Angry at Stereotypes... WHY CAN'T I LOVE AN ASIAN???????

[David-Hien 11]

Keep on keeping on Linda. I just gave the posting a scan but it reminds me of this:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...102999&st=0

I love the response that tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Someone must have been having a bad day.

Oh, what you said is about the racists?? That's why there was the war between VN and American.

I only wish that VN will become rich so that the wives would not need to apply visa to USA but the husbands, they would have to apply visa to VN and move there to live.

That day will come soon if the American continue the war with other countries forever.

Hien, WHOA - slow down girlfriend. Vietnamese have a wrong idea about America and Americans and it isn't their fault. But now that I am with Tan (vietnamese man) I can tell you - he got drunk and told me what Vietnamese tv and SCHOOLS teach to Vietnamese kids... that America wanted to overtake and own Vietnam and that is the reason they participated in the war. I have never been the type of woman that walks around singing PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN but this is NOT TRUE. This is communist brainwashing crapola put inside Vietnamese people's head since they were young. America does not believe in communism. They fought a war against communism - NOT AGAINST VIETNAMESE. They did the same in Korea. Communism is what is keeping Vietnam a virtual sh*thole, poor, hard life, etc ... Not AMERICA. I go to Vietnam for the VIETNAMESE PEOPLE and I learned the language because I love the people but I do not agree with how the Vietnamese government holds these wonderful, talented people down. Please know, alot of what you have learned in your country is WRONG - brainwashing - do you know what that is? Not sure the vietnamese word - TAY? NAO~ ? Hieu kg?

As far as the racism post, I can't believe how narrow-minded people can be. But I also find some of the worst critics are the vietnamese women here - not the whites. They like me because I speak their language and am funny and friendly with them but once they learn I am taking a vietnamese husband, oh, how mean they get. They say we don't fit, they call me fat, big, too big for him, ugly (people, I am a size 6 with a 24" waist..how fat can I be?) they say I am worthless because I don't want to have this children and he is ruining his life. They say Americans are "AC" (nightmarishly violent).

Fun moment: Last night, Tan and I got rip roaring drunk - I mean DRUNK, as in DRUNK can't see the street DRUNK. Rum in Vietnam NGON LAM (delicious!). We went out to an all night PHO place on the street, it is dead quiet but with tons of vietnamese people (no foreigners), all tired, quiet, eating their PHO. They glared at us at first and then (dont ask me why my vietnamese gets better when I am drunk, maybe the no inhibitions thing) I start saying in Vietnamese to Tan (LOUDLY and ULTRA-SARCASTICALLY while laughing like a lunatic), "Why do you go out with a white american girl? Dont you know Americans are nightmarishly violent? Dont you know all americans hate Vietnamese? Dont you know Americans only want you as a slave? Dont you know Americans can never speak your language? Look at you, you are so different than me!!! We dont fit! You are short, I am tall. Your skin is brown and mine is white. We cant love each other!!! Its not possible!! Why does everyone else know but you dont know?!?!" Tan is laughing all this time hysterically and then starts spouting off, "Dont you know all vietnamese are communists? Dont you know all vietnamese are viet cong? Dont you know that I am viet cong? Dont you know that I want to turn you into a communist? Dont you know that I would commit suicide before I would eat a hamburger? Dont you know I want to hide in a tree and shoot you in your back?? Love you??? I could never love you - Vietnamese and Americans hate each other" Well, you get the point... we are laughing so hard tears are streaming out of our eyes and then we start kissing and making out in front of everyone (try to remember, we dont blend in - he has green hair and a big multi-colored tattoo and really dark skin for a viet and I look like a supermodel dressed in hot pink spandez and thigh-high boots). Upon us kissing all the viets start laughing and applauding, cheering and coming up to pat us on the back.

You got love "black comedy" but that was the best I have felt about dealing with the way people think... sometimes if you just say what they are thinking before they do, it releases all the tension. But I better get him out of here quick because he is getting way too brave, ballsy and open for this country where there are still very real problems with speaking your mind. Someone hide the Malibu Rum from TAN! ;-) hehehehehehehe

Linda (I LOVE MY SOULMATE, MY OTHER HALF, THE MOST PASSIONATE LOVE AFFAIR I HAVE EVER EVEN READ ABOUT - my TAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

IloveTan,

I would like to say that I have nothing to hate the American. My husband is the American, we faced the same as your problem when we were in Vietnam. My husband is very tall and I'm the little Vietnamese. People stared at us when we hang around. I felt very frustrating, but then we came to USA, our life is much better. No one bother us for the different size, skin color, language, race...

