January Filers at the CSC - How are you doing?

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Maybe I'm stupid but I still have hopes...

Good Morning All - ready for another big day of approvals?

MissYoko, I think Rachel said it very well yesterday or the day before about adjusting to the immediate aftermath of a visit. It took time for her to adjust back to the state of seperation, and I'm sure that you have had to go through the same thing. Like you, I do not spend much time in the VSC thread, however, my sense of "injustice" has largely faded and my focus is on the future. You're not stupid for being hopeful at all. Your approval will come, that is not in question - it's just the timing that is unknown. You can believe in that.

Cecile - I am so happy for you and Brian. While there might be some advantages to living in the same arrangements in his friend's house, the disadvantages are so much larger. I think one of the most important things that newlyweds can do is create their own identity ( a sense of "us" rather than just you + me ). That means the in-laws and sibs, friends and aquaintances should back off and allow the couple to find their own way. I've seen many times where couples have run into problems because of too much involvement by well meaning friends and family. Having a space of your own will allow you two to grow together. I don't think you'll have any problems making friends (you have one here already -me!). Congrats also for reaching 101 - by the end of the day you'll be sub-100, fantastic.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Cecile - I am so happy for you and Brian. While there might be some advantages to living in the same arrangements in his friend's house, the disadvantages are so much larger. I think one of the most important things that newlyweds can do is create their own identity ( a sense of "us" rather than just you + me ). That means the in-laws and sibs, friends and aquaintances should back off and allow the couple to find their own way. I've seen many times where couples have run into problems because of too much involvement by well meaning friends and family. Having a space of your own will allow you two to grow together. I don't think you'll have any problems making friends (you have one here already -me!). Congrats also for reaching 101 - by the end of the day you'll be sub-100, fantastic.

That's just what my mother says! But seriously, it is very good advice. It's a shame that it's not really an affordable option for me.

Cecile - it's strange, I keep thinking it's Tuesday, too.

Alex said to me yesterday that there is a very, very, infinitesimal chance that his parents will be moving to northern California and would rent their house out to us. I'm not allowing myself to get my hopes up about it, but if it happened it would be amazing. We'd have a lovely, well-maintained house to live in for cheaper than we'd have any hope of finding elsewhere in the Bay Area.

Edited April 30, 2008 by Alex & Rachel

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

Maybe I'm stupid but I still have hopes...

Good Morning All - ready for another big day of approvals?

MissYoko, I think Rachel said it very well yesterday or the day before about adjusting to the immediate aftermath of a visit. It took time for her to adjust back to the state of seperation, and I'm sure that you have had to go through the same thing. Like you, I do not spend much time in the VSC thread, however, my sense of "injustice" has largely faded and my focus is on the future. You're not stupid for being hopeful at all. Your approval will come, that is not in question - it's just the timing that is unknown. You can believe in that.

Cecile - I am so happy for you and Brian. While there might be some advantages to living in the same arrangements in his friend's house, the disadvantages are so much larger. I think one of the most important things that newlyweds can do is create their own identity ( a sense of "us" rather than just you + me ). That means the in-laws and sibs, friends and aquaintances should back off and allow the couple to find their own way. I've seen many times where couples have run into problems because of too much involvement by well meaning friends and family. Having a space of your own will allow you two to grow together. I don't think you'll have any problems making friends (you have one here already -me!). Congrats also for reaching 101 - by the end of the day you'll be sub-100, fantastic.

Without hope we would all be dead. So yes, hoping is definitely a good thing.

Yes we believe it will be better to have our own place to create our identity, as you said. I told him it would be even better if we could move in at the same moment, that way I would not feel like I am coming in his apartment (I'm sure that's the feeling I'll have the first days), but it would be way too difficult to organize. It will be great to put his stuff and my stuff in the same place. And to wake up when he goes to work, wait for him to come back for dinner, and do all these little things that 'normal' couples do

He said he will buy a few ustensils he'll need (a few plates, forks and knifes, for example) but then I'll be the one choosing a matching set It's going to be so fun to go shopping to buy OUR items

So, CSC, back to work! We January filers need our approvals! (well, everybody does)

That way we can be together soon and start shopping

[Alex & Rachel 78]

He said he will buy a few ustensils he'll need (a few plates, forks and knifes, for example) but then I'll be the one choosing a matching set It's going to be so fun to go shopping to buy OUR items

Yes, yes, yes! I can't wait to 'set up home'. Oh, it'll be so lovely to have new, matching kitchen and bathroom things (even if we have to buy them in stages over a couple of years).

