Angry at Stereotypes... WHY CAN'T I LOVE AN ASIAN???????

[Uncle Wally 2]

Wow.

[b_weeks 6]

So I just woke up from a nightmare about the consulate denying him....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Really, I am stressing too hard. Now I know why....

I apologize if I was too dirty in my above post... nothing shocks me or bothers me when it comes to (SHHHH!) sex... I don't mean to ever sound lewd, so if I upset anyone with what I wrote, I am sorry in advance. But the POINT is that I was missing LAUGHTER in my life. I had a husband best friend brother and money has never really been an issue and I was ready to throw myself under a train. Maybe others aren't like that but I can't live without HUMOR and LAUGHTER. Tan makes me laugh, that is all I meant by my post.

On a G-rated note, he also said in english, as we passed by a KFC (they have that fast food in vietnam), "Would you like Finger Lickin' Good today?" AHAHAHAHA. Can you picture it? He doesn't speak english worth a damn but knows the weirdest things in english that are just hysterical when said in a Vietnamese accent. I was like, "where did you learn that?!?!?!" I wish I had a tape recording of the things that pop out of his mouth. Not to mention how gentle and sensitive he also is. This is a special man and he really deserves the kind of life and freedom he can have in America. I feel like I found a piece of me that was stifled and hidden in Vietnam and he loves me because I give him the chance to be himself for the first time and I love him because he is my missing piece that I longed for......

OK Linda, SHUT UP, go back to bed......

Linda

Linda, that is SOOOO funny.

I am in tears right now from laughing so hard....

[Melrose Plant 1]

Thanks for your post. People are so narrow minded. I guess what irks me most is how if a white man marries an asian girl everyone pats him on the back and says, "asian girl, hot in bed, look young forever, thin....GOOD JOB MAN!"

Hmmmmmmmm. Asian girl. Woman, actually. She's 38. Hot in bed. Check. Look young forever. No one looks young forever except ####### Clark, even after the stroke. Thin. Uh, noooooooo. I think I have found the one fat family in Vietnam. And they want me to be fat too, judging from the amount of food they've shoved down my throat. Incredible food, I might add. Stereotypes only go so far. My sister is married to an Asian man, by the way, though he is an American of Chinese descent.

[Melrose Plant 1]

Linda, are you still in Nha Trang? If so, have you found the giant shrimp lady? I guess we call them King Prawns in the States. I can't tell you exactly, but Tan will know since he lives there. There's a lady who sells giant shrimp on the main drag, just south of that little amusement park. The park is on the east side of the street, and the giant shrimp are on the west side. Eating on that corner is one of my best memories from Vietnam. Best enjoyed with a few warm Bia Sài Gòn.

[chuckandkim 0]

Linda and Tan,

Great story! We want updates and are here to share every moment of your long journey to come. I'm glad you find true love that meaningful to you and more. I actually am not much interested in the fact of a white woman marries an asian man. Some of my friends work in Healthcare, they have such "low expectation" in life and it's constaintious... with them: "still breathing? it's a good day already".... So here is my take on your story: a Female is crazy in love with a male, great!!!! And they are on VJ? That's even better! Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!

About the sex stuff, we are all adults here, if it wasn't for part of the sex stuff, we wouldn't get married and have children. It's our desire to enjoy sex, make love to our wife/husband, it's burning inside everyone of us here. Prove me wrong!!! Admittedly, I LOVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!! So don't feel like you are offending anyone.

[ILoveTan 0]

Admittedly, I LOVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!! So don't feel like you are offending anyone.

Ok then.... First off, thanks for your great post, I appreciate the support! :-) Now this post may take an R RATED turn so for those of you who DON'T want to hear about SEX or about my personal feelings/experiences about SEX - STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LAST CHANCE TO TURN AWAY - R to X rating to follow!!! GRAPHIC ALERT GRAPHIC ALERT TOO MUCH INFORMATION COMING UP. Dont read if you are at all vanilla or uptight about sex!!!!! CUSS WORDS, DIRTY WORDS, and VERY NON-PC TALK. DONT READ if you can't handle it.... I am warning because I don't want anyone hating me for the post. Please don't read if you know that stuff bothers you!!!!!

So "chuckandkim" you love sex... ok, I NEVER DID. I knew I wasn't frigid or anything because I always hot in my mind fantasy wise and "alone" with myself, you know what I mean? but men just never lit my torch but I knew I wasn't into chicks either.... FRUSTRATION.