The only one thing I still feel frustrating is the feelings of waiting for the visa process and the attitude of the staff there in the Consulate. They may be nice with the Americans, but with Vietnameses, they are cruel. That's why I said I wish if some days the Vietnamese wives don't need to come to the Consulate to apply visa, to pray and to be nice with the cruel staff. If that day comes, they would have no job to scare us anymore.

Hien

Edited March 3, 2008 by Hien

[Teacher Mark 53]

Keep on keeping on Linda. I just gave the posting a scan but it reminds me of this:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...102999&st=0

I love the response that tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Someone must have been having a bad day.

Oh, what you said is about the racists?? That's why there was the war between VN and American.

I only wish that VN will become rich so that the wives would not need to apply visa to USA but the husbands, they would have to apply visa to VN and move there to live.

That day will come soon if the American continue the war with other countries forever.

Yawn.

[Amastar 0]

Really, really weird hearing the Asian stereo typing in reverse. I dont know how many times I've been called a "wee-a-boo" or "pinkerton", (mostly by my ex-girlfriend of 8 years who also is Vietnamese).

I've always ignored it. I love my wife. Even if she was American, Russian or African. I love her as a person.

Keep on loving your man.

[b_weeks 6]

Anyone know where Linda went? I haven't see her around in quite a while.....

[patricks 0]

Where's Linda?

She's in Nha Trang, duoc khong?

Maybe, she went on one of those famous, "Mama Hanh's" Boat Tours to the nearby Islands...

A 3 hour tour, A 3 hour tour, and the weather started getting rough and the tiny ship was tossed....etc, etc...

hmmm

[chuckandkim 0]

Busy consummating the relationship, creating more supportive evidences in preparation for Tan's interview?

[franklie 0]

WOW. Can I just vent here for a second? For those of you who don't know me and my big mouth - I am the politically incorrect, tell it like it is Linda - the tall white woman from America. I am in love with TAN - the short asian from Vietnam. :-)

DO I HAVE TO HEAR ONE MORE PERSON TELL ME THAT A GOOD LOOKING WHITE WOMAN WOULD NEVER CHOOSE A SHORT SKINNY ASIAN MAN?!?!?!?!?!? What is the problem here???? Are asian men just off limits to white girls or are they just so physically repulsive that I would have to be cracked in the head to want one?!? NOT EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET is turned on by TALL MEN. Sheesh. God had to make ONE WOMAN that likes SHORT. It just happens to be ME. And since I am good-looking, I get hassled all the time about how much better I could do than Tan. Not to mention all this prejudice and stereotyping crapola is not only on the white side.... the viets are no better... they tell him, right in front of me (I SPEAK VIETNAMESE BUT THEY DONT ALWAYS KNOW THAT), don't take a white wife, americans only use vietnamese as slaves, are you a traitor? You are too different, you can't love each other. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

So basically, I am using him to have a slave in america (for what, exactly?!) and he is using me for a green card. OHMYGOD. He never even thought he had a chance with me, ... I LOVE TAN. I was crying today because I feel SO LUCKY - this true love stuff is a gift you get with one person, one time. I really believe that. You can have special relationships but your true soulmate is only 1. Well anyway, enough venting... if anyone wants to come to our Dinh Hon, we are having it in Nha Trang Vietnam in 3 more weeks....

*hugs to all*

KEEP ON LOVING

Linda

Hi Linda,

first time in the Asia forum and this thread caught my eye. What you wrote here is a pretty good summation of what one of my friends is going through. I feel for you and Tan that you have to endure the slings and arrows of envious small-minded people.

My friend is a 2-time loser in the marriage category. Outside of intimate relationships he has been extremely successful in business, in sports, and in personal looks and charm. About 6 months ago this man who could have just about any woman went on a bender in TJ and ended up getting to know one of the ladies of the night from the red-light district of TJ. After starting out with a prostitute-client relationship, they found that there was a chemistry between them and forged a relationship based on love and trust.