Fortunately I can derive just as much pleasure from browsing through catalogues and websites and day-dreaming about what I'd buy than from actually buying them, so I'm not going to be running up a huge bill just yet.

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

Cecile - it's strange, I keep thinking it's Tuesday, too. blush.gif

Alex said to me yesterday that there is a very, very, infinitesimal chance that his parents will be moving to northern California and would rent their house out to us. I'm not allowing myself to get my hopes up about it, but if it happened it would be amazing. We'd have a lovely, well-maintained house to live in for cheaper than we'd have any hope of finding elsewhere in the Bay Area.

You would have your own house! that would be awesome! You're right though, try not to think about it too much, especially if it is a "very very infinitesimal chance". Keep organizing everything with what has been planned (living with them), and then if they happen to move, you can start planning everything again!

Anybody else who keeps thinking it's Tuesday?! Maybe that's some kind of conspiracy, they brainwashed all of us to believe it's Wednesday, but they didn't reset our brains (yours and mine) well enough and we KNOW it's Tuesday! ####### am I talking about........ oh well, I'm glad it's the end of the day! I believe my brain needs to rest.

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Fortunately I can derive just as much pleasure from browsing through catalogues and websites and day-dreaming about what I'd buy than from actually buying them, so I'm not going to be running up a huge bill just yet.

I'm sure Alex is happy about that

You're right about the Bay Area - it's a very expensive place to live. Hopefully the situation will allow for you two to set up house in his parents old house - that would be perfect.

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

Fortunately I can derive just as much pleasure from browsing through catalogues and websites and day-dreaming about what I'd buy than from actually buying them, so I'm not going to be running up a huge bill just yet.

I do that too! I've spent complete evenings on the Target website, looking at the kitchen/living-room/bedroom pages

[aravis227 1]

Fortunately I can derive just as much pleasure from browsing through catalogues and websites and day-dreaming about what I'd buy than from actually buying them, so I'm not going to be running up a huge bill just yet.

I do that too! I've spent complete evenings on the Target website, looking at the kitchen/living-room/bedroom pages

Me, too! We've had family members clamoring for us to have a registry for our wedding (it was originally supposed to be in August, then I just couldn't handle the stress of worrying about whether the visa would come through and pretty much knowing it wouldn't), so we've been looking at dishes and stuff that we would like to have. I can't wait until he's finally here and we can have OUR space.

[Alex & Rachel 78]

You would have your own house! that would be awesome! You're right though, try not to think about it too much, especially if it is a "very very infinitesimal chance". Keep organizing everything with what has been planned (living with them), and then if they happen to move, you can start planning everything again!

Anybody else who keeps thinking it's Tuesday?! Maybe that's some kind of conspiracy, they brainwashed all of us to believe it's Wednesday, but they didn't reset our brains (yours and mine) well enough and we KNOW it's Tuesday! ####### am I talking about........ oh well, I'm glad it's the end of the day! I believe my brain needs to rest.

It would be so awesome!

I know that my housemate and other best friend have been feeling very detached lately, too. Perhaps it's something in the air? I really do think it's Tuesday...for some reason I've had it stuck in my head the past week that May starts on a Wednesday...ugh!

Fortunately I can derive just as much pleasure from browsing through catalogues and websites and day-dreaming about what I'd buy than from actually buying them, so I'm not going to be running up a huge bill just yet.

I'm sure Alex is happy about that

You're right about the Bay Area - it's a very expensive place to live. Hopefully the situation will allow for you two to set up house in his parents old house - that would be perfect.

'Perfect' is correct; I can't think of a better arrangement. Still, we shall see. If it doesn't happen that way then I'm sure something equally good will come along. We'd probably need two people's salaries to pay the rent even if it was cheap for the Bay Area (especially as Alex is at college part-time) so

I'd still need to find a job first.

