Sub-saharan cyber cafe

[LovinLiberia 0]

Is it really lack of understanding how things are over here or is it just that they don't care? I sometimes feel that all the love and kindness that was shown to me, was just the buttering up for the future money requests.

I am venting now. I know. Just had to vent..

A big huge "I FEEL YA!" to what everyone has said regarding this topic. Chispas, I think that realizing you've been "buttered up" is one of the worst parts in dealing with the money requests. People that were considered friends who were extremely nice and friendly start asking for favors and money. Then they begin only speaking to you when they need something urgently. Booker's family hasn't been annoying, at all. In fact, I wish they weren't so ashamed to ask us. I love them and I feel bad knowing that they were in a bind or something and felt too ashamed to ask. His mom was diagnosed with diabetes a few weeks ago and she was so embarrassed to call and ask for $50 for her medicine. You could hear the shame in her voice.

Now the friends have been the issue. One of Booker's friends was pretty close to me until I noticed that he started begging for money and even coming up with schemes. He would try to do this behind Booker's back and beg me not to tell Booker. Once he claimed that he needed $300 (immediately) for butt surgery or he would die. I happened to ask Booker how Chris was doing because he told me he was about to die and Booker was like, "oh, I saw him today...he and I went shopping downtown and he never mentioned any surgery to me." One he even told me that Booker was in jail and $150 was needed immediately to bail him out. Of course, I called my husband and he was perfectly fine and very much not in jail. There were several other instances. Each time I told him NO until he finally got irriated and told me that I didn't care about him. In return, I told him to NEVER call me again because he wasn't being slick and I was sick of him attempting to use me. He and Booker fell out over it and they are no longer friends. He was going to be the best man in the wedding. He has been replaced.

The requests usually come through email for us because we sort of anticipated this. Some people will email him out of the blue asking for this or that and when we say no, then we never hear from them again. Until the next request, of course. A few have flashed us asking us to call them back on our own dime. We tell them we don't have any minutes to call back and that if they really want to talk then they will borrow someone else's phone or something. A lot of his friends have claimed that he doesn't care for them and that ever since he gained his opportunity (me) that he acts like he has forgotten his countrymen. He tries to pretend like they don't bother him, but I know it does because he is very proud of his country and he is shocked that some of his friends just don't understand. Someone can beg and he will tell them that things are not easy in America and that he can't just buy and send things at their demand. They will just say "Okay, well give me the last of whatever you have...even if it is a dollar, I'm desperate." Ugh.

A lot of people there just don't understand. You can tell them until you are blue in the face and it still won't register with them. They will literally have to come and experience it in order to truly understand it. They think he'####### it big by marrying me and they don't realize that we are struggling our asses off just to keep food on the table. I could go on for days about some of the insane requests we have gotten.

Zainab, your barbie story was really sad. I know none of your other babies could ever replace that beloved one, huh?

Edited April 17, 2008 by LovinLiberia

[Zee Bee 61]

All these people need a good

[LovinLiberia 0]

There were so many typos in my reply, but the edit feature was acting funky. Oh well, ya'll know what I mean! LOL!

[chispas 0]

There were so many typos in my reply, but the edit feature was acting funky. Oh well, ya'll know what I mean! LOL!

Don't worry about the typos. I believe most of us are sneaking in "chat" here and there from work, so we understand. The Village idiot is yet another story, but I believe we all understand. I try to type quickly, as my cursor jumps around the screen, then send even quicker before my students walk up behind me. Today and yesterday are slow days, so I have more free time to chat, but still have to keep the other eye open for lurkers.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

Now the friends have been the issue. One of Booker's friends was pretty close to me until I noticed that he started begging for money and even coming up with schemes. He would try to do this behind Booker's back and beg me not to tell Booker. Once he claimed that he needed $300 (immediately) for butt surgery or he would die. I happened to ask Booker how Chris was doing because he told me he was about to die and Booker was like, "oh, I saw him today...he and I went shopping downtown and he never mentioned any surgery to me." One he even told me that Booker was in jail and $150 was needed immediately to bail him out. Of course, I called my husband and he was perfectly fine and very much not in jail. There were several other instances. Each time I told him NO until he finally got irriated and told me that I didn't care about him. In return, I told him to NEVER call me again because he wasn't being slick and I was sick of him attempting to use me. He and Booker fell out over it and they are no longer friends. He was going to be the best man in the wedding. He has been replaced.

The requests usually come through email for us because we sort of anticipated this. Some people will email him out of the blue asking for this or that and when we say no, then we never hear from them again. Until the next request, of course. A few have flashed us asking us to call them back on our own dime. We tell them we don't have any minutes to call back and that if they really want to talk then they will borrow someone else's phone or something. A lot of his friends have claimed that he doesn't care for them and that ever since he gained his opportunity (me) that he acts like he has forgotten his countrymen. He tries to pretend like they don't bother him, but I know it does because he is very proud of his country and he is shocked that some of his friends just don't understand. Someone can beg and he will tell them that things are not easy in America and that he can't just buy and send things at their demand. They will just say "Okay, well give me the last of whatever you have...even if it is a dollar, I'm desperate." Ugh.

