opinion .Do you think it helps or hurts Mena girls when we post our drama on here about our relationships with our men?

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I'm sorry but I still just can't wrap my head around why you insist on coming to the MENA forum to berate the women for whatever they choose to disclose about their lives. What the fukc are you doing? So I choose to disclose a bit less and others choose to disclose a bit more. Are you really so insecure that you need to do this in order to feel more secure about your own marriage. What is your purpose here? Are you really who you claim to be?

ETA: Pardon my outburst, but I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of people who seem to come on VJ only to try to rub others noses in something. What is the GD point?

Yes I am who I really claim to be, we have gone through all the processes everyone else has. I am not insecure in any way shape or form, how does anything I have said in these define me as insecure? It is reasuring to know I made the best choice in my wife. The only reason I visit the mena posts to be honest is that there are a few women here that are stereo typical American women that complain all the time about this or that. Maybe I keep visiting to see if they will ever change but most often they continue.

From a mans point of view if they continue the way they are don't expect there husbands to be happy with it. Ask any man if they want their wives to complain all the time to their friends and they will all say NO.

BTW

[SaadBell 0]

From a mans point of view if they continue the way they are don't expect there husbands to be happy with it. Ask any man if they want their wives to complain all the time to their friends and they will all say NO.

My husband is a really busy man, and he has way more important things to worry about, than his wife on a forum, chatting with others in the process. Everyone has their own comfort zones, some share more than others, everyone is different. My husband knows who he married, and knows that I have some strong stands on certain things, and encourages this. But like I said everyone is different, and some may not be happy with that at all. He keeps promising me he will get into the forum, but he is very focus on different things that involve work, and work consumes his life at the moment. That is why I married him, he always is behind my ideas and is wonderful support.

[nunyab 0]

Venting is always good but I always consider who I am venting to and why.... do I feel I need the support or do I have a valid concern. If I have a valid conern than I should probably go to my husband with it... if I need the suport than yeah I hear yeah just can't take board venting and advise to personal since we haven't walked in another's shoes and what kind of advice to you wanna hear... everything I was told is the worst possible case scenario for our SO... I'd rather not plant those seeds but I voted yes just the same ... LMAO

[Jenn! 918]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I'm sorry but I still just can't wrap my head around why you insist on coming to the MENA forum to berate the women for whatever they choose to disclose about their lives. What the fukc are you doing? So I choose to disclose a bit less and others choose to disclose a bit more. Are you really so insecure that you need to do this in order to feel more secure about your own marriage. What is your purpose here? Are you really who you claim to be?

ETA: Pardon my outburst, but I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of people who seem to come on VJ only to try to rub others noses in something. What is the GD point?

Yes I am who I really claim to be, we have gone through all the processes everyone else has. I am not insecure in any way shape or form, how does anything I have said in these define me as insecure? It is reasuring to know I made the best choice in my wife. The only reason I visit the mena posts to be honest is that there are a few women here that are stereo typical American women that complain all the time about this or that. Maybe I keep visiting to see if they will ever change but most often they continue.

From a mans point of view if they continue the way they are don't expect there husbands to be happy with it. Ask any man if they want their wives to complain all the time to their friends and they will all say NO.

BTW

Ok, so to sum up...no real purpose. You want to reassure yourself about your own decisions through pointing out the faults in women here. That's just fabulous.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Venting is always good but I always consider who I am venting to and why.... do I feel I need the support or do I have a valid concern. If I have a valid conern than I should probably go to my husband with it... if I need the suport than yeah I hear yeah just can't take board venting and advise to personal since we haven't walked in another's shoes and what kind of advice to you wanna hear... everything I was told is the worst possible case scenario for our SO... I'd rather not plant those seeds but I voted yes just the same ... LMAO

I think it depends on your situation. I have been real sick and I am pregnant and I cannot talk to my family about things..issues .. especially about my mena spouse. My mom already has a horrible taste in her mouth because of what she saw done to me ( she was COMPLETELY NOT PREJUDICED BEFORE TRAVELLING TO EGYPT<MOROCCO AND JORDAN) But as far as her daughter being involved with a muslim arab, she was completely not positive about it nor is anyone else in my family. They were very much before, but they got put through the ringer and so did I and they didnt want me really to get involved with someone over there.