Alex and I have our relationship backwards in so many ways. For example, I'm the older, taller and stronger one. I'm actually probably slightly better with money than he is, although that's probably only because I've experienced living on my own and having to pay bills (and I've certainly made my fair share of mistakes in the past). But even with my weakness for shiny kitchen gadgets I don't think Alex will have too much to worry about.

I do that too! I've spent complete evenings on the Target website, looking at the kitchen/living-room/bedroom pages

Yes! Catalogues also make great bathroom reading material. As I'm pretty good at not spending money I don't have, let's hope I don't win the lottery...

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Me, too! We've had family members clamoring for us to have a registry for our wedding (it was originally supposed to be in August, then I just couldn't handle the stress of worrying about whether the visa would come through and pretty much knowing it wouldn't), so we've been looking at dishes and stuff that we would like to have. I can't wait until he's finally here and we can have OUR space.

Strangely enough the registry is the one thing I'm not looking forward to doing. But I'm sure Alex's mother will insist I make one.

For a start, I'm feeling pretty guilty about people wanting to buy us gifts when it's going to be such a cheap wedding, not to mention that some of them will probably be contributing food, too. Second, while I have no problems buying things on my own I have issues with making a list of things for other people to buy me. I'm always worried that they'll think I have bad tastes, or have asked for something that is too expensive, or that they'll wonder why I'd like this or that. It's silly, because I love it when other people make lists for me - makes buying Christmas/birthday presents a lot easier - but I still can't use that to justify making my own lists.

[aravis227 1]

Me, too! We've had family members clamoring for us to have a registry for our wedding (it was originally supposed to be in August, then I just couldn't handle the stress of worrying about whether the visa would come through and pretty much knowing it wouldn't), so we've been looking at dishes and stuff that we would like to have. I can't wait until he's finally here and we can have OUR space.

Strangely enough the registry is the one thing I'm not looking forward to doing. But I'm sure Alex's mother will insist I make one.

For a start, I'm feeling pretty guilty about people wanting to buy us gifts when it's going to be such a cheap wedding, not to mention that some of them will probably be contributing food, too. Second, while I have no problems buying things on my own I have issues with making a list of things for other people to buy me. I'm always worried that they'll think I have bad tastes, or have asked for something that is too expensive, or that they'll wonder why I'd like this or that. It's silly, because I love it when other people make lists for me - makes buying Christmas/birthday presents a lot easier - but I still can't use that to justify making my own lists.

I know! I feel exactly the same way! I didn't want to do a registry at all because it feels almost like "here's the price of admission to my wedding." I had so many family members and friends tell me that I had to, though...so I will be. The primary thing on the list will be china and flatware, though...I don't feel so guilty registering for something like that because it's more like "if you want to buy this...here is our pattern."

[Alex & Rachel 78]

Yes - same here! Pressured into doing it by others, will alleviate some of the feelings of guilt by only registering for the kind of traditional gifts we truly need.

I did know a couple who made two registries; one for their wedding guests and family that included kitchen equipment, and another for their internet friends that included comics and games. I have to remind myself that I'm at least not doing that!

[serdar 0]

do not get too excited my friend because there will be no big aprovals as you expecting so cool down ..we have got time to wait with this sucks CSC ...

[aravis227 1]

Yes - same here! Pressured into doing it by others, will alleviate some of the feelings of guilt by only registering for the kind of traditional gifts we truly need.

I did know a couple who made two registries; one for their wedding guests and family that included kitchen equipment, and another for their internet friends that included comics and games. I have to remind myself that I'm at least not doing that!

Wow...that's crazy! We are registering for some various kitchen and baking stuff because I bake A LOT...I don't feel so guilty for that, either, because everyone who knows me knows that I bake a lot and will randomly show up at work/friends' houses/church/etc with fresh-baked goods. So, really, it's a gift that gives to everyone. So...if any VJers are hungry...party at my house as soon as Dennis is here!

[aravis227 1]

do not get too excited my friend because there will be no big aprovals as you expecting so cool down ..we have got time to wait with this sucks CSC ...

Why do you think there won't be? All historical evidence says that there will be...the best indication of future behavior is past behavior. I think we have very good reason to believe there will be a rush of CSC approvals.