Muslims

[ya falaha! 0]

Well then you go to your family by yourself. No need to miss out on YOUR national holiday because the husband is being a stick in the mud. After you get back you should rave about how delicious the food was. If he wants no part in YOUR holiday you should make plans to be out on Friday on HIS holiday. Turnabout is fair play.

At first he was willing to go on Friday, but then he realized that Friday is Eid and said no, they can come to us on our holiday. I told him that was stupid, why would they come to us if we don't go to them. We got into it last night again cause I told him he's making it all too hard and just about rules and how HE interprets them. I'm really frustrated! I don't think of it as a religious holiday either, nor does anyone I've talked to. But I can't get that through his thick Egyptian head! I told him at one point, I'll go alone. He put his foot down and said no, it's not your holiday, you can't. Last I checked I'm still American, so it IS my holiday. And I know plenty of Muslims who are "celebrating" it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Nothing1234 2]

At first he was willing to go on Friday, but then he realized that Friday is Eid and said no, they can come to us on our holiday. I told him that was stupid, why would they come to us if we don't go to them. We got into it last night again cause I told him he's making it all too hard and just about rules and how HE interprets them. I'm really frustrated! I don't think of it as a religious holiday either, nor does anyone I've talked to. But I can't get that through his thick Egyptian head! I told him at one point, I'll go alone. He put his foot down and said no, it's not your holiday, you can't. Last I checked I'm still American, so it IS my holiday. And I know plenty of Muslims who are "celebrating" it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm sorry you are going through this. I really want to call your husband for you and GRRR at him too.

I told my hubby about it and he was shocked that he will not participate. We will be fasting tomorrow and having Thanksgiving dinner later in the day but that is typical for our family anyway. He is so excited for the holiday and wants to cook some Egyptian meals for others to try. Would he want to do something like that? Maybe be able to bring some Egyptian food to contribute, etc? I don't know grasping at straws...just wish he would be more open minded for you and he can try to incorporate his cultural dishes into the meal.

As for what ya falaha said, I agree. I think you need to go to your families without him. Bring home some left overs and make sure to state when he tries to reach out for some that they are "christian holiday" foods and he should not touch them...since a priest or pastor may have breathed on them! You know I'm joking but seriously its a national holiday and its a time to be thankful for our friends, family, health and so on. I think you need to just say to him that as your husband your expectation of him is to participate in a dinner at your families, he does not need to be there for Thanksgiving but for spending time with family as husband and wife.

Hugs Tina! Happy Thanksgiving babes.

[chaishai 1]

At first he was willing to go on Friday, but then he realized that Friday is Eid and said no, they can come to us on our holiday. I told him that was stupid, why would they come to us if we don't go to them. We got into it last night again cause I told him he's making it all too hard and just about rules and how HE interprets them. I'm really frustrated! I don't think of it as a religious holiday either, nor does anyone I've talked to. But I can't get that through his thick Egyptian head! I told him at one point, I'll go alone. He put his foot down and said no, it's not your holiday, you can't. Last I checked I'm still American, so it IS my holiday. And I know plenty of Muslims who are "celebrating" it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Im not muslim, but I converted to judaism and I went through/go through similar stuff from time to time. We are not religious, but we do not have any christian holidays in our house. We go to my sisters for xmas dinner, but its always the same argument every year. Its not that he really worries that hes doing something wrong, he is just trying to control the situation and ensure that his family and his children will not by any chance become anything but jewish. I had to explain also years ago about thanksgiving but he got it. Also even the chassidic jews around here do thanksgiving so that helps. In fact, I have to host thanksgiving to make xmas easier, otherwise its "they never come to us". But I predict once again I will struggle around going to my sisters for xmas like i do every year. I even had him call a chassidic rabbi to get advice and he was told to go, but not eat (yeah right) and not to sit around singing carols lol.

Anyway again, not muslim but can relate. If I were you I would hold your ground.