So now I am with a 5'4", skinny, brown skin jungle boy and I literally can't get out of the bedroom. We did it 5 times today. I don't know where anyone got this Asian men can't #### myth.... WOW, what a lie. This guy (a virgin before me who says he "read alot and watched sex films") is so skilled with his tongue and fingers I am like... HUH?????? He literally hits the "right spot" every time. He should give lessons to all the guys I tried before who fumbled around like, "DUH, do chicks have a g-spot?"

Not to mention that the weirdest #### about him turns me on... like he is so NATURAL CAVEMAN BOY - you know, no deoderant and dirty feet and I am like YES YES YES. What a sicko woman I am! I mean he lives in the jungle, out in nowhereville deep out of the city. There is no toilet at his house, just a hole in the floor outside. He has lived like such a tarzan boy and everything about it just gets me hot. :-) Plus, when he cusses and yells in Vietnamese I literally turn into a ball of horniness rolling around on the bed. He makes fun of me because the last time he was on the phone arguing with a friend in Vietnamese and talking loud I literally got off. DONT ASK BECAUSE I DONT KNOW..... but I was so cold and icy with american men, even my ex-husband. Ugh. I am 100% all the time ready when I am around him... I have never been attracted to asian men before because in america they are so clean and neat and prissy... I just never thought about it. But jungle boy here with his dirty feet and natural body and skin so tan he is almost black...uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh I DONT KNOW. Cavewoman here. We have all this role playing that I am an american spy and he is a viet cong - I mean the PC police would DIE if they heard us together... IT GETS ME SO HOT. He cusses at me in Vietnamese and says in viet, "No white american can ever get me hard or horny, I will put you in the vc prison and torture you worthless american spy...." and we take turns tying each other up - sometimes I "anti-brain-wash" him from his communist thinking by torturing him sexually until he submits and then other times I am the white spy in the VC prison, he even brings me white rice and won't feed me until I "service" him. CAN I BE HOTTER FOR THIS MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So will I accept if the consulate says no he can't go to america???? HELL NO. This man belongs in an open minded country... he is SO DIFFERENT than other vietnamese (and I am not saying anything bad, I love vietnamese people, think they are funny, loving, terrific....) but he is SO DIFFERENT, open minded, special, adventurous.... god I LOVE THIS ###### MAN. I would walk through fire to get to him. And what is so special and neat and lovely about it all is that the sex is just a BONUS... he fit on every level, humor, intelligence, likes, beliefs.... all of it. I dont know how he lived out in the rice fields with farm creatures his whole life, never exposed to anything and yet is SO open minded, curious, fearless... he says my love makes him braver than he ever knew he could be.....

On another FUNNY TAN MOMENT... I pretended to be the consulate (to help him practice answering questions on the fly) and I say to him, "Why do you think Linda loves you Tan?" and he looks at me, blinks his brown eyes and says seriously, "She loves my slanty eyes and yellow #######, of course. So, anything else??" HE IS NUTS. He is so cool. He is so ready to change the way the world sees things, just like me. Isn't it time? But his values are also so good and pure.... if I just tell him I love him or talk sweet to him, he tears up. HE IS SO REAL AND HONEST AND OPEN, he hides nothing, he tries everything.... If I could've had a long talk with God and described for 10 hours my dream soulmate, He would've made Tan for me.... THANK YOU GOD FOR TAN.

Crazy Linda in love with Crazy Tan..... p.s. we rented the room for our engagement party in Nha Trang...woo hoo. He is dying his hair electric blue and I am wearing a neon pink catsuit and spike heels and we are playing Michael Jackson and Madonna music at the party. heheheheh and to add more disbelief to this whole bizarre love story... his parents actually LOVE me. WOW...... did I die and go to heaven already?!?!?!?!?!

[anya-D 8]

Linda, are you still in Nha Trang? If so, have you found the giant shrimp lady? I guess we call them King Prawns in the States. I can't tell you exactly, but Tan will know since he lives there. There's a lady who sells giant shrimp on the main drag, just south of that little amusement park. The park is on the east side of the street, and the giant shrimp are on the west side. Eating on that corner is one of my best memories from Vietnam. Best enjoyed with a few warm Bia Sài Gòn.