I think the mena boards are an amazing support for people married to people over there. I dont know what the mena boards are for you, but where can you find so many Americans married to arabs all at the same place? They all have varied experiences you can draw upon to understand and interpret their spouses reactions and behaviors. After over a year on here, I trust alot of what many have to say here. You are just in the beginning of your petitioning process I think and as the year drags on all things can happen and will. I am glad I have had these boards to help me survive the year long wait to get my husband here ( and my process went faster than many others due to an expedite at NVC. Welcome to the long ride..Fasten your seatbelt.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I'm sorry but I still just can't wrap my head around why you insist on coming to the MENA forum to berate the women for whatever they choose to disclose about their lives. What the fukc are you doing? So I choose to disclose a bit less and others choose to disclose a bit more. Are you really so insecure that you need to do this in order to feel more secure about your own marriage. What is your purpose here? Are you really who you claim to be?

ETA: Pardon my outburst, but I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of people who seem to come on VJ only to try to rub others noses in something. What is the GD point?

Yes I am who I really claim to be, we have gone through all the processes everyone else has. I am not insecure in any way shape or form, how does anything I have said in these define me as insecure? It is reasuring to know I made the best choice in my wife. The only reason I visit the mena posts to be honest is that there are a few women here that are stereo typical American women that complain all the time about this or that. Maybe I keep visiting to see if they will ever change but most often they continue.

From a mans point of view if they continue the way they are don't expect there husbands to be happy with it. Ask any man if they want their wives to complain all the time to their friends and they will all say NO.

BTW

I can say lots of stereotypical things about American men, mexicans etc. Why exactly do you come to our forum? Its not to lift us up or because you understand? How do you know what latin american women say about American men? How do you know that all these latin women are honorable in their intentions to marry American men? Yet you trash us all the time. At least if you meet an American woman and she befriends you, you know she doesnt want to marry you to bring her family here or bring herself here and then ditch you (which happens all the time here in Florida)

We are no more stereotypical than any other women. Women are women. We like to bounce stuff off of each other. You are using this forum to justify your particular choice. But I have hells bells news for you. There are tons of American men getting used and abused by latin women for papers, money etc all to get out of their country. Read the immigration changes thread. Just cause shes mexican , doesnt mean she is a saint anymore than being American makes a woman horrible. Shes a nice girl. You were married to a bad american woman. You married a nice mexican. Does that make all mexican women nice? Hell no.

I always am so perplexed when I see the reasons some of these guys have for trashing us. When I was in Abu Dhabi, I saw hoards of russian prostitutes everywhere I turned turning tricks for oil workers and saudis and uae guys. Yet I have to read these threads about how all american women are garbage and how all russian women are amazing. All russian women, mexican women, whatever women are not saints. Like all American women arent evil. You need to wake up and realise that there are good and bad in both countries and just because your american wife was a jerk, not all americans are

[sarahaziz 0]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

I think thats just it. Guys don't sit around and talk about that stuff but women do. It doesn't matter where you are from, women discuss these things. This forum is mostly women too, so it goes hand in hand.

My wife doesn't do this, I think I would be worried about our relationship if she was angry at me all the time and complained. If I upset her I do whatever I can to make her happy. She is my life and I love her with all my heart.

I'm sorry but I still just can't wrap my head around why you insist on coming to the MENA forum to berate the women for whatever they choose to disclose about their lives. What the fukc are you doing? So I choose to disclose a bit less and others choose to disclose a bit more. Are you really so insecure that you need to do this in order to feel more secure about your own marriage. What is your purpose here? Are you really who you claim to be?

ETA: Pardon my outburst, but I'm becoming increasingly less tolerant of people who seem to come on VJ only to try to rub others noses in something. What is the GD point?

