to tell or not to tell ?

[Emancipation 2]

As the person who had the information about the fraud I would want to at least warn the women so I could say in the future that I did everything I could. Will the woman believe you? Maybe yes maybe no..

I had a CDN friend who was in love with a man from Egypt and he really had her eating out of his hands.. I had no proof that he was "using her" but I was worried for a while as she wasn't listening to reason, but she finally saw the light. It took her months to cut ties with him but thankfully it never progressed past a telephone conversation as he was already married and had children back in Egypt.

In this case, you have the ability to reach out to her and at least warn her. She may be too emotionally involved to really "Get it" but at least she can't say she didn't know about it and your conscience will be clear!

[Lona.C. 16]

what if you dont tell and later he gets caught with this scam and trys to wiggle his way out using your name as a suposently knowen suport in this scam , from hearing your story i wouldnt put anything pass him trying to get you involvd when S%$#t hits the roof and things come crumbling down on him , I would defenatly clear the light with family and tell that the lady isnt an elderly lady , and get them to suport your decition in telling the fiance the trueth about this guy ,

also another question he told them shes an elderly lady how will he explain her age if she goes there to marry him and they see shes realy a young woman ??

maybe tell her to visit him and let him interduce her to the family without intention of marriage , and she can talk to them and tell how she feels ?? maybe they will tell her what he said ??

[L_n_O 3]

TELL

[Ta Ta 1]

If I was the woman, I would want to know.

I would too, and would need solid proof, not "he said, she said" kind of stuff.

i'd say yes, tell her. but provide evidence too. i don't know what canadian immigration requires, if anything like usa immigration, but maybe after she's been left she'll appreciate evidence that shows visa fraud so she's not financially on the hook for this scammer.

I would tell her, assuming I had proof, and prepare to lose the friendship.

Ditto.

[Donna A 4]

he might try to swindle her out of her life savings too while he is at it...tell her.

[Ahmed N Cheryl 0]

what if you dont tell and later he gets caught with this scam and trys to wiggle his way out using your name as a suposently knowen suport in this scam , from hearing your story i wouldnt put anything pass him trying to get you involvd when S%$#t hits the roof and things come crumbling down on him , I would defenatly clear the light with family and tell that the lady isnt an elderly lady , and get them to suport your decition in telling the fiance the trueth about this guy ,

also another question he told them shes an elderly lady how will he explain her age if she goes there to marry him and they see shes realy a young woman ??

maybe tell her to visit him and let him interduce her to the family without intention of marriage , and she can talk to them and tell how she feels ?? maybe they will tell her what he said ??

She is 25 years older than him.

[KarenCee 3]

what if you dont tell and later he gets caught with this scam and trys to wiggle his way out using your name as a suposently knowen suport in this scam , from hearing your story i wouldnt put anything pass him trying to get you involvd when S%$#t hits the roof and things come crumbling down on him , I would defenatly clear the light with family and tell that the lady isnt an elderly lady , and get them to suport your decition in telling the fiance the trueth about this guy ,

also another question he told them shes an elderly lady how will he explain her age if she goes there to marry him and they see shes realy a young woman ??

maybe tell her to visit him and let him interduce her to the family without intention of marriage , and she can talk to them and tell how she feels ?? maybe they will tell her what he said ??

She is 25 years older than him.

A 25 year age difference doesn't make one "elderly"

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

A 25 year age difference doesn't make one "elderly"

To someone who is 25, a 50 year old can seem well......old.

[KarenCee 3]

All depends on the perspective or one's interpretation of old I am 14 years older than my husband, but I am certainly NOT old.

[Sprailenes 47]

If you told her would she even listen?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I'd tell her, but only stating the facts. Let her draw her own conclusion of the situation.

Saludos,

Caro

[AUBGER 0]

If you told her would she even listen?

She probably would. Many people were telling my hubby that I might be using him for a Green Card and you know what? I don't blame them because there are so many dishonest people out there trying to commit visa fraud. It took us 3 years of long distance relationship and going back and forth for visits to actually get married.

I know a very sad story about a person that used another one. It happened in California. A girl came to the US as an exchange student and fooled a really good hearted guy into marrying her. After they got married, she bruised herself and claimed that he's abusing her (although everyone who knows him claims he never even hurt a fly in his life). The state of CA ruled in her favor and the poor kid went to JAIL! She destroyed his life and just continued with the Green Card....I wish someone put some brains into him before he did that.

PS: I agree with the opinion that later on he might just use your name as an excuse.

[Mina76 0]

If I was the woman, I would want to know.

Same here!

Eventhough I may not listen to this person's warning, I would still be going with my own gut feelings if something was not right.

[MissStacey 1]

Tell her.

[Ahmed & Sue 0]

You can tell her, but I doubt it will make a difference.

My first husband was 36 years older than me. People said all kinds of nasty things to me when I married him. They accused me of being a gold digger. Needless to say, we had nothing. 20 years of marriage and 3 kids later, I figure I did something right. He passed away from emphysema 2 years ago last Sept. I would do it all over again if I had the chance.

Now with Ahmed there is a 15 year age difference, myself being older. People here have told me he is just useing me for a green card. I guess anything is possible. However, I am 42, and old enough to make decisions for myself. I am also old enough to deal with the consequences. Everything has good in it. I choose to enjoy the good in things, and disreguard the negative. For 2 years now I have been extremely happy with Ahmed, and I would not change that for anything. I have plenty friends that are divoriced from American men. So tell me, did they marry those women for the green card too? Sometimes things don't always work out.

I suggest when you talk with her, and she brings his name up, you ask questions which get her to think about him and what he is telling her. Ask her questions that get her wanting answers. Let her come up with the answers herself.

Best of luck with this. I get really disgusted with these people that use others for the sole purpose of a green card. It makes it harder for the rest of us that just want to marry and live with our loved one.

Take Care,

Sue