OMG!!! That's the weirdest thing!! I LOVE that King Prawns!! And I bet the women I bought from is the same as you mention!! she cooked it right there in front of us, Bram and I were both sad that we didnt buy 2 of them!! and it was in Nha Trang, our hotel was just in front of the amusment park and we ate the king prawn on the beach in front of it!! it was the best food we had in vietnam... too bad we dont know where to go find good food.. but Pho that we had was alright.. ahhh.. want good sea food

Linda - your stoy crack me up every time, you should let us know the name of your book so we can check it out when it comes out Good luck to everything!!

[Kang Lang 7]

your original post made me sad linda because seemingly little has changed, but you have a great sense of humour about it. my mom is caucasian and my dad is chinese and 30 years ago when the met and fell in love they suffered the same nonsense that you and tan do. it was bad when we lived in hong kong as a kid and bad when i first came to the states but the one thing my mom always said to me is "you love who you love" so you go right on ahead and love your "jungle boy" and tell those that judge to ####### off!

good luck to you guys!

[chuckandkim 0]

Phew!!!!!!!!! I need to take a coldshower now after finished reading LindaandTan post!!!!!! Phew!!1 Just called my 7 months pregnant lady, tell her ready for tonigh

Anyway, I have no idea where the stereotypical thought that asian men can't hang come from? My first thought: porns!!!!!!! The fact is, Asian people don't like to talk about sex because they are too busy doing it! You think chinese have over a billion people because they don't know what they are doing in bed? About the interview, all jokes aside Linda, get Tan get serious However, another question or maybe an option... if the interview failed, would you willing to give it all up for your Tarzan? Moving to VN, have your own business there and have your jungle boy with you. What is waiting for him here in the States when you two are back here? Make sure you have him clear on this.... There aren't too many places in the States where you can get the giant prawns for a buck or two! You get the idea! BTW, we want pictures after the engagement... Electric Blue hairdo? that's crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAN!!!!!!!!

[ILoveTan 0]

Linda - your stoy crack me up every time, you should let us know the name of your book so we can check it out when it comes out Good luck to everything!!

heheheheeh thanks.... I was worrying a little about this post (like TOO MUCH INFORMATION Linda what were you THINKING?????) but you either love my writing or hate it... I am brutally honest and I tell every detail, so I'll either have a total flop or a bestseller when my book comes out. Fine by me, I have never been an "in the middle" kind of person anyhow... can you tell? ;-)

Sweet dreams from crazy Linda - sleepy at 2 am in vietnam after getting home from dancing with Tan and meeting his friends.... egads, if one more person says he is "too small" for me, I am going go on a mad killing spree. Ya, he's short and skinny but do they want a picture of his ####### to know he's hung like the black stallion???????? TROI OI LA TROI OI Don't they know good things come in small packages??? SHEESH.

[ILoveTan 0]

I know I said I was going to bed but I got up from the computer and Tan is eating (all Mr. 98 pounds does is EAT) and it is some kind of egg dish and I go, "You love eggs, you are obsessed with eggs, why are you always eating eggs??" and he says dead seriously, "We have so much sex, I need eat eggs to help me make more sperm, what if I run out?" PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE HE GETS THIS SH*T?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? :lol:

OMG, now he is sitting on the floor eating eggs with his hands. And I am not sure what's worse: A grown man sitting on the floor with yolk all over his face and dripping off his fingers or a grown woman seeing this image and feeling the overwhelming impulse to jump his bones..... ???????

Linda

[ILoveTan 0]

Phew!!!!!!!!! I need to take a coldshower now after finished reading LindaandTan post!!!!!! Phew!!1 Just called my 7 months pregnant lady, tell her ready for tonigh

Anyway, I have no idea where the stereotypical thought that asian men can't hang come from? My first thought: porns!!!!!!! The fact is, Asian people don't like to talk about sex because they are too busy doing it! You think chinese have over a billion people because they don't know what they are doing in bed? About the interview, all jokes aside Linda, get Tan get serious However, another question or maybe an option... if the interview failed, would you willing to give it all up for your Tarzan? Moving to VN, have your own business there and have your jungle boy with you. What is waiting for him here in the States when you two are back here? Make sure you have him clear on this.... There aren't too many places in the States where you can get the giant prawns for a buck or two! You get the idea! BTW, we want pictures after the engagement... Electric Blue hairdo? that's crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAN!!!!!!!!

