Already have a wife.......

[We_Destiny 1]

Hugs to you at this moment Does his "wife" know that he married you to get to the United States? If she does know, then it may not do any good to get in contact with her. You may just hurt yourself by being lied to by more people.

Please be very careful, as others have suggested, if he is willing to go to this extent to get a green card he might not stop at anything to make sure his secret remains hidden. I would additionally suggest to remove your passports, birth-certificates and any legal documents you have from the house. Any and all personal information on you also needs to be protected as it can be quite easy to cause financial and personal damage. (I speak from experience on this) Please also make sure that you "safe" people to check on you and be around you more often during this time. At all cost be safe first and USCIS second.

[LovinLiberia 0]

Hugs to you at this moment Does his "wife" know that he married you to get to the United States? If she does know, then it may not do any good to get in contact with her. You may just hurt yourself by being lied to by more people.

Please be very careful, as others have suggested, if he is willing to go to this extent to get a green card he might not stop at anything to make sure his secret remains hidden. I would additionally suggest to remove your passports, birth-certificates and any legal documents you have from the house. Any and all personal information on you also needs to be protected as it can be quite easy to cause financial and personal damage. (I speak from experience on this) Please also make sure that you "safe" people to check on you and be around you more often during this time. At all cost be safe first and USCIS second.

Very good ideas.

[His Glory 25]

Hello Everyone,

I am kind of calm today. Thanks for all your continued support. It is difficult facing him and yes I am getting my ducks in a row. I have all emails including her email address. Once this comes to a head, I will contact her but not now. You know someone told me that a friend of theirs married an American woman and the guy from Nigeria family members were all there and they knew he had a wife. I never thought that would be the case with me but it is similar.

I have to wait until the time is right to SLAP him with all this information I have obtained. Even jobs he told me that they never contacted him, have wrote email saying sorry that you decided not to work with us. It's hard ladies but I have to hold my tongue until I can have the last laugh. I have prayed and prayed, I need all the strength I can get. I try talking to him as if nothing is wrong but he can tell. I just have to walk away and smile like it's nothing. Now I must admit, the minute he BEG for sex, I may have to slap the S*** out of him. That will be a tough one.

Ladies it's amazing how someone can be so deceitful and act as if there is nothing wrong. Now don't misunderstand me, I have thrown hints. He didn't get it because he is so busy being deceitful.

In addition, now I have all phone records of all phone calls. Yet to connect my devise from Radio Shack to the phone line but it's coming. I walk around saying these words, HANG MAN. And all he say is with that "voice of authority" what is that? what are you talking about? I do that "soap opera" voice, nothing dear.

I will get around to answer all questions as this progress. I am so sorry that I am just getting back with you but it has been rough.

He has his conditional green card. I am doing my research and I have family members that are lawyer unfortunately they are not immigration lawyers.

I hate to say that I do feel bad about spying on my husband but now I am glad. The software is amazing, I know every website he goes to and each and every key stroke. And I check it with him sitting right there. :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

Be back later,

Thank you all, you all are HEAVEN SENT

It's hard not to cry when I type this.

You need to be careful. You came on here under a different name because you didnt want him to know it was you posting right? But you are giving toooo many specific details "hangman"? if he reads that here he will know everything. Also, try to keep a tight hold on it. If he suspects because of your odd behavior then he will try to stop you. After all you, you got suspicious of him because of his odd behavior, right? becareful girl. Keep it cool. hugs.

[Linguere 0]

You are in my prayers. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this and it's hard to even think what I can say to ease your pain. Take care of you, your life, your documents, your valuables, your money. You really don't want him to take what's yours and send it home.

I think a lot of us tend to think that it won't happen to us...but it happens a lot. I have mentioned several times how many times I have seen this happen...even the fake weddings (the bride doesn't know). When I had surgery, even one of the doctors working in the area chuckled at the conversation and said it is how he got his residency also. It's much more common than we discuss, and I am glad that you risked os much to tell us your story. It is never your fault that someone lied to you. You risked a lot emotionally to come back and tell your story so that we can better protect ourselves. Thank you; it's a wake up call.

I am wondering, because I didn't read it, if besides the USCIS fraud case, that you can, at some point, also call the police/district attorney to find out the repercussions of bigamy. It is illegal to be married legally to two people in the U.S. When it's time, think about how else you can protect yourself. I would make sure that you get proof (certified or registered mail) of everything that you send to USCIS in case you have to fight the affidavit of support later. No judge would force you to make good on it if you notified the authorities.

So that said, take care of your soul and please be careful. As was said earlier, desperate people do desperate things. Leave the hints alone and get your business in order before you get the pleasure of busting him. Do it from the other side of a locked door. You just never know...this is a big investment that he thought he was making for his future. You don't know how he might react. Just take care of you and let him find out by finding his things outside. File for divorce first so that he does not have any rights to your property. Thank you for sharing your story and I am wishing you an extra prayer. When he's gone, then you can release and really allow the healing to begin.

blessings!

[GabiandVi 34]

Printed out the I-360 information.

Good for you!!! I don't see how he has a leg to stand on. Surely, even if through pure inefficiency they don't deport him, he won't be able to bring his family over. He obviously engaged in fraud.

Best wishes. We are all rooting for you!

