UNOz rain...

[chispas 0]

Hey Zainab, my husbands current state of mind is yet to be discovered or named, so calling him mentally ill is an insult to those of us who are legitimately mentally ill.

Uno, I was asking seriously. The way you describe the turn around sounds like he could be mentally unstable. He wasn't using you for a green card obviously. But why love turn to scorn? Seems something out of kilter in him. Wondering if he has an untreated illness.

Hola Uno,

You know I know the out of kilter thing very well. Zaina you are so right! It is so hard to tell if your being used for the green card when there are other emotional issues present. I can go on forever on this subject, but Uno I think you are in a perfect position to look at the situation "before" he gets here. I so wish I had that insight before the emotional tsunami arrived in my home and began destroying us. I can't begin to express in words what it is like living with someone who arrives here undiagnosed and is then diagnosed while the whole family thinks maybe it is Ju-ju in America that caused it. Even with the overwhelming evidence that the behavior existed before it is still an uphill battle to go against "some" traditional beliefs. We are often exposed to look out for the scammer and the grifter but not realizing that mental health is something else we should be aware of. The language and cultural difference sometimes delays the "red flags" that appear, but the pain is still the same Uno. I feel your pain to the bottom of my soul. Whatever mood changes your SO has, it is not you. Truly it is not because of you.

Hugs

Chispas

[Simply_Uno 1]

Hey Zainab, my husbands current state of mind is yet to be discovered or named, so calling him mentally ill is an insult to those of us who are legitimately mentally ill.

Uno, I was asking seriously. The way you describe the turn around sounds like he could be mentally unstable. He wasn't using you for a green card obviously. But why love turn to scorn? Seems something out of kilter in him. Wondering if he has an untreated illness.

You know, and this is all b.s. aside. I was not joking.

There is something wrong with his current state of mind, and I don't believe it has been discovered or named in his country or he does not "claim" the diagnosis. Hell, he told me the doctor that did my tubal but left me with my menses was practicing witchcraft on me.

check it...his theory is: surely I can still have a child, I still have a period, so she whoo-dooed me. There is more lunatic verbage I could give you, but enough is enough.

He does not believe in apologizing for his indescretions, he says apologies go to God, not man, he praises God one moment and scorns the next, claims he is a "wisdom man, oracle, or mega star" depending on the strategic settings of the constellations and which way the tides roll, and has the nerves to prophesy; but when they don't come to pass, he says " I am just a messenger."

Now mind you, his behaviour was not this erratic before we got married. But 2 months into it, and all hell broke dee' fux loose on me. I did notice he could be difficult at times, but he was never abusive towards me prior to our marriage.

That's what I was sort of thinking. I wonder what happened. Only cause I'm nosy. He's so far away, that dealing with his illness is just about impossible. I also find that many people in Ghana don't see mental illness as a "treatable" disease. Especially, those who have it. It's just something to live with. Which is hard when it's someone you love and certainly a disservice to those that are ill. In your situation anyway, it comes down to how far committed into the situation you are, and protecting yourself and your children from what can become very dangerous left untreated. No one loves you like you love you. Take care of yourself. Pray him up to the Saviour and hopefully everything will work out for him.

So listen, knowing that he will probably be out of your life now, why do you think he was placed in your life? Is there something you can take from the experience?

to Zainab:

because the devil is busy girl , dont cha know???? my grannie tells me all de time, the devil can answer prayers too, dats why u need to try the spirit by the spirit.

to everyone else,

Once again, I have been humbled by everyones thoughts, words and prayers. I have received more positivity from complete strangers whom I shall can angels than those that know me personally. I love the spirit that flows forth from all of you and I cannot thank you enough.

UNO

[Simply_Uno 1]

Well, this is an update on my rain, my cousinz funeral was may 18, 2008 and his family laid him to rest.

I did not attend the funeral due to very high emotions surrounding his untimely departure.

As of yet, we still dont have all of the conclusive evidence, just more speculation.

I am waiting for the last to episodes to play out in my life...my grandmothers situation and the finalization of the death of my marriage.

To everyone reading this, whom ever you love, tell them each and every day, and follow those loving words with loving actions.

Telling them tomorrow may just be too damn late.

Take care and love one another.

UNO

[JJWashington 0]

Uno,

You and your family are in my prayers. You are so right about telling the ones you love that you love them everyday! Please take it easy and stay strong!