Comfort

[bailey402 0]

Hi Fam,

A lot of are better halfs have not been here in the US at all or just for a moment.

I wanted to make a list of ideal or thoughts on, How to make your mate more comfortable for the long stay?

This might sound silly but I know its hard moving to the states from the islands. Every Body Gets Alittle Home Sick! ya know

#1 on my list is

1. Love Making

[*JG* 2]

I listened/continue to listen to what we discuss in order to judge his comfort level and figure out how to make it better. You have to be very adjustable.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hi Fam,

A lot of are better halfs have not been here in the US at all or just for a moment.

I wanted to make a list of ideal or thoughts on, How to make your mate more comfortable for the long stay?

This might sound silly but I know its hard moving to the states from the islands. Every Body Gets Alittle Home Sick! ya know

#1 on my list is

1. Love Making

Dang Bailey...I was doing good...now I'm in HEAT AGAIN My SO and I talk about this all the time...I'm near a large Jamaican community, so we'll see how it goes.

[bailey402 0]

Hi Fam,

A lot of are better halfs have not been here in the US at all or just for a moment.

I wanted to make a list of ideal or thoughts on, How to make your mate more comfortable for the long stay?

This might sound silly but I know its hard moving to the states from the islands. Every Body Gets Alittle Home Sick! ya know

#1 on my list is

1. Love Making

Dang Bailey...I was doing good...now I'm in HEAT AGAIN My SO and I talk about this all the time...I'm near a large Jamaican community, so we'll see how it goes.

Im sorry and I feel your pain.

You are lucky to stay near a Jamaican Community. Where I live there is know such thing. rite.

[Jonesie 1]

Hi Fam,

A lot of are better halfs have not been here in the US at all or just for a moment.

I wanted to make a list of ideal or thoughts on, How to make your mate more comfortable for the long stay?

Stock up on things from Jamaica. Whether it be DVDs, music, food - anything to help your mate feel closer to home may work. I know in some cases this may have the opposite effect, but better to try than not to try at all.

[bailey402 0]

Hi Fam,

A lot of are better halfs have not been here in the US at all or just for a moment.

I wanted to make a list of ideal or thoughts on, How to make your mate more comfortable for the long stay?

Stock up on things from Jamaica. Whether it be DVDs, music, food - anything to help your mate feel closer to home may work. I know in some cases this may have the opposite effect, but better to try than not to try at all.

Yea I feel you but in my case I have the music, food and culture thing on lock. Im part Ja. Im just want things to be ok for my husband. All this a be new for him. I hear alot of storys about peoples man getting here and hating it and all that craziness. Thats sad. For the folks that made it work and all that good stuff. I just want to know the secret! lol

1. Love Making

2. Stay near a Jamaican Community

3. Stock up on things from Jamaica

4.

Thanku more ideals please!

[*JG* 2]

Communicate..........Lots of communication. All things that come up can be worked out if you both communicate what is bothering you and figure out how to make it all work for you.

And Adjust. Both of you must be willing to adjust some of the time.

[bailey402 0]

Communicate..........Lots of communication. All things that come up can be worked out if you both communicate what is bothering you and figure out how to make it all work for you.

And Adjust. Both of you must be willing to adjust some of the time.

Thanku

1. Love Making

2. Stay near a Jamaican Community

3. Stock up on things from Jamaica

4. Lots of communication

5. Adjust

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Communicate..........Lots of communication. All things that come up can be worked out if you both communicate what is bothering you and figure out how to make it all work for you.

And Adjust. Both of you must be willing to adjust some of the time.

Thanku

1. Love Making

2. Stay near a Jamaican Community

3. Stock up on things from Jamaica

4. Lots of communication

5. Adjust

Love Making.......opps that's already on the list...now, where is my head

[bailey402 0]

Communicate..........Lots of communication. All things that come up can be worked out if you both communicate what is bothering you and figure out how to make it all work for you.

And Adjust. Both of you must be willing to adjust some of the time.

