So.... how are the driving lessons going?

[Brad and Vika 129]

HELP!

I have a Russian daughter who will be turning 16 within the year, and all she talks about is driving. Her mom (wife, of course) is absolutely the worst driver I have been in a car with.

What I need help with here are some "excuses" (not necessarily honest, BS is okay) as to why she (daughter) may have to postpone driving for a year or two. All suggestions/ideas appreciated.

How are her grades? If her grades are not great, then a perfect and legitimate excuse is that the insurance will be too high until she gets her grades up. That gives her a target to shoot for, and gives you time to adjust to the fact that eventually she will be driving.

Capital idea - just tie grades to the driving. Actually driving the car is a priviledge completely independent of her getting a license. This seems a win-win, but won't delay her driving if she is already a good student.

Edited August 3, 2008 by Brad and Vika

[slim 1,514]

Just tell her she has to prove she's better than mom.

[Bobalouie 0]

Do you really think a 16-year old is so dumb.... Or are you projecting mother's qualities.... ?

Forgive me, but you sound mean spirited. Perhaps I sound mean to you.

If I asked you to help me select something red, would you condemn me for choosing red?

If I asked you to help me select the best whip for whipping my kid, would you calmly give me relevant advice?

You didn't ask for help with something neutral; it's disrespectful toward your almost-adult kid and I hate to see people being disrespectful toward their grown children. Here's my advice: my husband drove since he was 15, though I'm sure his mom freaked out just as much. As of today, he's never been in an accident. Give your kid a benefit of a doubt.

Sure, Hickory is a good choice, or if you are wanting something with less thump and more sting, a good willow branch. Nothing off the ground either, only broken straight from the tree.

[Neonred 3,518]

HELP!

I have a Russian daughter who will be turning 16 within the year, and all she talks about is driving. Her mom (wife, of course) is absolutely the worst driver I have been in a car with.

What I need help with here are some "excuses" (not necessarily honest, BS is okay) as to why she (daughter) may have to postpone driving for a year or two. All suggestions/ideas appreciated.

How about "not until after you take drivers ed"?

That's what I did with my kids.

[slim 1,514]

For the question about BSing the daughter about not driving, how about a good, stern, "NO". Parents all too often avoid this route now and it used to be the best way to go. Works every time and there's no way around it.

Along with a good solid "NO", how about "allowing" her to drive once she's earned enough money to pay for driver's ed, purchase a car, pay for insurance, gas, repairs, etc. That's usually a good enough delay until it's no longer your decision to make for her.

Drivers of the world BEWARE. Tuesday afternoon she has her first try at her drivers test. The American roads may never be as safe or even the same. She read my previous post about wishing I could bribe the guy giving her the test to fail her and since she is now speaking to me again I won't say much more. Of course when you say something that gets you into trouble sometimes them not speaking to you can be the best thing that can happen. You begin to understand the true meaning of the expression "Silence is Golden"

TG, I know where you're coming from! One of the first nuggets of Russian wisdom I learned after my wife arrived was "Tishina zolota." Works extremely well when she's x-tra pissed off. "Honey, it's so nice that you're not talking to me anymore. Tishina zolota." (You may get some words after that.... not so nice words, but it's worth it because then you can learn some more Russian language!)

[workin4somethin 0]

She makes good grades in school. However, she is loud and obnoxious; and, she handles a car and riding mower like they are play toys rather than with any skill or control. She knows only one speed, and she thinks it's normal to run into things. I realize that just saying "No" is one way to handle it, although she always asks why in such situations? Somehow, telling her she can't drive because she stinks at it, doesn't seem like the approach to go with, even though it is most accurate. I plan to hire a professional instructor for individual driving lessons sometime after she turns 16. In our state, one that age must first pass a written exam then wait 6 months before taking the actual driving portion of the test. If I feel it is necessary, I plan to manipulate this timeframe a bit, extending the overall time period. I have also thought about using the driving age in Russia (age 18) as a requirement, but her older brothers and many of her friends were not subject to that. I will probably lay down some stringent rules, combining the satisfactory completion of driving lessons with the necessity for her to share in the costs of financing (car, insurance & gas). Thanks for the suggestions.

[slim 1,514]

However, she is loud and obnoxious; and, she handles a car and riding mower like they are play toys rather than with any skill or control. She knows only one speed, and she thinks it's normal to run into things.

No way! Not a young Russian woman!

[Turboguy 6]

Well the last post I made about my wife was that the "first try" at her drivers test would be yesterday. That was a proper guess. The next try will be the 24th.

First off, being a Russian woman she went to the test in heels. She can't drive in heels so she wanted to take her test barefoot. The instructor had a fit. Finally after 10 minutes in the office he came out and said it was illegal in the state he used to live in but there is nothing in PA regulations against it. In the meantime she had put my shoes on and I was standing there in my stocking feet.

