Arab Bashing

[Caladan 19]

Dude, wahrania, aren't you in a May-December relationship yourself? It's somewhere beyond the pot calling the kettle black and the kettle losing her sh!t because there is another kettle!!!!one!1!

According to Islam, marriage entail certain legal rights. (This makes it different from some forms of Christianity, but even they will balk at performing a religious ceremony without a legal one.) No legal rights, no Islamic marriage. Maybe a piece of paper that makes it easier to get around in public on holiday, maybe something that's newly acceptable. (Or not. Would the guys be okay with their sisters having this marriage?) But I don't see a way that it's a legally recognized marriage if the person's then filing a K-1.

[~Jackie~ 30]

[S and S 12]

Does anyone remember the tales of marriages in Gretna Green around the border of England and Scotland? That was the Christian version of getting around impossible marriages. You can google "Gretna Green" if you don't know what I am talking about.

[sarahaziz 0]

Wahrania i don't think you like arab women? You really are comming across as trying to start stuff with the 2 of us. I'm not algerian and VW is a hag??

[nana_356 0]

This looks so bad. This is a MENA forum. And us arabs already have a bad name as being violent and un peaceful. Wht cant we all ever just have a discussion, without bringing in all these ugly personal attacks. shame

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

This looks so bad. This is a MENA forum. And us arabs already have a bad name as being violent and un peaceful. Wht cant we all ever just have a discussion, without bringing in all these ugly personal attacks. shame

ita!

[Alhamdulillah 0]

I see VJ is still swarming with self proclaimed internet muftis to tell us all how their version of Islam (which no one has heard of in the past 1400 years) is right because they think they're smarter than everyone else....

There are a lot of fatwa websites and Islamic forums to get answers to these questions or debate your heart out..... I thought this board was for immigration!

[Ban Hammer 13,282]

I see VJ is still swarming with self proclaimed internet muftis to tell us all how their version of Islam (which no one has heard of in the past 1400 years) is right because they think they're smarter than everyone else....

There are a lot of fatwa websites and Islamic forums to get answers to these questions or debate your heart out..... I thought this board was for immigration!

there is vp!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I see VJ is still swarming with self proclaimed internet muftis to tell us all how their version of Islam (which no one has heard of in the past 1400 years) is right because they think they're smarter than everyone else....

There are a lot of fatwa websites and Islamic forums to get answers to these questions or debate your heart out..... I thought this board was for immigration!

Yea, the internet is swarming with rent a fatwa writers and insta-scholars. Critical thinking among Muslims is in short supply. Let's encourage that! We sure don't want anyone thinking for themselves. Cookie-cutter, spoon fed Islam is so much more palpable!

Still, some Muslims like to think and not just follow blindly . . . humdillallah!

Edited April 20, 2008 by Virtual wife

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Lately there has been a lot of stereotyping, bashing and judgmentalism against Arab men, Arab woman, Arab Americans, Arab cultures and Islam among members of this board lately. It seems as if it's ok if a MENA member does it, because we sure make noise when people from other forums come to MENA and do it. That's a double standard.

The bitter, lingering insecurites of a few women involved with Arab men is leeching into the positive support that we give to the many who come here. Why are their insults against Arabs ok? Just because they are involved with Arab men? It it because there are few "authentic" (whatever the hell that is) Arabs here to stand up for themselves? How successful will your relationships be if your negative attitudes about the stock your partner is from prevails?

There is a way to make a constructive point and there is plain, damn negativity. If you're allowing the latter or doing it ourself, you sure have no credibilty to attack others who do it to you.

Someone had to say it, so now, it's said. Go ahead and bash away. There's been plenty of practice here.

Tell it sister.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Dude, wahrania, aren't you in a May-December relationship yourself? It's somewhere beyond the pot calling the kettle black and the kettle losing her sh!t because there is another kettle!!!!one!1!