Thanku

1. Love Making

2. Stay near a Jamaican Community

3. Stock up on things from Jamaica

4. Lots of communication

5. Adjust

Love Making.......opps that's already on the list...now, where is my head

LOL!

[*JG* 2]

Communicate..........Lots of communication. All things that come up can be worked out if you both communicate what is bothering you and figure out how to make it all work for you.

And Adjust. Both of you must be willing to adjust some of the time.

Thanku

1. Love Making

2. Stay near a Jamaican Community

3. Stock up on things from Jamaica

4. Lots of communication

5. Adjust

Love Making.......opps that's already on the list...now, where is my head

(Kelly just shakes her head and walks away smirking)

[clairern 0]

Hey guys, just saw this thread and it grabbed my attention because when I visited Mike in Ja last month, he expressed that he was not sure if he was going back to the embassy this month. He said that a man his age has to pack up from the way of life he has been used to all his life and move to a new country to start his life all over. What do you guys think about this? I was dumbfounded when I heard this because of all the plans we made and what my expections were.

[Marlita 0]

Hey guys, just saw this thread and it grabbed my attention because when I visited Mike in Ja last month, he expressed that he was not sure if he was going back to the embassy this month. He said that a man his age has to pack up from the way of life he has been used to all his life and move to a new country to start his life all over. What do you guys think about this? I was dumbfounded when I heard this because of all the plans we made and what my expections were.

I can only imagine how hard this situation has to be for the person moving here....BUT....I think sometimes people make it seem like they are going away to PRISION instead of just to another country. My husband was this same way once. I tried to be empathetic to the situation and then I became angry cause it was making no REAL sense. He is not coming here with the notion that he can NEVER return back to Jamaica, so what is the big deal. In a sense...I feel like this whole immigration hoopla is just a means to get him to visit here. If he truly hates it, there's no way in hell that we'll stay here. Either we figure out a way to work around his hate or I move there, or we move somewhere else entirely.

I'm not sure how old Mike is, but I can venture to guess he ain't 80 years old so the whole age thing needs not be the excuse. I think he's just scared. Its is a big move but it is not permanent nor is it prison. After going thru all this immigration stuff for years...he owes it to you, his US based fam, and HIMSELF, to at least finish the job and at least step foot on US soil. This of course is my two cents, and it hits home with me, and is just one of those things I have no patience for.

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

I second what Marlita said...i really don't see the big deal...my husband on the other hand though can't wait to leave JA to come up here...so we never had an issue about that...maybe because he lived in the country all his life and he wants to be where the action is...I live in NY so there is always something going on...plus he has family up here that he is really close to...but you should just let Mike know and reassure him that if he does not like it here you can discuss how to work it out but he should just at least try and see...so is he expecting you to move down to JA???...

[clairern 0]

Thank you guys for your response. I stressed the same things to him. We are having some relationship problems, so maybe that is his way of dealing with it. His is in his 40's and I reiterated to him that he is not the first 40ish years old person to move somewhere new and start a new life. I also reminded him that he will be getting me as a bonus. lol. Anyway after I talked to him some more he changed his mind and is now planning to go take care of his business. Don't know how soon after he gets the visa he will come but at least he will have the choice as you guys have mentioned to see what life here holds for him and if it doesn't suit him then he as the option of moving back home.

I also think he feels that way because he knows that my life is already established and you know some men want to build a life with you where you can attain things together. I have all attained all the material things and am past the childbearing age (a lie dat) so all we can build together is our lives. I am physically unable to go through a pregnancy because of a heart condition that I have.

I plan to be as supportive as I can and have already been, but I can't force him to go against the way he feels. I want him here with me but as I stated before somewhere, he is going to spend some time in Florida with his dad before he joins me here. I am hoping that transition period will be enough to waken him to the realitiy of the situation that we have a life to build together no matter what.

Thanks again for your frank replies to my query.

Edited June 2, 2008 by clairern