[Safiya&Samir 0]

This is annoying me.

Speaking about the Islamic ruling concerning attending Thanksgiving, the prominent Muslim scholar and Da`iyah Sheikh `Abdul-Khaleq Hasan Ash-Shareef, states the following:

“A Muslim is permitted to attend Thanksgiving as long as there are no illicit practices that contravene the Islamic teachings. A Muslim is not permitted to show any compromise against his faith. He is not permitted to attend such Thanksgiving party if the issue goes beyond a mere social event to include religious practices that are against Islamic teachings.

However, if that Thanksgiving event is no more than a social event where the members of the family attend and share lawful food (such as turkey), then there is nothing wrong in attending it.”

Moreover, the prominent Azharite scholar Sheikh `Abdul-Majeed Subh, adds:

“Attending Thanksgiving with your family is permitted as long as the occasion is no more than a courtesy in a social occasion and there are no prohibited foods or drinks that are served, such as pork or alcohol.

Question: Assalamu Alaikum, May Muslims celebrate the American holiday of Thanksgiving with their families? Jazakullah Khair for your time. Assalamu Alaikum.

Response By: Muhammad Al-Hanooti

Responded On: Tuesday, November 2, 2004 2:35 PM

Response: Thanksgiving is not a religious celebration. It is cultural. I don't see anything wrong with joining the non-Muslim members of family good and closer to the Muslim members. Maybe that is a good approach of dawah.

Question:

My non-Muslim parents have invited my family over for dinner on Thanksgiving. There will be other family members and old friends at the dinner and they all look forward to seeing me and my family. My always understanding parents have volunteered to do whatever it takes to accommodate my family's attendance (No alcohol, no Thanksgiving rhetoric or decorations, a halal meal, etc.). They just want my family to attend a dinner with friends and family and feel welcome.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

Regardless of its origins, given that the dinner is not an explicitly �religious� function and that it relates to immediate non-Muslim family members, it would be permitted to attend, especially when there are obvious benefits in attending and obvious harm in not doing so.

As for when the benefits and harms are not so clear, it would be better to avoid.

And Allah alone gives success.

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani

MMVIII © Faraz Rabbani and SunniPath.

All rights reserved

Question With the approaching holiday season, are Muslims allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving holiday? (Thanksgiving celebrations really only include eating a meal with family.)

Answer 1) A Muslim is not allowed to celebrate any day as a religious occasion except Eid al Fitr and Eid al Adha.

2) If you have a cultural occasion like Thanksgiving were you serve food with your family, there is nothing wrong with that as it is not religious, but we prefer avoiding it.

Name

ziad - United States

Profession teacher

Question

Some Muslim schools diffrentiate between what is non-Muslim religious holidays and non religious holidays. Some say that thanksgiving and memorial or independence day are not religious and Muslims can participate in it. What do you think of this distinction and what holidays Muslims can participate in without violating thier religious identity?

Answer

I know of no religious basis for thanksgiving. It is a cultural social occasion. As such, there is no ground to say that participating in it is haram. We are offering thanks to Allah (SWT) for His bounties is praiseworthy, but it should be year round and not once a year.

[sandinista! 1,816]

he probably knows all this. it's not uncommon for guys to make up a bunch of bs excuses like his in order to get out of attending family functions. i've heard of that happening over and over again. it almost always comes down to precisely that.

[Nothing1234 2]

he probably knows all this. it's not uncommon for guys to make up a bunch of bs excuses like his in order to get out of attending family functions. i've heard of that happening over and over again. it almost always comes down to precisely that.

unfortunate but true.

[ya falaha! 0]

Agreed, Sandinista. I suspect either he doesn't care for the family or vice versa. My very devout ex-husband would attend Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with my family in order to keep a good relation between he and them. He didn't view it as doing something "haram" he viewed it as keeping the peace and enjoying a nice meal with his inlaws. Ya gotta eat, right?

