Did you change your name when you got married?

[kerewin21 2]

I'm changing my name for a few reasons. One, I've never felt that comfortable with my last name as it doesn't feel like it reflects who I am. Two, my new last name is much more interesting. Three, it's easier for us in the future and for our future kids (inshallah). But honestly that's only in the picture as an added bonus, it certainly isn't a deciding factor. Oh, and fourth, now I'm at the BEGINNING of the alphabet instead of near the end, that's been an annoyance to me my whole life!

When I told one of my friends I was changing my name, he asked if that was traditional in Morocco. I told him no, and he said, OK, so you're being doubly regressive. I guess he's right, but I don't care so much.

[Bosco 1]

Hi there, it's not common at any muslim country. The wife normally keeps her family name. But here in america I assume this is where you will reside its' common here to take our husbands name. Actually, I married in Morocco but for better indications show you are truly serious of your relationship via the paperwork I would change it to your husbands name. My husband agreed as well.

Just my input.

It is more common in some Muslim countries than others, although I think people often look at Middle Eastern/Arab Islam as representative of all Islam.

If I recall correctly, in Pakistan there is a custom where the father's first name becomes the children's surname, and the wife often takes her husband's first name as a second surname.

There are also plenty of Muslim converts who changed both their first and last names- Yusuf Islam, Mohammad Ali, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Therefore, they are no longer can be called "by their father's name".

Some interpret the hadith to mean a woman should not change her maiden name, however, it seems most of the other ahadith relating addressing this same issue generally refer to men -- men who chose not to change their last name when converting (as in the case of the son of Abu Jahl). Another refers to the use of a name other than the father's following "ibn" (son), which makes sense because this would be claiming you were the son of another man.

Anyway, it all comes down to interpretation, and I think interpretation often fits with social customs.

Rebecca

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Just my thoughts ... cuz gosh if I did everything like they do in the Middle East what kind of a person would I be ? A very odd one. I live as a Lebanese-American ... half & half. I do not comromise on the things that are haram, but if it's not haram and does not fit in American society .. I am going to follow what they do in my homeland.

Except that there are 2 options here in our homeland - change your last name or keep your last name. Both are legitimate choices in this society and both are what we americans do here in our homeland. I wouldn't have changed my last name even if I married a non egyptian.

edited to add - oops, we have 3 options here - the third being hyphenate your last name. Or, the fourth option, create a whole new last name out of the previous 2, a' la Antonio Villaraigosa. His last name was Villar and his wife's was Raigosa.

Sooooo many choices, and only one last name

Edited April 28, 2006 by rahma

[AngelK96 0]

Jenn do what is comfortable for you, if you decide to keep your last name and then you decide you don't want it like that.. you have the option to change it to your husbands.

As for me my husband wanted me to take his last name first it made him happy, second every one would know i'm from his family now, and third i would have protection of his family if anything shall happen to him or me. He also wanted me to change my middle name to his his first name

Angel

[tnh9479 1]

We talked about this before we got married. Hicham cared less if I changed my name as he said it is not custom. It was my decision to change it (and 10 months later I am still in process). I told him I want it to symbolize our unity, be easier for our future children (inshallah), and be easier for my students (they expected the name change due to our customs).

Twila

[000OOO000 0]

I changed mine.

[Veiled Princess 1]

BTW, Jenn, LOVE the avatar!!! it's cute

[libragodess 1]

I plan on taking my hubbie's name. Not yet though! LOL I feel with all the paperwork involved in the visa filing process that's one last thing I need to undertake at the present moment. It's something we discussed...and as always my love leaves the decison to me and likes my choice. He's wonderful that way!

[myfellah 0]

Abdou left it up to me if I wanted to change my name. I think if I had had young children I might have left it but my daughter is in college so need to worry there. I didn't need to keep my ex's last name anymore. I had changed my name when I married the first time to my first name, maiden name and new last name. My parents have both passed and I decided to just change back to my given name and begin all new. I now use my first name, middle name and my husband's last name. I did find out I sure had a lot more things to change now than I did when I was 18 but got through them all, I think. Work took the longest but then I work for the government and we all know they can be a bit slow at times.

It really is a personally choice.

Doreen

[lostinlove228 0]

My mom changed her last name when she came to the US and her middle name is my father's first name. The Children take the father's first Name as there middle name. The only thing with changing your name is the Haslle of Credit Cards, Passport, Drivers Liscence. it is really Time consuming. I think it is best after the Immigration stuff is dome. If they ask why you didn't take his last name. Very simple answer. It is not Cutomary in the Middle east, or you are planning on doing that after immigration is done.

[jordanianprincess 0]

My mom changed her last name when she came to the US and her middle name is my father's first name. The Children take the father's first Name as there middle name. The only thing with changing your name is the Haslle of Credit Cards, Passport, Drivers Liscence. it is really Time consuming. I think it is best after the Immigration stuff is dome. If they ask why you didn't take his last name. Very simple answer. It is not Cutomary in the Middle east, or you are planning on doing that after immigration is done.

Same thing in Jordan, my dads name is my middle name. I always hated that growing up. After I get married, I'm going to change it to my fiance's first name.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

I like all of the answers... it suits each woman personally...

As for me, I can't wait to take Jamal's last name as my own...

[lostinlove228 0]

My mom changed her last name when she came to the US and her middle name is my father's first name. The Children take the father's first Name as there middle name. The only thing with changing your name is the Haslle of Credit Cards, Passport, Drivers Liscence. it is really Time consuming. I think it is best after the Immigration stuff is dome. If they ask why you didn't take his last name. Very simple answer. It is not Cutomary in the Middle east, or you are planning on doing that after immigration is done.

Same thing in Jordan, my dads name is my middle name. I always hated that growing up. After I get married, I'm going to change it to my fiance's first name.

My problem is that if I take his first name also as my middle name, my name would be too long. Another about about his last name is that it's orignaly 2 names also. If I change all that, my name will never fit on any form.

[karotte 0]

I never intended to change my name, and I didn't when I got married. My name reflects my cultural heritage and his name reflects his, which I think is great. We'll see what happens when we have kids, insh'allah...

BTW, it was never brought up at our AOS interview.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I never intended to change my name, and I didn't when I got married. My name reflects my cultural heritage and his name reflects his, which I think is great. We'll see what happens when we have kids, insh'allah...

BTW, it was never brought up at our AOS interview.

When we have kids our kids will have his last name, inshallah.