Taking a break

[Saffyre 0]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can’t share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I’ve seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn’t going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn’t see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I’ve chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I’d be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you’ve done all your waiting and say that once it’s over you’ll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

[mox 298]

I totally agree!! And no offence either but seriously......think of some back in August/September last year who took 4 months for their checks to be cashed and NOA1! My NOA2 was about 5 months, so I don't think we should panic over 5 weeks yet!

Obviously it's a little frustrating to see 20-30 day approvals from others around you (believe me, I'm more than a little jealous!) but put it in perspective, a few months and you'll be with your SO forever. I would think it's worth it!

Anyone going in to this process needs to mentally prepare themselves for a 6 month wait. It rarely goes longer, and often goes shorter. If you're stressing after a couple months, you need to take a step back and just realize that the system is what it is, and no amount of anxiety is going to change it. USCIS's position is that it takes 6 months. Settle in for that 6 month wait as soon as your packet hits the post office. If it comes earlier, consider it a bonus.

The hardest part of the wait will be when that first person who applied after you is approved. Your stress levels double and triple at that point. That's why it's important to go into that period in a good mental place. If that means not reading the forums because they depress you, then that's what you should do. There are plenty of things to be doing while you wait, even if it's just building model airplanes or taking long walks. If your fiance(e) doesn't speak English, now would be a good time to start learning his/her language. Do what it takes to keep yourself distracted, because if you're a wreck after a few months, then you're going to be miserable for a very long time.

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can’t share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I’ve seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn’t going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn’t see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I’ve chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I’d be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you’ve done all your waiting and say that once it’s over you’ll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

[Saffyre 0]

I totally agree!! And no offence either but seriously......think of some back in August/September last year who took 4 months for their checks to be cashed and NOA1! My NOA2 was about 5 months, so I don't think we should panic over 5 weeks yet!

Obviously it's a little frustrating to see 20-30 day approvals from others around you (believe me, I'm more than a little jealous!) but put it in perspective, a few months and you'll be with your SO forever. I would think it's worth it!

Anyone going in to this process needs to mentally prepare themselves for a 6 month wait. It rarely goes longer, and often goes shorter. If you're stressing after a couple months, you need to take a step back and just realize that the system is what it is, and no amount of anxiety is going to change it. USCIS's position is that it takes 6 months. Settle in for that 6 month wait as soon as your packet hits the post office. If it comes earlier, consider it a bonus.

The hardest part of the wait will be when that first person who applied after you is approved. Your stress levels double and triple at that point. That's why it's important to go into that period in a good mental place. If that means not reading the forums because they depress you, then that's what you should do. There are plenty of things to be doing while you wait, even if it's just building model airplanes or taking long walks. If your fiance(e) doesn't speak English, now would be a good time to start learning his/her language. Do what it takes to keep yourself distracted, because if you're a wreck after a few months, then you're going to be miserable for a very long time.

Hence my taking (or trying to take) a break....

[Minya's wife 24]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can't share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I've seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn't going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn't see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I've chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I'd be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you've done all your waiting and say that once it's over you'll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

RJ, its never ending....isn't it?

-P

[amerasianlove 0]

I totally understand your feelings coz im on the same boat.I have thought the same thing to take some time off hanging out here on vj and to uscis website too.=) But i cant help not to log on vj,People here are genuinely amazing and sincere and very helpful.

I hope we can get our NOA2 asap! You're from VSC who knows u will get your approval this month.

CHEERS!

Edited March 18, 2008 by mayumi_anthony

[Sal and Jay 2]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can't share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I've seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn't going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn't see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I've chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I'd be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you've done all your waiting and say that once it's over you'll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

RJ, its never ending....isn't it?

-P

The full process goes on for years, so patience is needed. Yes I was lucky to get mine quick but its not my fault I did.

[Saffyre 0]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can't share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I've seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn't going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn't see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I've chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I'd be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you've done all your waiting and say that once it's over you'll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

RJ, its never ending....isn't it?

-P

The full process goes on for years, so patience is needed. Yes I was lucky to get mine quick but its not my fault I did.

Please don't misunderstand, I don't resent your approvals. I just hate that theres no transparancy to how they make their decisions. I'm really pleased for you - and everyone else. Genuinely - that's why I was trying to stay away for a bit, so that people wouldn;t think I was being ar$ey when I said stuff about ;wishing mine would come through'

Honestly thrilled that you got approved quickly...someone has to, right?

[rebeccajo 14]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can't share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I've seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn't going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn't see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I've chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I'd be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you've done all your waiting and say that once it's over you'll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

RJ, its never ending....isn't it?

-P

*sigh*

No kidding, Paula. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been so hurt over those types of comments, and how many times I've nearly quit coming here because of it.

But I just keep coming back. I still can't figure out why.

Since apparently it's selfishness on my part to not be able to remember what the stress was like, I guess it makes me stupid.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

I think most of the frustration comes from the complete randomness of approvals...

[mox 298]

Hence my taking (or trying to take) a break....

Yep. I agree that it could be a good idea. See my original post.

And just to be clear, I know exactly what you're going through. If you go back through some of my posts (not recommended btw ), I railed about the ineptness and unfairness of the system with the best of them. In hindsight I could have been a lot more patient too, and in fact the last few weeks leading up to my approval I did finally just have to step away a bit. I didn't completely leave, but I did cut way back. And it did help.

Best of luck to you.