Yes I am who I really claim to be, we have gone through all the processes everyone else has. I am not insecure in any way shape or form, how does anything I have said in these define me as insecure? It is reasuring to know I made the best choice in my wife. The only reason I visit the mena posts to be honest is that there are a few women here that are stereo typical American women that complain all the time about this or that. Maybe I keep visiting to see if they will ever change but most often they continue.

From a mans point of view if they continue the way they are don't expect there husbands to be happy with it. Ask any man if they want their wives to complain all the time to their friends and they will all say NO.

BTW

I agree with you, nagging a man doesn't get anything positive back from him. I think women rant on here because their husbands aren't here to see it? Pretty much besides posting up your picture you're really anonymous on here. And they think about their husbands respect so they don't tell anybody face to face. Because wht if he does something sweet after and then your friends roll their eyes cuz they don't know his sweet side vs the bad side you've been complaining about. I've heard my friend bicker about her husband and I didn't like him before cuz of all the complaining but he's a great awesome guy now that i see he makes sure she eats before he eats (American guy).

I don't know how true that sentence is about only American women complaining about men hahaha you should come to my country you'll see alot of women complaining but at the end of the conversation they end up talking about how much they love their husbands and only go thru hard times with their spouse. It's universal for women to complain we're not that strong to hold things in and If we do we go CRAZY.

[SaadBell 0]

You are right ladies, this is a worldwide thing, women talk, and we communicate to each other by talking, men not so much. My husband is just as big as gossip as I am, so men also talk about each other, just in a different way. My husband’s friends know what they say to him, he will come right home and tell me, but they still spill their guts to him, so they aren’t too worried. People are just interested in how others handle situations. I too don’t go to my family, love them, but they are useless in some situations, and this is where people in the same situation come in to help. Truly no one ever has spilled big stuff on this forum, just everyday problems that happen to ever body. No one has come on here and said they had killed several husbands and buried them, now that is personally stuff folks. I have never seen any of these ladies trash their now husbands, but we do joke about men being lazy, and sport focused, things woman have done from the beginning of times. Really what husband wants to talk about his wife’s bodily functions, that is when your husband says, hasn’t it been a long time since you called your sister?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

You are right ladies, this is a worldwide thing, women talk, and we communicate to each other by talking, men not so much. My husband is just as big as gossip as I am, so men also talk about each other, just in a different way. My husband’s friends know what they say to him, he will come right home and tell me, but they still spill their guts to him, so they aren’t too worried. People are just interested in how others handle situations. I too don’t go to my family, love them, but they are useless in some situations, and this is where people in the same situation come in to help. Truly no one ever has spilled big stuff on this forum, just everyday problems that happen to ever body. No one has come on here and said they had killed several husbands and buried them, now that is personally stuff folks. I have never seen any of these ladies trash their now husbands, but we do joke about men being lazy, and sport focused, things woman have done from the beginning of times. Really what husband wants to talk about his wife’s bodily functions, that is when your husband says, hasn’t it been a long time since you called your sister?

speaking of serial killers.... did you hear about the smiley face killer? I cant wait till you decide to hit orlando....downtown tours on me lol

[morocco4ever 63]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

In one part you are portraying the wife, in the other part you are portraying the husband. I know you are the husband, so why are you speaking for your wife?

Also, since you are whining that only the women here are talking (because lets face it, we are the petitioners doing all of the immigration work), does your wife post here? If so, what is her screen name?

Personally my husband is bored with VJ. He reads it on occasion, but he has other things that interest him. Although to be fair I don't vent about my husband here. Not that we don't have problems at times, we do, but I choose other ways to deal with it. We always work it together without help. But that is just us. If the women come here to vent its because no one understands the unique trials that an American MENA wife has to deal with more than other American MENA wives. Like Sarah and Jenn said, women all over complain. Its human nature, nor American womens nature. Similar to the fact that all men like to hoard the remote, or they change channels non stop. There are just some things that are universal, so deal with it.

