Preparing Home for Vietnamese Fiance

[b_weeks 6]

Thanks for all the replies.

There are a couple of good Vietnamese markets close by. I use 1 of them when I need to send her money. I also have VN friends (married) that said they would sort of adopt her as a sister so she VN friends to hang out with or talk to.

Our winters and springs are cold and wet. She LOVES stuff from "Bath & Body Works" I have been stocking up on lotions and such for her.

Already have the chopsticks. Bought a nice big set during my last visit yo VN.

Can you guys elaborate on "Feng shui setup in your house" ??? I have heard the term but never actually seen one.

Her family already has a computer, ADSL, and a yahoo account. This will be their 2nd daghter married to an American. They chat weekly wih the other daughter.

I've heard you can't take any of the Fish Sauce (Nuoc Mam) or sauces out of Vietnam. I heard the airlines won't allow them in baggage, and also heard customs won't allow it.

[Niels Bohr 72]

Feng Shui

Hmmm...It's superstitious thing around the indo-china region of the world. The way you arrange furniture, and lighting will channel the flow of energy to make you prosper. You want to put plants in the nooks and crannies (corners) of the house to absorb all the dark energy. Place religious mortifs in their proper direction (N,S,E,W). Most people practice Theravada Buddhism, and incorporate them into Feng Shui. Make sure the front entrance is not blocked. It's best if you read a short book on Feng Shui.

[cao 0]

My friend,

we are all the same boat. I knew that we cannot take with you Fish Sauce (nuoc mam) on aircraft. However, if you live near VN hometown such as Houston ... in Texas, or Orange COunty , San Jose (California), you can stop by to shop. Even you are faraway from that, you can order online and mostly they will ship to you. I had relatives living in CHicago and when they need VN stuff (food, houseware, ....) I ship to them from Orange County (Cali.) those are very cheap comparing American food.

SOrry if my english is not easy to understand (thought in Vietnamese way) you can ask any VN tradition, custom, I will help

[Teacher Mark 53]

My friend,

we are all the same boat. I knew that we cannot take with you Fish Sauce (nuoc mam) on aircraft. However, if you live near VN hometown such as Houston ... in Texas, or Orange COunty , San Jose (California), you can stop by to shop. Even you are faraway from that, you can order online and mostly they will ship to you. I had relatives living in CHicago and when they need VN stuff (food, houseware, ....) I ship to them from Orange County (Cali.) those are very cheap comparing American food.

SOrry if my english is not easy to understand (thought in Vietnamese way) you can ask any VN tradition, custom, I will help

I think if you contact Union Carbide, FMC or Dupont you may be able to buy that stuff in a 55 gallon drum.

Sorry, couldn't resist. It takes ALOT of getting used to and I'm not there yet!

Edited March 11, 2008 by WideAwakeInTheUSA

[nane1104 146]

I am not vietnamese, but I can tell you how I felt when I got to the US first.

My now husband didn't have anything realy prepared or bought for me. After we got marrid and were back from our honeymoon, we started buying furniture for the house,, went grocery shopping together so i could see, what th american market has to offer and what I'd like to try. He bought anything I wanted, it was hilarious!

We found a couple stores that carry german foods also and in Dallas, which is 3 hours away, there was a german grocery store my hubby took me to as well.

I thought it was really nice that we did all that together.

I think your fiancee would for sure be happy about something that reminds her of home and that shows her that her culture is important for you. But I suggest, buy maybe one thing first, kinda like a symbol that you want her to feel home and offer her to go shopping with her so she can have some more things she needs.

[LuckyDucky 0]

I feel the same way. I think going shopping with my fiancee will be a wonderful experience where she can see a lot of what shopping is like in the US as well as emotional bonding.

That being said, I think picking up a few staple spices and sauces is thoughtful, too! But I would hold off on big purchases unless you think it's something she'll need from day one. In my case, that was a coffee machine, but I questioned her about it and got an idea of what she would like.

All of my preparations have mostly been making room for her. I've cleaned out drawer space for her in the bathroom, closet space, etc. But mostly I'm looking forward to when we can make decisions together about what she'll want in the house.

Best of luck! I think it's very sweet that you are thinking about this.

[Teacher Mark 53]

I am currently engaged to a wonderful Vietnamese woman. I am wanting to start getting the house ready for her.

