Depression

[MrsAmera 41]

Hi Everyone - Well I guess I am looking for a bit of advice, support and/or help. Youssef is in a really bad slump right now and I have been trying my hardest to get him out of it. He has been having migraine/headaches for about 3-4 weeks now and we have almost exhausted everything. I took him to the emergency room (we have no insurance) and they ran a catscan and full blood work and found nothing wrong. They gave him some Tylenol with Codine and at the time he said it worked but now he is telling me that they never did work (argh!) he just wanted me and them to stop asking questions. We've tried massage and now he's seeing a chiropractor and it doesn't seem to be helping. I don't doubt that he has a headache but I think a large part of it is that he is really depressed right now, which I know is normal, but he doesn't want to talk about it or admit to it. He doesn't get out of bed, he hasn't gone to his ESL classes in 1 1/2 weeks. I'm stressed out right now too, finishing school and it's to the point where I almost resent him because he just makes me feel sad and depressed because I don't know how else I can help him. We got a gym membership, that he's been wanting and the weather is finally nice but he doesn't want to go out. Have any of you dealt with this? Do you have any suggestions of what we could try?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

My husband went through this too, although though not as severe. Can he get a volunteer job that would force him out of the house each day? That's what really helped my DH.

Also, would talking with another recent immigrant help? I can give you our phone number and my husband can chat with him. Or, they could talk on msn.

[Bosco 1]

Amera,

Anyway you could plan for a short visit home? Everyone adjusts differently and for some it is much harder. Does he have other Moroccans here to talk to who can relate to what is he going through?

Rebecca

[MrsAmera 41]

We haven't even filed AOS yet so he's months off from a trip home . His brother lives in New York, and his best friend lives in Portland and they talk almost daily but it doesn't seem to be helping. He also calls home every other day or so. I thought some kind of voluntering would be really good for him, but he doesn't want to work if he's not getting money. But I'm going to keep trying...

[Jenn! 918]

Yes, I think making friends with other Moroccans was what is helping Wadi the most. He often goes to watch or play soccer with them or just hang out. Sometimes they come over to our house to watch 2M, too. It's all helping pass the time until the EAD arrives.

Is there a Moroccan immigrant population where you are?

[Bosco 1]

We haven't even filed AOS yet so he's months off from a trip home . His brother lives in New York, and his best friend lives in Portland and they talk almost daily but it doesn't seem to be helping. He also calls home every other day or so. I thought some kind of voluntering would be really good for him, but he doesn't want to work if he's not getting money. But I'm going to keep trying...

I am not sure how religious your hubby is, but my husband finds great comfort in turning to his faith. Listening to Qur'an recitation always makes his mood better. Sometimes he will spend more time in prayer, reciting lengthier parts of the Qur'an.

Wish I had better advice

Rebecca

[dollface41601 0]

i would bet his migraines come from not getting out of bed...i was a migraine sufferer and the times they hit worst was when i either slept too much or lied around....tell him to get on a sleeping schedule only sleeping 7-8 hours a night...he will feel better with time..

as for being homesick...i agree about making other arab/moroccan friends....it has to be so hard on him...as i know its hard on sofyan...but you both will prevail, so dont lose hope...he has only been here for a few months, and this is the time where it will probably affect him the hardest...just support him to no end, and things will work out

[Together4ever 1]

I would like to offer something, remembering well what I personally went through when I moved to Egypt. No matter how much you love someone, and no matter how prepared you think are, culture shock and homesickness are unavoidable. I really suffered through about one to two months of helpless depression.

First, be sure you don't blame him or yourself. It's not only psychological but physical as well. When moving from one environment to an entirely different one it literally puts the body in shock.

What got me through it... myself. I had to fight it out with myself. There was nothing else that could be done. Mohammed was so loving and kind and understanding. And yes, at times we had some scalding fights, but you know something? I needed those too. And never did I feel I did not have his support.

Sorry its not magical answer, but he's probably going to have to gut through this, and you too, until everything settles down. Just stay at his side. It's going to be ok.

[rejane 1]

Adjusting can be a little hard some times...

What about visiting his friend or his brother for a weekend... It might be nice for him to see either one.

Being for away from your roots can be hard times to times...

Good luck,

[lostinlove228 0]

I have been getting a lot of Migrains lately due to the weather. I happens when it is rainy, clowdy, or Humid. Make sure that is watching his diet and not getting too much sleep.

Go out to a moracon Restaurant. I don't know if there is anything that would remind of home in your area, a Cafe, Restaurant. See what is around. Maybe that will help.

[MaryandMian 1]

This may be a stretch but I agree maybe he is sleeping too much and that is causing the migraines but how about finding him something to do and kinda prodding him along the way? Mother's Day is coming up in few weeks. Why not make plans for a little outing and go and shop for some flowers? Have pots on patio or yard beds and ask him to help you while you are at work sprucing up the yard. It will be quality time together and he can help fix the yard with his own little signature. This way he will be burning some energy, in the sun and that should lift his spirits. Plus, networking him to others out to improve his spirits as well. Good luck.

Mary

[honeyblonde 0]

Are you sure it's Migraines? I get dreadful sinus headaches and have found that they are worse when I first move to a new area. You can have a sinus infection and not even have a runny nose. The clue is that your face hurts bad.

Unfortunately everybody is right, and you being in school makes things so much harder. Abdel go here at the end of a semester for me too, and I was already swamped, I didn't need his depression to feel guilty about. Your semester will end soon and I bet his mood will get a lot better when it does. All you can do is remind yourself that this too shall pass....

[jordanianprincess 0]

Amera, I was gonna make some suggestions, but it looks like you got lots of great advice from these ladies already I just love VJ

[UmmSqueakster 54]

. I thought some kind of voluntering would be really good for him, but he doesn't want to work if he's not getting money. But I'm going to keep trying...

Dur. Kick him in the butt and tell him that he will be getting something for it - work experience and references. He'll have an easier time getting a job if he has references in the United States and some work experience.

[kerewin21 2]

Hanging out with other Moroccans seemed to really help Majid out. The culture shock is really hard to deal with. It honestly does sound like Youssouf could be depressed. If you can try to get him out of the house (I know, not very easy with your current schedule and his lack of motivation) that might help. You might also look into any free clinics in your area; if this is depression there are a lot of treatments that can help out that he should be able to access at no cost.