Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 6)

[brownnskinn 0]

Some women are worse than men. I just can't see the man having a woman friend thing or vise versa. Unless we are all hangin out, and we all know each other and even still it wouldn't sit right with me.

[*JG* 2]

Some women are worse than men. I just can't see the man having a woman friend thing or vise versa. Unless we are all hangin out, and we all know each other and even still it wouldn't sit right with me.

What do you mean here? You can't see a man having a lady friend? Or what are you saying?

[Jengles 0]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

[brownnskinn 0]

Some women are worse than men. I just can't see the man having a woman friend thing or vise versa. Unless we are all hangin out, and we all know each other and even still it wouldn't sit right with me.

What do you mean here? You can't see a man having a lady friend? Or what are you saying?

No I can't see a man having a lady friend or man woman having a man friend... Personally for example...I just feel that there comes a time when usually the man wants more. I've ended several friendships with men because the conversations or situations turned uncomfortable.....Not saying that all situtations are like that jus the ones I've encountered.

[Yaads 0]

A quick google search...

Definition: An emotional affair is a secret relationship that involves intimate sharings with some one other than a spouse.

If a person is no longer confiding thoughts and feelings with his/her spouse, the individual is either in an emotional affair or ready for one.

Examples: For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequences of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/g/...ionalaffair.htm

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.

Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair.

Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed. http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/ss...nalaffair_2.htm

Edited March 5, 2008 by Yardiewife

[brownnskinn 0]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I thinkin it can be both ways. I think flirting can be strictly physical. Heck I flirt. But when you to get to confiding in another man or woman that's different, you look foward to your interactions with the other person, they start to make you feel good( need being met) They are forfilling a neet not being met by the husband or wife or not realizing their need can only be met by the MAN ABOVE. They are headed for trouble.

[*JG* 2]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I think it boils down to how you feel when you are saying whatever it is you are saying. If it's something you feel you can't tell your spouse, then it probably is wrong to be discussing it with another person.

If you are fishing, isn't the fat lady singing anyhow? Why would someone even "fish" if they didnt' think they needed to move on?

[Jengles 0]

A quick google search...

Definition: An emotional affair is a secret relationship that involves intimate sharings with some one other than a spouse.

If a person is no longer confiding thoughts and feelings with his/her spouse, the individual is either in an emotional affair or ready for one.

Examples: For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequences of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/g/...ionalaffair.htm

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.

Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair.

Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/ss...nalaffair_2.htm

Ok no not down with any secret relationship,

[*JG* 2]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I thinkin it can be both ways. I think flirting can be strictly physical. Heck I flirt. But when you to get to confiding in another man or woman that's different, you look foward to your interactions with the other person, they start to make you feel good( need being met) They are forfilling a neet not being met by the husband or wife or not realizing their need can only be met by the MAN ABOVE. They are headed for trouble.

Everyone flirts at some point. The key is are you doing or saying something you could not do in front of your husband/wife? If so, then you've crossed the line.

[Jengles 0]

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I thinkin it can be both ways. I think flirting can be strictly physical. Heck I flirt. But when you to get to confiding in another man or woman that's different, you look foward to your interactions with the other person, they start to make you feel good( need being met) They are forfilling a neet not being met by the husband or wife or not realizing their need can only be met by the MAN ABOVE. They are headed for trouble.

Ok so what happens when the other party realizes what is happening and steps in? and says i am uncomfortable with this relationship, let's say then the person talks to his/her SO and says the reason why i was sharing things with the other person is because we were growing aprart and they work on it. I think at that point the relationship can be saved, no??

Cheating is cheating....and that is anything he wouldn`t do in front of me

I agree with both of the last 2 posts on this subject.

We are all adults here. We know what friendship entails and when know when it crosses over the boundry into something else. If he's hiding stuff from you, that boundry has been crossed. If me or my husband can't say something in the presence of the other to one of our "friends" then we have a problem.

agree with what i've bolded

but i'm thinking i'm not understanding what emotional cheating is! i'm thinking that it is stuff u should be telling your wife and your not, maybe because the two of you have grown apart, i'm picking up from the other posts..that in really almost come in like flirting?? is this right?? like fishing to see if u can go there (sexually)

I think it boils down to how you feel when you are saying whatever it is you are saying. If it's something you feel you can't tell your spouse, then it probably is wrong to be discussing it with another person.

If you are fishing, isn't the fat lady singing anyhow? Why would someone even "fish" if they didnt' think they needed to move on?

Plenty of men fish without thinking they need to move on, lol

[*JG* 2]

A quick google search...

Definition: An emotional affair is a secret relationship that involves intimate sharings with some one other than a spouse.

If a person is no longer confiding thoughts and feelings with his/her spouse, the individual is either in an emotional affair or ready for one.

Examples: For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequences of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/g/...ionalaffair.htm

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.

Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair.

Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/ss...nalaffair_2.htm

Ok no not down with any secret relationship,

I agree. My husand can have all the female friends he wants. But, to hide a single one is a clear indication that something is wrong with our trust issues.

My husband is not privvy to every single conversation I have with my male friends, nor does he accompany me every time I may see some of them. Same holds true for him. My conversations and actions would always be the same whether I was in front of him or not. If I can't say or do something in front of him, it is a problem.

[*SunRay* 1]

For flights, try farecompare.com - you can do a flexible date search, and then click down to the dates you want to leave and come back - I found a $240 RT direct flight on Delta through that site - leaving on Friday, which is usually a more expensive day to fly.

That's an awesome price...

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

A quick google search...

Definition: An emotional affair is a secret relationship that involves intimate sharings with some one other than a spouse.

If a person is no longer confiding thoughts and feelings with his/her spouse, the individual is either in an emotional affair or ready for one.