What items have other Vietnam VJ'ers bought to prepare their homes for their loved ones???

Bill, You may know this already but there are Vietnamese stores in Louisville:

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=gmai...louisville%20ky

Since I travel for a living I am always on the look out for Vietnamese Grocery stores. I LOVE the coffee!

[ridejewel 0]

I found that everything I liked, she hated. I think that it's a good idea to wait for her to come here, then take her to your local 'little saigon' and have her buy what she may like. Even buying fish sauce here in the States can be a bad decision, for there are many different brands that taste totally different. And, me, as a man who won't ever eat fish sauce, I can't discern the difference between what is good and what is bad. So, I waited and let her pick her desires.

[CK&Tydi 0]

Well, I know how you felt. Been there done that. You want to get everything ready for your wife when she gets here. The answer will be: You can not. You should get all the necessity (her daily use stuff) Don't buy too much of it. Just a little for her to use for few days. Then take her to the shopping mall and let she picks the items she wants. This way, you will not waste a lot of money on things that she did not like. Like Ridejewel said, thing he liked and his wife hated. For sure, in the next few months, your place will look completly difference. :=) will get the woman touch on it. Just try not to argue with her, let she feels like it is her home. I know it will be hard to get use to it BUT that the way it is. Good Luck!

[ridejewel 0]

I think the hardest part of having a wife from another country is the driving aspect. It's hard to get them use to driving cars, and to trust that they won't get into an accident....? It's hard. The driving experience is so different in the States than it is in 'Nam. My advice to newbies is, 'get use to driving your wife around, especially to 'lil Saigon's and or family.' Hey, if anyone has any advice for me about how to get my wife accustomed to save driving and cultured to the American interstates, please, send me a message.

[Teacher Mark 53]

I think the hardest part of having a wife from another country is the driving aspect. It's hard to get them use to driving cars, and to trust that they won't get into an accident....? It's hard. The driving experience is so different in the States than it is in 'Nam. My advice to newbies is, 'get use to driving your wife around, especially to 'lil Saigon's and or family.' Hey, if anyone has any advice for me about how to get my wife accustomed to save driving and cultured to the American interstates, please, send me a message.

We were just watching a movie last night with a huge 70's style station wagon in it. I half jokingly said that was the type of car I was going to get! In reality I'll probably get her a Volvo Cross Country. They look pretty good and the safety aspect of a Volvo speaks for itself. That doesn't cover the insurance aspect of that particular dilemma though!

[Melrose Plant 1]

I guess I've got to figure out a place to get chicken heads and feet. I think I've got a line on that one, even though the guy thinks I'm absolutely nuts. Also, shrimp (and other seafood) that hasn't been decapitated. That may be a tough one around here. I'm sure she'll adapt.

[chuckandkim 0]

me, as a man who won't ever eat fish sauce,

Calling yourself a man, and can't take a spoon full of fishsauce? No self-respecting vietnamese nor vietnamese-lite wouldn't use fishsauce in their dietary. You just need to get the kind of fishsauce you like, mix it up with garlics, lime, sugar and some hot chilly peppers, oh so good... think EGGROLLS, Chả Giò and Gỏi Cuốn. YUMMMM!

[Kevin and 10]

me, as a man who won't ever eat fish sauce,

Calling yourself a man, and can't take a spoon full of fishsauce? No self-respecting vietnamese nor vietnamese-lite wouldn't use fishsauce in their dietary. You just need to get the kind of fishsauce you like, mix it up with garlics, lime, sugar and some hot chilly peppers, oh so good... think EGGROLLS, Chả Giò and Gỏi Cuốn. YUMMMM!

3 Crab nuoc mam is what I buy. You can always dilute it with some water when you mix dipping sauce, its not the same though.

[pannyzero 0]

First of all, I would like to say " preparing yourself for her getting upset and homesick." To live here,She has to adjust herself A LOT. Trying to understand her and calming her down will be helpful. I suggest you to find the suit way that she can talk to her family and friends in Vietnam such as Skype or Pingo (I use this one) or any VOIP.

If you have some free times, I think you should try to do some research on where your fiance can meet "good" people from her country or can make friends with some persons that have the same background as hers.

However, My suggestion bases on my experiences.