I thought my buddy was deep in a mid-life crisis. In my mind the "chemistry" was his dollars for her and for him being able to captain her "pleasure-boat" body. As he detailed to me the relationship developments almost in real time I tried counseling him so that he wouldn't throw his life away. My breath was wasted, my words fell on deaf ears. Events took a turn for the worse; he rented an apartment in TJ so that he could be with his love interest. The love birds were building a nest.

I told my buddy once again that it was just a fantasy and that she was, for God's sakes, just a prostitute and scamming him.

And then he introduced me to her. The English langauage doesn't have the words to say how badly I felt, how seriously I had erred. I begged forgiveness not only of him but of her as well. How wrongly and how easily we misjudge others.

There is absolutely no reason why they are a matched pair. The differences are overwhelming.

He's tall. She's small.

He's on the near side of 50. She will be 25 in a couple of years.

He's been educated at some of the best universities in the US. She almost graduated from junior high in Mexico.

He's a business exec. Some day she would like to be a kindergarten teacher.

He speaks English with some smattering of Spanish. She speaks Spanish along with some English words that you wouldn't use in polite company.

He's a fighter for what he believes in. She's a fighter for what she believes in.

He needed a reason to move ahead with his life. She needed a reason to improve herself.

He is extremely intelligent. She has a natural uncultivated intelligence and a strong interest in the world around her.

When they are together there is an unmistakable aura of happiness, peace and love around them. They bring out the best in each other.

She and I later had a conversation that tore my heart. (Readers' note: I am NOT a tree-hugging, bleeding heart liberal. I did believe and still believe that the US has the right to maintain its borders as the US sees fit.)

She is from the state of Veracruz on the East coast of Mexico. With no education and a worsening economy, job prospects which are pretty lean under the best of times in "Mexico Lindo" were pretty grim. She made a bad decision based on deceiving information from a "friend". Her decision was to cross the border illegally and get a job in the US.

She travelled to TJ on the West coast of Mexico with borrowed money and hooked up with a "coyote", someone who would lead a group of illegals into the US. Just after crossing the US-Mexico border the group was interdicted by the US Border Patrol and returned to Mexico.

Now back in Mexico she needed to get a job to payoff the money she owed the "coyote" for crossing the border. So she got a job working as prostitute in a bar.

That's the short story.

Then I started asking questions.

How much did crossing the border cost? $2900

Did the "coyote" hook her up with the job at the bar? Yes (I surprised her with this question and the subsequent questions)

Was the group crossing the border mostly women in their early 20's? Yes

Were her prostitution clothes given to her on "credit"? Yes

Was the "coyote going to get her a job in the US? Yes

Was she scared when she was caught by "la migra" Yes

Was she without hope when the "pinche coyote" offered her a job? Yes

Did she hate herself and feel bad when she started the job? Yes (her eyes watered at the recollection)

Basically, she and the other girls were going to be illegally brought into the US to be prostitutes. Plan B for the "pinche coyote" was to prostitute the girls in TJ. The money owed for crossing, the clothes, the housing and the food given on credit were all "hooks" in the girls to ensure that the coyote "got his pound of flesh" and recouped his investment and then some.

Her plan before she met her "principe azul" (imagine meeting the man of your dreams in a sleazy bar) was to save as much money as she could to pay off the debt ASAP, quit the "puta" business and get into a different line of work. I asked her show much she still owed the PC. She told me $5500. The surprise in my eyes caused her to add that the increase was due to interest compounding on the initial sum. Looks like the PC previously worked for a US credit card company. I told my buddy that she needed $5500 to get out of the trade. I told him nothing more. Americans that murder Mexicans in Mexico are not looked upon kindly by the Mexican judicial system.

She is now being housewifely in TJ and just started studying English and working towards completing her junior high diploma.

[Pamme 0]

Linda,

Please keep us posted. I would also like to see pictures from your engagement. I hope the process is going well.

[kirk and Jenny 0]

Kind of too bad. The internet has opened up the chance of compatibility immensely. In this small town my choices were between Lizzy Borden and 2 meth dealers. It was a great experience of chatting with women all over the world and dealing with so many different views and personalities. It seems like cultural diversity becomes evil to many when it is not used for a political objective and used for a more fulfilling relationship.