Well she pulled out, made a left and went up the wrong side of the road. Instant falure. She aced the paralell parking but did not use turn signals in our out, so that was another black mark. She also just glaced back when pulling out. In the test area she knew no one else would be coming so did not look as thoroughly as they wanted. They skipped the road part since she had already failed and she was there in tears.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Well the last post I made about my wife was that the "first try" at her drivers test would be yesterday. That was a proper guess. The next try will be the 24th.

First off, being a Russian woman she went to the test in heels. She can't drive in heels so she wanted to take her test barefoot. The instructor had a fit. Finally after 10 minutes in the office he came out and said it was illegal in the state he used to live in but there is nothing in PA regulations against it. In the meantime she had put my shoes on and I was standing there in my stocking feet.

Well she pulled out, made a left and went up the wrong side of the road. Instant falure. She aced the paralell parking but did not use turn signals in our out, so that was another black mark. She also just glaced back when pulling out. In the test area she knew no one else would be coming so did not look as thoroughly as they wanted. They skipped the road part since she had already failed and she was there in tears.

Sorry to hear it. She will do better next time

[slim 1,514]

Well the last post I made about my wife was that the "first try" at her drivers test would be yesterday. That was a proper guess. The next try will be the 24th.

First off, being a Russian woman she went to the test in heels. She can't drive in heels so she wanted to take her test barefoot. The instructor had a fit. Finally after 10 minutes in the office he came out and said it was illegal in the state he used to live in but there is nothing in PA regulations against it. In the meantime she had put my shoes on and I was standing there in my stocking feet.

Well she pulled out, made a left and went up the wrong side of the road. Instant falure. She aced the paralell parking but did not use turn signals in our out, so that was another black mark. She also just glaced back when pulling out. In the test area she knew no one else would be coming so did not look as thoroughly as they wanted. They skipped the road part since she had already failed and she was there in tears.

Well, at least there were no porches involved!

We made several trips to the BMV as well, it's all part of the process. She will get it after the fourth or fifth time.

The good news is... it gets better. My wife's been driving daily now and she's doing quite well. Not to the point where I'm excited about "riding" in the car with her (I'll drive, sweety pie.) but I don't really feel like I'm taking a chance with my life anymore. Upping my probability to be invlolved in an accident, sure, but not a life-threatening accident any more. More like a fender-bender.

You'll get there someday TG!

[Turboguy 6]

I have a feeling the next time will go better. Actually she drives pretty good now but just does something once in a while that scares me to death. For example she starts school on September 2nd. We were going up to her school for testing and you have to make a left on a busy road. There is a trafic light with a left turn arrow so it should not be a problem. There is one lane straight with two signals and then a sign for left turn and a third light with the red light or green left arrow. She saw one lane for straight and two green lights and was all ready to make her left turn just as a bunch of cars were zooming towards us and even though the left turn light was red. If I hadn't stopped her I probably would not be alive since they would have hit my side of the car.

We are now going down to DMV and running the whole driver test course with me making even the smallest corrrections in what she does so hopefully the next time will go ok. She hopes for her drivers liscence before she starts school so I don't have to take her. Actually I would rather take her than visit her in the hospital after a wreck.

[Ban Hammer 13,113]

i surprised any of you have any hair left after some of these stories i've read. i'd have done pulled all of mine out!

[slim 1,514]

I think they really are careful and cautious while they're out there, it's just that we're so used to seeing things "before" they happen and then subsequently making the right choice on what to safely do, that when they actually do something that's "almost" dangerous, we're ready to have a heart attack.

Turning left into oncoming traffic really would make me $#!T my pants though!

When my wife first started driving, I was waiting for "the call" every day for the first week or so. Then the first month. Now, I figure if she's made it this long, she should be just fine. Still keep my phone handy but I know she's doing a good job and I don't worry about it anymore.

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

Since my wife started driving it was a lot less stressful and less guilt around the house. She was no longer stuck at home. She drives very well but I dont ride with her much, she gets a little upset that I dont like to let her drive but I tell her that I am a man and the rules state that I get to drive. She just calls me silly and that usually ends it.

As far as letting a 16 year old drive, to me it doesnt matter if you are 16 or 116, the young adults of today have no concept what a privilege it is to drive. First they want to drive then they decide that the $2000 car you are going to let them use is not good enough.

Now I want to hear about what pieces of ####### everyone drove as their first car.

I had a 1979 Chevrolet Chevette, no floors in the front seat, engine burned oil like it was gasoline, and I had to share it with my sister who was under the impression that the gas tank magically filled itself up every friday night just so she could go out with her friends.

[slim 1,514]

I had an '85 Olds Cutless Sierra. Bought it, drove it home and on the way it threw a rod. Had to buy a wrecked one and change the engines out before I had even driven it around.

Being a true "gangsta" in high school, I had more money invested in my stereo/speakers, rims, and that little gold crown sitting in the back window than I did in the whole rest of the car.

Keepin in tradition though, when I sold it, the engine died within a month and the guy that bought it from me tried to sell it back to me. "No thanks, I'm not interested."