[sandinista! 1,816]

right! unless through experience you know that someone's cooking is just dreadful-then i could see wanting to avoid it.

[Muh and me 18]

he probably knows all this. it's not uncommon for guys to make up a bunch of bs excuses like his in order to get out of attending family functions. i've heard of that happening over and over again. it almost always comes down to precisely that.

unfortunate but true.

Exactly what mine does, one of the reasons i get so darn depressed at holidays.

[Nothing1234 2]

he probably knows all this. it's not uncommon for guys to make up a bunch of bs excuses like his in order to get out of attending family functions. i've heard of that happening over and over again. it almost always comes down to precisely that.

unfortunate but true.

Exactly what mine does, one of the reasons i get so darn depressed at holidays.

Then you need to go by yourself and let him stay home. Don't give up your time with family or friends just to sit home and do nothing. Enjoy your time w/ your loved ones...he can either join or head out to burger king and get a burger

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I like this:

Imam Bayhaqi relates that Abu Abd al-Rahman al-Sulami (Allah have mercy upon him) said that someone said,

“The description of true servants of Allah is that poverty is their honour;

obedience of Allah, their sweetness;

love of Allah, their joy; to Allah,

their need;

piety their provision;

with Allah, their dealing;

upon Him, their trust;

in Him, their intimacy;

upon Him, their reliance;

hunger, their food;

renunciation, their fruit;

good character, their dress;

cheerful disposition, their jewelry;

generosity of spirit, their trade;

good relations, their company;

knowledge, their leader;

patience, their driver;

guidance, their ride;

the Qur’an, their speech;

thankfulness, their adornment;

remembrance, their concern;

contentment, their rest;

sufficiency, their wealth;

worship, their earnings;

the devil, their enemy;

worldliness, their dumps;

modesty, their shirt;

fear, their habit;

the day, their lesson;

the night, their reflection;

wisdom, their sword;

truth, their guard;

this life, their journey;

death, their destination;

the grave, their shelter;

Firdous, their residence;

beholding the Lord of the Worlds, their longing.

These are the elect servants of Allah, of whom Allah Most High has said, “The servants of the All-Merciful are those who tread lightly on earth.”” [bayhaqi, al-Zuhd al-Kabir, 2.264]

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Struggles of Conversion - free online Q&A event with Shaykh Abdullah bin Hamid Ali

Saturday 12/5/09

12-1:15 pm EST/9-10:15 am PST

(Watch Live!)

A live question and answer session that arose out of a set of questions posed to the sheikh by a group of convert sisters.

Looks like I'll have to rearrange my weekend shopping plans to be home for this. Our cat rescue is having it's holiday bazaar, but I don't think it starts until noon. So, watch this, then go out and buy kitty related goodies and then onto the MENA grocery store. Awesome weekend including all my favorite things - islam, cats and food

And on that MENA cat food related note, a recent batch of kittens in foster care are named after beans and legumes. There's a lentil and a garbanzo, awww.

Edited December 4, 2009 by UmmSqueakster

[Staashi 371]

Awwwwww, I want a Garbanzo or how about Pinto???

[UmmSqueakster 54]

We've got Lentil, Pinto, Jelly, Garbanzo, Chili, Lima and momma Olive. Awww

http://felinerescue.blogspot.com/search/la...%20and%20Babies

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

You are all right and I believe its about family. For him, it was about control. He got his way, but he had a hell of a day! We fought most of the day and I was pretty upset through it. After the day was over, he tried to do anything he could to make me happy again (So we got to tell the parents we're expecting! ). Saturday we went to my families (whom he does like) and when we got home he let me know he was going to do more research on the holiday and that we would probably celebrate next year. It's rough sometimes that getting the smallest change out of him takes a huge fight or drama to get it done, but it's what works. I know he's uncomfortable still with some things, but he'll think twice about taking my holiday away again I hope.

Sorry for the delay, I don't get many chances to get on here any more.