A lot of people there just don't understand. You can tell them until you are blue in the face and it still won't register with them. They will literally have to come and experience it in order to truly understand it. They think he'####### it big by marrying me and they don't realize that we are struggling our asses off just to keep food on the table. I could go on for days about some of the insane requests we have gotten.

Zainab, your barbie story was really sad. I know none of your other babies could ever replace that beloved one, huh?

You are describing EXACTLY what Bassi is going through now! I am most worried about his friends. He has a loving family that are very caring. His parents will never ask for anything from us. Mom is just planning for me to let her have the grandbabies every summer. That's her sole desire. Dad's got football and his transistor radio and he's in nirvana. His younger brothers may ask for things but they will keep in touch irregardless (they email me weekly as it is now), they won't just ask for things. And it's a matter of their relationship with him, he's thier big bro and he's always given them things when they wanted. He's working and has no family so he would buy them stuff all the time, so they are used to asking him for something and know that if he says no, he means it. But his friends seem to be side swiping him. They were football comrades and buddies who hung out, worked hard, played hard, prayed together and now they are morphing into judgemental leeches.

Do you talk to your SO about it? I want to be there to listen cause I know that right now he feels isolated and frustrated/betrayed, but he doesn't communicate. He's often silent. But the few statements he makes, he's pissed royally! He's very protective of me and I know his friends know that I'm off limits. I really don't even chat with his friends or anything like that, other than hi and goodbye. I couldn't imagine something like what happened to you happening. Bassi would go ballistic. I wouldn't know what to do cause I'd be afraid to tell him cause he'd go crazy, but I'd want to get rid of this supposed "friend". What a dilemma!

PS About my Barbie, back then, it was really hard to find a black Barbie.....I got this blonde blue eyed Barbie doll that Christmas, but it didn't replace my black Barbie with the curly 'fro! As a little girl growing up back then, a black doll was to be treasured cause they were few and far between. Thank goodness now there are more choices for our babies.

[Asante Maroon 0]

Mornin' all. I am just catching up on the posts from yesterday from Zee, Maroon , Uno, Zaina and of course Charles. I wish there was a way to capture all of what we know and feel then somehow replant that back in our countries of origin or So's countries. I just got an emergency email from a friend of mine wanting a laptop. Sigh..... I have had so many challenges with me SO and financial burdens from this assosiation that I can't even mention. I sold my house a few years ago and then was priced out of the market. So I thought I would hold on until the tide turned. Well in the meantime, money went out flying to help family, the SO thought he had struck it rich and so on. Not to mention the credit and delinquent bills I didn't know about on both of our credit. Within the last few weeks, my current landlord announced that she was losing her properties due to the "mortgage crisis" and I will have to find another place to live. Rents are high because we are near to "ground zero" in the mortgage crunch and people are scrambling to find homes. So, as I try to repair my credit, write letters to separate the bills, take care of my own family etc. I have this emergency WT I don't know a single person over there who does not have a roof of some sort over their heads and even with this the pleas continue.

Is it really lack of understanding how things are over here or is it just that they don't care? I sometimes feel that all the love and kindness that was shown to me, was just the buttering up for the future money requests.

I am venting now. I know. Just had to vent..

It's ok to vent Chispas...

[Zee Bee 61]

Hey folks

I am going to see my sisters and attend a wedding over the weekend so I am not going to be on much for the next few days

But I will be back in full swing on Tuesday :dance:

I may pop in if I have time

[forchika 4]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY

Today is a happy day , we are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversry Hard to believe it has been one year already

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY

Today is a happy day , we are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversry Hard to believe it has been one year already

happy anniversary!

g'morning everyone, it's friday!

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY

Today is a happy day , we are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversry Hard to believe it has been one year already

Happy Anniversary!!

Hey folks

I am going to see my sisters and attend a wedding over the weekend so I am not going to be on much for the next few days

But I will be back in full swing on Tuesday :dance:

I may pop in if I have time

Well, have fun girl! I'm not sure I could handle a wedding right now.

[chispas 0]

Hey folks

I am going to see my sisters and attend a wedding over the weekend so I am not going to be on much for the next few days

But I will be back in full swing on Tuesday :dance:

I may pop in if I have time

Boo hoo Zee we'll miss you

for the wedding

[stevi1123 0]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY

Today is a happy day , we are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversry Hard to believe it has been one year already

Happy Anniversary!

[chispas 0]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY FRIDAY

Today is a happy day , we are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversry Hard to believe it has been one year already

happy anniversary!

g'morning everyone, it's friday!

Ohh que lindo. A samba dance for you both

[Zee Bee 61]

I made it :dance:

Now, off to have some fun.....but I am going to catch up on VJ first

[forchika 4]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes!!!!!!!