[Jason-Sasha 1]

Saffyre, go and check out how many May, June and July filers waited 6 months and more. That's really stressful. and Rebeccajo is right. Just because we are past this point doesn't mean we don't remember. In fact, I think the process has scarred all of us. You must do whatever it takes to remain strong and patient. Someone is depending on you to be so. When Sasha and I got stressed we had to hold each other up with words of encouragement. And finally, after 220 days since filing, we will be together in less than a week! You've already made it through 40 days. I doubt you'll have to wait the full 6 months for approval. You're fortunate. if you would like some inspiration, I'd direct you to look at ZeeNusah's profile. Or OsLoraTam's profile. Or Charlene, or Virgillionaire..... See my point? Everything will work out.

[*JG* 2]

I am actually glad I was not on this board much when I was going through the initial K-1 stuff. Sure, I could've used some of the advice on filing. But, I think it would've driven me crazy to hear all the news every day.

I only checked my status once a week on line and I refused to check for touches every day. That is the only way I kept my sanity.

I completely understand what you are saying.

Hang in there. Soon it will be just be a memory!

[Saffyre 0]

Thanks to all who replied. I have read a few of the threads that have been off topic etc, but tried to stay away from the progress and filing reports.

I totally understand and appreciate that other people have waited a lot longer then me. I never once disputed that fact. What has gotten me in a twist is the seemingly random pattern that the approvals follow. Could I still be waiting when summertime has been and gone, when other people are just speeding through in a matter of weeks? That is why I chose to take a break – so as not to torture myself with the fact that others are just luckier than I am. Not because I believe that I am the only person who is waiting.

I genuinely feel for those people at CSC, I truly do. It sucks that they can't share out the workload or do something to even the playing field a little. However, people there do at least seem to move in some kind of chronological order – from what I've seen (not that I am claiming to be the expert) At VSC there is just no way to judge, and to still be waiting when those who file almost a month after you are approved seems harsh, and unfair.

So there, I said it.

This is why I wasn't going to respond to the earlier comments – because frankly I didn't see the need. But the only reason I posted in the first place was because I've chatted with some lovely folk on here and I just wanted to let them know that I'd be back and where I was gone. Not because I was expecting a pity party or anything similar…..

I would guess it extremely easy to look back in hindsight after you've done all your waiting and say that once it's over you'll forget all about the stress….but try and remember how it felt when you were the one going through the stress.

Anyway, enough said. Wishing speedy approvals to all.

Saffy x

Just because you're 'done' doesn't mean you don't remember.

RJ, its never ending....isn't it?

-P

*sigh*

No kidding, Paula. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been so hurt over those types of comments, and how many times I've nearly quit coming here because of it.

But I just keep coming back. I still can't figure out why.

Since apparently it's selfishness on my part to not be able to remember what the stress was like, I guess it makes me stupid.

I think you're taking my comments out of context. I'm not trying to upset anyone hre - all I wanted to do was take a breather and destress, and i've had several PM's telling me that you forget all about the waiting once the process is over. So if you're not the one who PM'ed me, then it's not meant for you. Either way, i've had some fairly nasty PM's so I just thought i'd respond in a public forum since I didn;t want to get into a backbiting b*tchfest.

We're all in or have been in the same boat - frustration gets to us...at whatever stage we're at - do we really have to try and upset each other? Because I have consciously tried NOT to do that.

I think most of the frustration comes from the complete randomness of approvals...

That's exactly it.

Hence my taking (or trying to take) a break....

Yep. I agree that it could be a good idea. See my original post.

And just to be clear, I know exactly what you're going through. If you go back through some of my posts (not recommended btw ), I railed about the ineptness and unfairness of the system with the best of them. In hindsight I could have been a lot more patient too, and in fact the last few weeks leading up to my approval I did finally just have to step away a bit. I didn't completely leave, but I did cut way back. And it did help.

Best of luck to you.

Thanks I probably wont read your posts just because, i'm trying not to spend too much time on here. This is what happens when I run out of work to do in an afternoon!!

[Saffyre 0]

Saffyre, go and check out how many May, June and July filers waited 6 months and more. That's really stressful. and Rebeccajo is right. Just because we are past this point doesn't mean we don't remember. In fact, I think the process has scarred all of us. You must do whatever it takes to remain strong and patient. Someone is depending on you to be so. When Sasha and I got stressed we had to hold each other up with words of encouragement. And finally, after 220 days since filing, we will be together in less than a week! You've already made it through 40 days. I doubt you'll have to wait the full 6 months for approval. You're fortunate. if you would like some inspiration, I'd direct you to look at ZeeNusah's profile. Or OsLoraTam's profile. Or Charlene, or Virgillionaire..... See my point? Everything will work out.

Yep - i've seen some of your timelines and you guys are stronger than I think i'll ever be!

He doesn't get stressed about it, the stress is all mine. He is very chilled and just tells me to relax and 'go with the flow'......Grrrr

I am actually glad I was not on this board much when I was going through the initial K-1 stuff. Sure, I could've used some of the advice on filing. But, I think it would've driven me crazy to hear all the news every day.

I only checked my status once a week on line and I refused to check for touches every day. That is the only way I kept my sanity.

I completely understand what you are saying.

Hang in there. Soon it will be just be a memory!

How in the world did you do that? I have limited myself to three times a day on USCIS site, Morning, Noon and Night....but i'm just itching for my file to be 'touched' so I know they're doing something with it....Ehh I just got myself a second job though so maybe that'l keep me out of mischeif.