According to Islam, marriage entail certain legal rights. (This makes it different from some forms of Christianity, but even they will balk at performing a religious ceremony without a legal one.) No legal rights, no Islamic marriage. Maybe a piece of paper that makes it easier to get around in public on holiday, maybe something that's newly acceptable. (Or not. Would the guys be okay with their sisters having this marriage?) But I don't see a way that it's a legally recognized marriage if the person's then filing a K-1.

I am 11 years older and can still have children. I think thats more of an august december marriage than a May December one. I can have children for him. We are not so far apart that he could be my child and we have lots in common.We look very similar in age and have the support of his family. Our son will be wanted and loved and waited for...

As far as these marriages that are spanning 20 years age difference, only the spouses and their husbands know if they will last. MENA mixed marriages do not have the best track record to begin with anyway. Of all the women that I have known that married around 2001 2002 to mena men, I know one still married and they have a child together. Throw having kids into the mix and societal pressures from society both there and here,the odds get worse.

The only thing I can say is each person needs to do their best to be happy. If a 50 year old woman feels secure entering into a marriage with a man in his late 20s or early 30s who has never had kids and is from MENA then she neednt be shocked when he gets his papers and leaves...It s part of the risk...and truly reality and unfortunately .I have seen women clearly used for papers go directly back into another age disparate relationship (20 years or more)and just get used all over again. Love makes us do weird things. My personal belief is that if the woman is alone and her kids are grown,cool. If she still has kids in the house,she needs to think about what that 5 year gig is going to do to them.I watched the adolescent son of a tunisian american marriage commit suicide when they divorced because the mother blamed the son for acting up causing stress and ending the marriage.The tunisian was with a puerto rican girl 2 months later..He sure seemed shattered.NOT.

After watching these boards for over a year, I think most people know what is going on...want reassurance,then do what they want anyway.We all can offer input but whether anyone will listen is another story...

[sarahaziz 0]

Dude, wahrania, aren't you in a May-December relationship yourself? It's somewhere beyond the pot calling the kettle black and the kettle losing her sh!t because there is another kettle!!!!one!1!

According to Islam, marriage entail certain legal rights. (This makes it different from some forms of Christianity, but even they will balk at performing a religious ceremony without a legal one.) No legal rights, no Islamic marriage. Maybe a piece of paper that makes it easier to get around in public on holiday, maybe something that's newly acceptable. (Or not. Would the guys be okay with their sisters having this marriage?) But I don't see a way that it's a legally recognized marriage if the person's then filing a K-1.

I am 11 years older and can still have children. I think thats more of an august december marriage than a May December one. I can have children for him. We are not so far apart that he could be my child and we have lots in common.We look very similar in age and have the support of his family. Our son will be wanted and loved and waited for...

As far as these marriages that are spanning 20 years age difference, only the spouses and their husbands know if they will last. MENA mixed marriages do not have the best track record to begin with anyway. Of all the women that I have known that married around 2001 2002 to mena men, I know one still married and they have a child together. Throw having kids into the mix and societal pressures from society both there and here,the odds get worse.

The only thing I can say is each person needs to do their best to be happy. If a 50 year old woman feels secure entering into a marriage with a man in his late 20s or early 30s who has never had kids and is from MENA then she neednt be shocked when he gets his papers and leaves...It s part of the risk...and truly reality and unfortunately .I have seen women clearly used for papers go directly back into another age disparate relationship (20 years or more)and just get used all over again. Love makes us do weird things. My personal belief is that if the woman is alone and her kids are grown,cool. If she still has kids in the house,she needs to think about what that 5 year gig is going to do to them.I watched the adolescent son of a tunisian american marriage commit suicide when they divorced because the mother blamed the son for acting up causing stress and ending the marriage.The tunisian was with a puerto rican girl 2 months later..He sure seemed shattered.NOT.

After watching these boards for over a year, I think most people know what is going on...want reassurance,then do what they want anyway.We all can offer input but whether anyone will listen is another story...

i agree.