opinion .Do you think it helps or hurts Mena girls when we post our drama on here about our relationships with our men?

[morocco4ever 63]

Len-Bren-Jenn

Poetry in the midst of drama.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

i voted yes

erm .. first, I'm a guy -so- there ya go.

and i always thought you was female

[Nagishkaw 510]

I don't post my business concerning my relationship, so I didn't vote.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

No. But I can argue wolf pack mentality. Grrr.

[Donna A 4]

i dont mind at all when people need to get things off their chest. sometimes it makes u feel alot better. i just dont like it when im telling my opinion and someone twist what i say into something i didnt mean and then the slam donna begins.

no ones marriege is perfect. im sure everyone fights. i feel more comfortable talking about my problems one on one with people instead of putting them out for everyone to see. not that i hide any problems but just feel better discussing them one on one.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Len-Bren-Jenn

Poetry in the midst of drama.

You got it sistah!

[AlHayatZween 2]

i voted yes. i get a lot of good advice off this board. sure, sometimes i have to wade through people's opinions and some drama here and there, but for the most part i find what i'm looking for. plus, it helps me be prepared for some issues in the future. i've lived with my SO before... but that was in Morocco. things are different there, and i'm trying to prepare myself best for some things that might happen IF inchallah, he gets the visa and comes here.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

I voted no, because for me personally I choose not to post real personal information regarding my rel w/Tarek. I fully support anyone who gains support/insight into posting and sharing relationship difficulties or concerns. And I also can see that it can be helpful to anyone that chooses to post topics relative to relationship issues/concerns.

I have found so much support in other areas for sure from each and every one of you and for that I am quite blessed and thankful!

[Imua 0]

I think it is helpful, though I agree with morocco4ever's first post. My husband is not MENA but there are some of the same issues in our marriage that I see in a lot of the MENA relationships - age difference, big cultural difference, similar ideas regarding the role of women, behavior in public(modesty), etc. so I identify with a lot of what is posted here. I don't really feel like I identify with the S. Asia board b/c honestly I think most of the USCs are male desis bringing over their younger arranged brides whom they have only known for a month or less - no drama or the usual visa hassles related to short courtship or age difference b/c they are both desi and the male is older than the female... So many people, upon hearing of my marriage, without even having met Govi assume he is only using me for a GC and it is very hurtful. I know that some guys do that and yes a lot of times I have applied what I have read here to my own marriage and overanalyzed everything which only makes me stressed and anxious... OTOH I see the successful marriages and advice on dealing with culture shock and I find it very helpful.

[S and S 12]

There is drama here, of course, but I have never seen a group of people more supportive when someone is upset. Everyone is so welcoming when there is a new arrival and everyone is supportive as people go through the visa process. Honestly, I am suprised at how great everyone is. People here are close for not knowing each other in real life (in most cases).

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

I voted YES!!! Yes, I have posted some of my "drama" here, but where else can I get unbiased opinions? Tho I have to admit some of the "solutions" to my problems were crazy, and maybe even illegal (LOL), a lot of them were truly meant from the heart. Sometimes, having someone suggest solutions to your problems can be enlightening. It can make you see things in a different light. I know it made me look deeper into myself and realize that not all of the wrong things in my marriage were my husband's fault. Not that he is and angel, but certainly not as bad as I seemed to be making him sound. I think that comes from the hurt and confusion any of us face when something goes bad in our relationships. Posting here and reading the comments and suggestion in reply to my post's made me look at myself and work on the parts of my psyche that needed toning up a bit. Self improvement is NEVER a bad thing! Not only that, but some of the suggestions and helpful hints were hilarious and made me laugh, yes, even at myself!

PS, Super congratulations on all the new visa's granted here in the last few weeks! Summer time is going to be extra fun for a lot of folks this year! Can I hear a YAY for Visa Journey's Victorious?????

[HLM 1]

I voted Yes even tho i never posted anything concerning my marraige. But i do learn from other ppls problems and situations. Also no matter how much i talk to my friends about the pain of the process they will never get it or truely know what im saying like MENA gurls do!! so i never hestitate to vent here al hamdulillah ..... im sure u all relate on how good it feels and the immense reliefe knowing that U R NOT ALONE IN THIS!!! :D

[Rocketta 0]

I voted yes. There is nowhere else I can go and read anything close to what I'm experiencing especially when my family is not really that supportive. It's not about letting everything influence you but about 'taking what you like and leave the rest' I find that the outside world constantly wants me to doubt my husband's motives and when I come here our love is reaffirmed (yes I understand that's some hoky ####) and makes me feel good and helps me get through those long lonely nights without my Riyad.

hey wow you can't curse on this board!!!

[doodlebugg 10]

Yes and no. It does help to let it out and some of the advice has been invaluable for me, BUT airing out my dirty laundry has led to some people following me around the internet for the sole intention of trying to make me miserable so just be on the lookout for trolls after that laundry is hung out to dry.

[ya falaha! 0]

Yes and no but I think more no. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing too much personal drama on VJ. I know where the info goes and what it leads to. I'm not wild about being fodder for gossip so the less ppl know, the better.