[ose_n_me 0]

It's so pathetic to hear of another person being used and disrespected for something that all of us are so desperately suffering for right now! It has to be the most horrific thing to discover after everything we are forced to endure during this process. My heart goes out to you, and all the others who will unfortunately discover a similar situation. We all know the risks, yet we choose to take the leap of faith for reasons only we can ever know. I personally know at least 5 women, I have met in the last year who have horror stories of their own. It's devestating. I truly hope that you are successful in his deportation. We have to send a message that we will not tolorate this, and that there is punishment for breaking the law in this country!!!!

For anyone who's interested...theres a yahoo group called "romancescams" that is an excellent support and networking site. There's lots of information and people who have been, or are now going thru the same thing. They even post pictures and names of known "scammers". The groups owners and moderators were on "Oprah" not too long ago. Maybe they will have information on how to best handle your situation Betrayed01.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of us who have let God be the judge of our fate.

God Bless

[BESANGIN 0]

Hello Betrayed01,

Girlfriend let me tell you, if his Mandingo A$$ only has a conditional card then all you have to do is take your evidence to your local office with an official letter stating that you want to rescind your petition because you have evidence that the A$$HOLE married you for a green card. That will get the ball rolling so they can exercise his A$$ back to his wife and chillin'. Keeping his dumb whorish A$$ in your house is only going to give him time to build up an abuse case against you in an attempt to stay. I have this on very good authority as a friend is an ajudication supervisor at the NBC in Lee's Summit. They advised me when my own green card prostitute did the same to me, but unfortunately he got a ten year card which meant for me to get his A$$ deported I would have had to stoop to his level and file a report that he hit me. If he is charged with any felony he can kiss and whatootsie his A$$ back to the bush. I know it's hard because I fought my feelings for nearly a year and allowed this man to continue to play games with my heart, but when I realized that his A$$ was just plain NO DAMN GOOD, it was time for me to start building me back up. I had to remember that I was the prize, not him! Girl you got GOLD with your evidence and conditional card. I hope you use it.

Lurking, you were very generous in your statistics about relationships being a scam. It is more like 3 out of 4 are scams. Its an ugly fact, but it is the truth. My heart aches that yet again another one of my sisters has to go through this BULL$HIT because of weak A$$ men like them! Let go and let God, Believe me He will put a can of WHOOP A$$ on him too, but He also helps those who help themselves! Peace out and PM me if you like.

[Mags 112]

If he married the other "wife" first, then surely this marriage to the OP is not legal? Therefore the K-1 visa was obtained fraudulently by him? If you can find out when he married this other woman (surely before he came here, so she is his legal wife probably) it will help your case.

Wishing you the best.

[BESANGIN 0]

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Bensagin, where have you been girl?! Go on the cyberchat thread and update us about the baby and what's going on in your life!

[Mags 112]

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

It was just a thought. If the embassy investigators can do the job then that's great too. She just has to make sure that she does fill them in on the fact that their marriage is more than likely not legal or valid.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

It was just a thought. If the embassy investigators can do the job then that's great too. She just has to make sure that she does fill them in on the fact that their marriage is more than likely not legal or valid.

The reality is that in Africa, many marraiges are not legally made. They are traditional marraige ceremonies. There isn't any huge benefit to marrying in the courts legally, so many just skip it altogether. So, he could be married but not what we in America would consider a legal marraige. It could just be a religious ceremony that binds a man and woman in matrimony that doesn't involve government entities at all.

[chispas 0]

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

It was just a thought. If the embassy investigators can do the job then that's great too. She just has to make sure that she does fill them in on the fact that their marriage is more than likely not legal or valid.

The reality is that in Africa, many marraiges are not legally made. They are traditional marraige ceremonies. There isn't any huge benefit to marrying in the courts legally, so many just skip it altogether. So, he could be married but not what we in America would consider a legal marraige. It could just be a religious ceremony that binds a man and woman in matrimony that doesn't involve government entities at all.

True Dat,

[rebeccajo 14]

Mags,

That's easier said than done. How is she going to get her hands on the document? If she is not there to give them a damn bribe then they are not just going to mail her a copy of their marriage certificate out of the kindness of their hearts. She has a better chance of letting the investigators here utilize the embassy investigators to get that info. Hell I don't know why they didn't send their nosey A$$E$ after Bin Laden, 'cause their CSI A$$E$ will do and uncover anything to keep Nigerians from getting visas, and they for sure would have found Bin Laden if they told them he was a Nigerian trying to get in the country fradulently. No offense to anyone but that is how they are trained. The consular officers are trained at the embassy in Nigeria because of it's high fraud rate.

It was just a thought. If the embassy investigators can do the job then that's great too. She just has to make sure that she does fill them in on the fact that their marriage is more than likely not legal or valid.

The reality is that in Africa, many marraiges are not legally made. They are traditional marraige ceremonies. There isn't any huge benefit to marrying in the courts legally, so many just skip it altogether. So, he could be married but not what we in America would consider a legal marraige. It could just be a religious ceremony that binds a man and woman in matrimony that doesn't involve government entities at all.

Well, if that's the case, then even if this errant husband is successful in adjusting his status and naturalizing through the OP, he's going to have a hard time bringing his 'girlfriend' and her children over to the US.

All in all - not a very well thought out plan.

[Perseverance 1]

I see the OP has not been around for a while and I hope she is ok. I was also wondering if the B@stard could be nailed for bigamy here...but I guess she would have to prove that he was married in Nigeria...this whole thing just really upsets me. We are here for you I am truley and sincerely sorry that this happened to you.