Stop trying to portray the perfect marriage because there is no such thing. Personally I think when you have one spouse claiming everything is perfect it is usually because that spouse is so blind and controlling that they don't know, nor do they care what their spouse is feeling if it doesn't conform to their way of thinking.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Ameen to that last paragraph.

[SaadBell 0]

I am coming wahrania, when my husband comes, he can hang out and talk all Arabic withyour husband, while we hit the sites. Hesham still does not appreciate a good murder scene. Plus I made that damn cake you talked about, so there went my fresh fruit diet. I blame you for that cake, OMG it is so good, you think you might have died and went to heaven. By the way, my husband just wrote me and guess what, he is telling me all about the politics of his job, men are sometimes worst than woman. Too funny, grown men, one guy is having a big hot affair with this young thing, while he is married with two kids. He is open about this, and I am waiting for when the wife finds out, and he even told Hesham, and the men that Hesham told his wife, now this is all over the place. DAHHHHHHH, idiot of course he is going to tell me this juicy piece of news. Does he continue to update Hesham, of course, too funny. I will let you all know when it all blows up.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

One person posted that it seemed the MENA group are all women complaining about their husbands.

"The part that bothers me when I read the "drama" or problems or ranting about spouses, is that it's very one sided, women complaining about the men. I wish there were more men posting in this section from MENA instead of mostly only the women part of the equation. We would get a better picture of situations. I don't like complaining about my husband when other women complain about their men(I don't mean joking around, I mean serious annoyance at the husband), it becomes like a "thing to do", even in a work place, to complain about men. I like my husband and I wouldn't want him complaining about me to others in his workplace or on the internet. I'd be upset. Talking about an issue is one thing, complaining is another IMO. We all have things we can complain about concerning our spouses, and they have things about us too. I don't want him complaining about me to people on a forum. "

Why do women do this? Is this just American women? If my wife said the things some women say here I would say the marriage is bad. I have never been around a bunch of guys and the were complaining about their wives.

In one part you are portraying the wife, in the other part you are portraying the husband. I know you are the husband, so why are you speaking for your wife?

Also, since you are whining that only the women here are talking (because lets face it, we are the petitioners doing all of the immigration work), does your wife post here? If so, what is her screen name?

Personally my husband is bored with VJ. He reads it on occasion, but he has other things that interest him. Although to be fair I don't vent about my husband here. Not that we don't have problems at times, we do, but I choose other ways to deal with it. We always work it together without help. But that is just us. If the women come here to vent its because no one understands the unique trials that an American MENA wife has to deal with more than other American MENA wives. Like Sarah and Jenn said, women all over complain. Its human nature, nor American womens nature. Similar to the fact that all men like to hoard the remote, or they change channels non stop. There are just some things that are universal, so deal with it.

Stop trying to portray the perfect marriage because there is no such thing. Personally I think when you have one spouse claiming everything is perfect it is usually because that spouse is so blind and controlling that they don't know, nor do they care what their spouse is feeling if it doesn't conform to their way of thinking.

I only come on here when I get bored at the office.

I am the opposite of controlling, fortunately my wife and I am both givers not takers. It is noce for a change to not be taken advantage of or manipulated by a woman. I never claim to have a perfect relationship only a good one finally because I don't have to put up with a woman complaining all the time and living in fear of what mood she might be in at the moment. When all your life you are treated like dirt by women and finally you find someone that treats you good ofcourse you feel like maybe it is most American women. My wife has told me many time that she doesn't understand why American women act the way they do. We still have to deal with my ex wife because of my children and this occasionally cases problems. My ex threatens me all the time but I never stoop to her level and fight with her. I always try to be civil with her. I have custody of one child and she has custody of the other. I pay child support but she does not. I always go pick up my daughter but she only comes to see her son maybe 2 times a year and we are only 3 hours away. My son would prefer to never see his mom but my daughter would live with us if there was anyway posssible. I could go on for hours listed things about my ex but it is not important. The point is she is EVIL.

[~Jackie~ 30]

edited myself cuz it wasnt nice

jJ

Edited May 27, 2008 by just_Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

edited myself cuz it wasnt nice