First off, that chinese line is hysterical and I hope you dont mind if I steal it for comedy writing purposes! :-)

Second, Tan's problem with "getting serious" when answering interview questions is that for as funny, wild and crazy as he is - when he even attempts to be serious and talk about his feelings, he gets teary and cries. I told him, that is fine, its real... but he is still a MAN and still doesnt want anyone seeing him get all emotional. :-P

Finally, that is a hard question... would I live in Vietnam forever? Would I give everything up for Tan... YES. Live in Vietnam forever though? Here is the problem... I don't care about being rich in america or having tons of money... but 2 reasons I don't want to stay in vietnam. 1.) It's a selfish life. Yes I have Tan and he has me - but we are both Buddhist and (while I am having alot of fun with him right now) we must live for others ultimately. I have alot of potential to be rich rich in america and if I dont do that and use the money to help others, I am a truly selfish person who will go nowhere on a spiritual level. Those are my beliefs. 2.) I am sick ALL THE TIME in vietnam. My health is just not right here... every time I visit is like that, this time the worst. Now I have no voice, gone completely...why? Who knows. Just weird sick stuff here for me - long term sick like this would take its toll on my spirit and our love.

So without saying anything really scary - I will be with Tan one way or the other, lets just leave it at that. I dont care what I have to do. If we both have to die to meet together in another place, we are at that level for each other. If we have to find ways around things, so be it. We won't live without each other.... how is that answer? :-D

Linda

[LuckyDucky 0]

Late-comer to this thread ...

When I first started reading the thread, I was very sad because I could totally understand what the original poster was going through.

I'm sure almost everyone who has gone through this process has had nay-sayers who have discouraged a foreign relationship. I can't speak to the stereotypes, which are, frankly, ludicrous. (To me, stereotyping is just a lazy person's way of convincing themselves that they know someone without putting the actual effort of getting to know them.)

But for those who say "He/She is just trying to use you for a greencard", I try to take with a grain of salt. I've heard it before from friends and family, and I take it in the spirit that they are just looking out for my best interests. For the most part, many of the people who bring it up DO genuinely care about you. It does take a lot of guts to say that to someone. I just explain to them how me and my fiancee's relationship has evolved, and give them my thoughts about how I approached. Of course, when I was first introduced to Linh, I didn't know what to expect. When others hear that you didn't just "jump into" this, they usually have more peace of mind.

Now there are others that you just have to dismiss out of hand. I had an online buddy who was fairly harsh about the entire idea of falling in love with a foreigner. I conceeded that there are potentially rougher roads ahead: different culture while growing up, not being able to spend a lot of time together, etc, but while they can provide road bumps, they are not insurmountable! Call me a dopey romantic, but if we remember the love that we share for each other, we'll get past any problems. Oh! And when I pointed out that he met his current girlfriend online from another part of the country, he said there was no correlation. Hm. For some reason my phone conversations / online chat is different than his phone conversations / online chat.

But, I'm very glad in the later part of this thread that the tone has changed to the positive! That's really all you need to focus on and remember. You've found that very special bond and as long as it feels right for both of you, I wouldn't worry too much about what others say.

[LuckyDucky 0]

... and another thing ...

(haha, I always think of something after I hit the "submit" button)

For those that say, "You could do better" are probably not looking at this in the right light. (I can't say for sure since I don't know them, but I've heard this before, too.) In my instance, when I heard, "You could do better", they were comparing what THEY would feel like if they were dating this person.

It's all about how the other person makes you feel. Those that truly understand this have said to me, "You always look so happy in pictures with her" or "Your eyes light up when you talk about her". People who had worried about our relationship in the past actually stopped when they saw some of the pictures of us together. Many commented that she looked really happy, too. So that makes them back off on the "she's using you for a green card" argument. And I usually look TERRIBLE in pictures ... but with her in there, I actually look fairly tolerable. (Or maybe it's just 'cuz I never look at myself, but only at her. hehe)

[*JG* 2]

hi linda,

good luck on ur relationship and trust me ur not the only one. it happens alot. i hear all the time how im married to "sadam", a terriost and im being used for a greencard. just ignore them and be happy.

Same here, only Jamaican men are ganga smoking playas.........

There are idiots everywhere. THEY are not living YOUR life. Tell them to go to hell and walk away.