is a next time. I was darn sure about this one, but still gave it a couple of years before tying the knot.

[siga 0]

thanks for your kind words..its not a matter of revenge , its a matter of legal status, i dont want to her to become citizen and bring her family because of me, i dont..thanks again for your knd words, my baby is my life...

[siga 0]

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.

I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

thats what scares me that it will backfire on me....

[maztec 0]

thanks for your kind words..its not a matter of revenge , its a matter of legal status, i dont want to her to become citizen and bring her family because of me, i dont..thanks again for your knd words, my baby is my life...

Forget about it and don't be an ###. Do you really want your kid to be deported, with your wife, to wherever she is from? That is possible and has happened.

Sure, she used you - then again, maybe she didn't. If she had a kid with you, it's possible she wasn't using you. Maybe this attitude of yours now, is a reflection of things you said or did or had an attitude about during the relationship - which led her to hook up with an old flame? Why wouldn't she have married the old flame instead? Unless the old flame was an LPR, but even then she could have waited.

It just is not worth it, to either of you.

Not to mention, she is a woman, no matter what she does all she has to do is scream VAWA. Once she does that, she could quite likely get your visitation privileges of your child taken away. Do you really want that to happen? She has a trump card, your child, if you want your child - you don't want her to claim you have abused her and claim VAWA. If you don't mind the risk of losing the child, you can become Federal Evidence against her Naturalization Petition.

She does not need your signature for the Naturalization Petition. She needs nothing from you for it.

The only thing you could do is write a letter, containing all evidence - including her A# and other documents, to CIS to be included with her file - and inform them that you have discovered that, even though you loved her and married her with the intent of having a bona fide marriage, she did not love you and did not have that intent. That she was using you to gain immigration status, bring her family, and move on. Even then, that sounds flimsy. You would have to have some pretty damning evidence to show that. And then, all she has to say is, "I said that out of anger, because he is an #######." Claim VAWA if they try to take your petition away, and you're screwed.

Forget about it.

[LV Couple 0]

I can understand how you feel and it's easy for me to sit hear and type this. But I would let it go. I also do believe that eventually people will get what they deserve. She's going to someone who either helped her planned this or agreed to her doing this to you. What kind of person is this. He could easily use her in the future or she use him. Let these people fight the wars between themselves. As hard as it may be, just use this as something to learn from and let it help you be a better person.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am sorry that this happened to you. If she has her 10 year card already then you have done what you can - reported it to USCIS and provided them with the information. Regarding citizenship, she is able to file on her own but not yet. Since she is no longer married to the American citizen through whom she got her permanent resident status she needs to wait until she has been a Permanent Resident for 5 years before she is eligible to apply. It will probably take about another year for processing and approval, if she is approved. When she submits her application USCIS will definitely look very closely at her and that is when the information about her apparent immigration fraud that you sent to them will be scrutinized. If they do find that she did indeed abuse the immigration system, then she will be denied citizenship and possibly deported. The thing is, you will probably never know one way or the other. Enjoy your child and recognize that something good (your child) remains even though the marriage itself was flawed. Good luck.

Edited June 12, 2008 by Kathryn41

[siga 0]

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.

I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

thats what scares me that it will backfire on me....

let me tell something thank you for reading and replying, but i didnt ask you to tell me y she left and its not your business...all i was asking for was a way for me to stop her, if there was any, and i think the sad part there is not..that all i needed to know, i dont need you to figure out what happened, i know exactly what happened ...and my baby is with me with full legal and physical custody and she does not want here and never asked about her..so thats the most important thing for me...thanks anyway for your reply...

[siga 0]

sorry LV Couple ..my response was for maztec..

[Gulskjegg 0]

I cant see how it could possibly backfire on you. You have custody and the divorce is final. The only one that stands to lose is her, even more so in light of the fact you did get custody. That's like only a 10% chance for the father. If it were me I would do all I could to get her deported. Its not like they can deport your or the child. And they cant sue you or anything.

[NickD 202]

Siga said:

the lady (USCIS?) said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it.

So if he does send in all the information, that is up to the USCIS to decide her fate, if any.

Siga asks:

now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?

For the three year, she has to prove she is still married and living with you, after a divorce, you would be lying to agree to help her. For the five year, she doesn't need you.

This is a highly emotional issue and depending on your state or even country, a divorce gives your spouse a license to steal with the attorneys getting a big hunk of your hard earned cashed. In my state, they favor the woman, in my wife's country, even though we can prove he never contributed to his family or the property, he left her country? But he still is entitled to half of everything she worked hard and paid for. Her country treats the divorce separate from the liquidation. She took care of the divorce, but left the liquidation go. Since we registered our marriage in her country, I have a say in this matter, so took the pressure off my wife and I deal with this guy directly. Property after seven years is still sitting there, but we are paying the taxes and maintenance on it. Has to be settled in court and he doesn't have a dime to go to court. I have plenty of money, but why should I settle so he gets half of everything, so I just let it sit. Does that make me a bad guy? Not in my opinion, he can take it to court anytime he wishes. Wife gets upset about this, but we have plenty here, so why bother?

Wife gets upset because she worked for years to pay her properties off, but I showed my settlement, I got nailed five times as much as she did. Just glad to get rid of my ex. We don't talk about this very much, just spend most of our time being happy with each other, but still in the background.

But it is an emotional issue.

[warpedbored 0]

Actually it would be in your best interests if she did become a US citizen. She is already a LPR with a ten year green card so there is nothing you can do to have her deported. Her becoming a US citizen is one of the very few ways you can get off the hook for the I-864. Regardless whether she remarries or not you are still legally bound to insure she doesn't become a burden on the state for 10 years. I understand that you are bitter but revenge doesn't help anyone.

[NickD 202]

Was going to also ask about the I-864, is Sega still liable for it even after his divorce? Would be a door left open for his ex to cream him.

[motu 5]

siga - consider a few things - you can't do too much at this point to help or hinder her (you already sent USCIS the info suggesting fraudulent marriage); your child's mother is linked to you because you had a child together. No matter how bad she is or isn't, the baby should have a relationship with the mother (thank you Dr. Phil) or she may blame you for not letting her/him have a mother the rest of their lives. Do not dwell on what bad stuff she had done or how you are the victim or the need for revenge for this - instead focus on the good things - you have a loving child; you are no longer with a bad/fraudulent person; you have the rest of your life to find someone better.

Please send a check for $5,000 as a retainer for these sessions. Good Luck