Examples: For some individuals, the most hurtful and painful consequences of an emotional affair is the sense of being deceived, betrayed, and lied to.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/g/...ionalaffair.htm

An emotional affair is when a person not only invests more of their emotional energy outside their marriage, but also receives emotional support and companionship from the new relationship.

In an emotional affair, a person feels closer to the other party and may experience increasing sexual tension.

If you believe that a person's emotional energy is limited, then if your spouse is sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with someone else, an emotional affair has developed.

Although cheaters are often guilt-free in an emotional affair because there is no sex involved, their spouses often view an emotional affair as damaging as a sexual affair.

Much of the pain and hurt from an emotional affair is due to the deception, lies, and feelings of being betrayed.

http://marriage.about.com/od/infidelity/ss...nalaffair_2.htm

Ok no not down with any secret relationship,

I agree. My husand can have all the female friends he wants. But, to hide a single one is a clear indication that something is wrong with our trust issues.

My husband is not privvy to every single conversation I have with my male friends, nor does he accompany me every time I may see some of them. Same holds true for him. My conversations and actions would always be the same whether I was in front of him or not. If I can't say or do something in front of him, it is a problem.

I agree. I would tell my ex he can have my cellphone at any time, keep it all day for all I care. Because NONE of my male friends can tell you that we have anything more than a friendship. Now, can my EX do the same...HELL NO!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Yes, I can agree with that.

But I also feel that the wife doesn`t mean much to them either if they are willing to disrespect her by cheating.

Men will do what they feel they can get away with.

If they were 100% sure the wife would leave, then they wouldn`t...

I agree 100%!

Me too.

Which is why it is important to set ground rules and stick by them.

but sometimes isn't that hard?? One always knows what should be done....but what actually gets done is sometimes something different.

i.e. English's friend who went back to her boyfriend or whatever he is to her and now he's making kid number 2 with the baby mother. Deep in her heart she knew she should have left him the first time she found out and look at what has happened now??

JENGS........wake up....wake up

fi real, i was on time today, so the day is going to drag,

??? Here's my question for the day and when thinking about the answer let's try to leave our husband's/SO's out of it.

Do you believe the statement. She means nothing to me, when a man is caught cheating? Men (friends) have told me over and over again that men can sleep with a woman and have zero feelings for her. From observing men, I in part do belive that statement to be true, but when it goes on for a long time, that's when i'm like NOT. Long time meaning years and then they start having kids and all that stuff and he's still with his wife.

I'm awake now

She means something to him. If a man cheats on his wife, that other woman had some sort of pull, even if it was just to stroke his ego to know someone else still wants him. She meant enough for him to completely disrespect his wife and the vows of marriage he made.

That being said, I think a man can have casual affairs without it meaning any matter of the heart. He can have sex without being in love with the woman, sometimes without even really liking her. Women are usually much tougher on their hearts in these matters.

The very first time he cheated it would mean something to me. Something I could never forgive nor forget.

I agree 100%. I wasn't until recently I found out my ex is/was engaged to another woman in Jamaica. Doesn't even make sense for me to confront him about it now. It just explains (A LOT), him never wanted to take me to Jamaica with him the 10 years we've been together. That was the LAST thing on my mind, besides, I would have NEVER forgiven him. When men have cheated on my in the past, all I ask for is a little honesty. I won't take you back, but I'll have a LITTLE respect for you down the road. Just be honest. Like grandmother would say...bettah u HURT me now, than HURT me later.

but isn't he with someone else up here??

YES Jengs, im have a next woman up here too.

[Marlita 0]

She means something to him. If a man cheats on his wife, that other woman had some sort of pull, even if it was just to stroke his ego to know someone else still wants him. She meant enough for him to completely disrespect his wife and the vows of marriage he made.

That being said, I think a man can have casual affairs without it meaning any matter of the heart. He can have sex without being in love with the woman, sometimes without even really liking her. Women are usually much tougher on their hearts in these matters.

The very first time he cheated it would mean something to me. Something I could never forgive nor forget.

I agree that a man can cheat and it not have any love sort of attachment to it. I believe that men are more tempted to cheat just for the fact that they are born male and in this society they are given this sexual prowess which can cause some serious damage to a long term and committed realtionship. I think that men have been having sex with woman they dont truly care about since the first time they lost their virginity so its not a shocker that it can still go on into adulthood and even after they are married. however, it doenst mean its right. And yes some men can have sex with you without even liking you...thats an odder man than most but it does happen.

After all this, i also believe that a man that has been truly convicted of his heart cannot continue to have sex with you if he is not emotionally in that relationship anymore. Sort of a situation where you notice the man doesnt want sex as much as he did before. Not having anything to do with being sick, or stressed but just some "odd" reason not wanting it from you anymore...thats also a red flag..to me...that he is getting it from somewhere else. Now even though a guy may cheat I don't think it bad that a woman stays with him. You cannot turn off love in the drop of a hat just because someone cheats....sad but very true. I do believe it hard to forgive, and you will NEVER forget so quit trying to. You will just have to honsetly forgive him and make a conscious effort to every day until it gets easier for you. I don;t think that by forgiving someone you are weak and telling them to cheat again. I think the man must take some responsibility for his actions and know that he hurt someone who truly cared for him. If he wants to be forgiven it must stop (cheating) from then on, and he must make an effort to help heal his partners heart. Otherwise he can also make the decision to leave the relationship and spare the partner added hurt and turmoil. I believe that it is good for the mind body and spirit to have a forgiving heart that is not burdened down. But it is also good not to endure continuing pain inflicted from a consistently cheating spouse. So in that regard it take two to rectify a relationship after the cheating has occured.