Are there any successful LONGTERM marriages?

[Queen Jenn 0]

Thank you for your reply. He has all the qualities in a man that I've been looking for. He is not a lazy man, he's educated, his family and community praise him. Everything he told me about himself, I saw first hand when I went there. He does not work. He said that finding work is difficult. But in order to keep himself busy and as to not let his parents think he's lazy, he involved himself with Rugby several years ago. He is now the team manager. I was so proud when I went there and was able to watch him on the pitch at the stadium in Lagos. Because he does not work, I have become somewhat financially involved. Not that he's ever asked me to send money. Tho I have for birthdays, christmas, or just to help him along. But its only been $100 here and there. However, when I went there, it was at my own expense. I suffer the burden of the phone calls. I'm paying all the fees for the petition, etc. And most likely I will be the one who buys the ticket for him to come. He's very grateful and has always promised to make this all up to me. I could honestly say that I completely trust him. But it just scares me becuase I bet every one of those women that got fooled, probably at one time said the same thing.

I know exactly how you feel. My man is not here yet, but there were MANY who were willing to tell me all the negative things about Nigeria - specifically Nigerian Men. And, especially because I met him on the internet, people were quick to tell me that it's probably a scam.

However, my parents and I met him in Africa last month. He was EVERYTHING I thought he was, even more. He's everything I want in a man and he's even better than I thought he would be.

It's true that it is difficult to find work in Nigeria. I think you and I are in a quite similar situation. He's never asked me to send money, although I have because I wanted to. I suffer the burden of the phone calls as well. It's cheaper for me to call him, so I pay for all of the phone calls. I'm paying all of the fees for the petition as well. I will be purchasing his plane ticket when he comes. And, of course, he won't be able to work until he has the green card, so I will be supporting him until that comes through.

But, like you, I can honestly say that I COMPLETELY trust him. And you know your man better than anyone else. You have to be able to put those negative things that you hear aside and put trust in your relationship. No relationship will work without trust and if you let the negative things that people say bring you down, your relationship will suffer. You will BOTH have to learn to let it go when people say rude, negative and insensitive things. Because people WILL. There will always be someone. If they aren't saying negative things about Nigeria and Nigerians, there will be people who may say things because you are of different races. Just let it go. They DON'T know you, they DON'T know him, and they know NOTHING about your relationship.

If there are truly no red flags and you love him and he loves you - DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM HAVING THIS WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP.

And if you're ever having a rough time, feel free to pm me!!

[Fandango 1,439]

Here's my $1.57 worth

Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself.

Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference.

I love this saying:

Work like you don't need the money,

dance like no one is looking,

and love like you've never been hurt.

Good luck to you!

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

You want to let him know that men contribute to the running of the house and do not expect women to do everything. It is difficult trying to get established and starting from the bottom is not necessarily a bad thing. I currently work in the financial services sector as a Senior Financial Analyst. I am one of the youngest occupying this position "not that I am necessarily young." I started working as a security officer years ago to support myself through college to get to where I am. It has not been easy but I am still here, you will also want to have a sincere talk with him about sending funds to his relatives, because that will be a cause of tension.

Hope this helps.

I will do that.. Thanks for the advice.

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

Thank you for your reply. He has all the qualities in a man that I've been looking for. He is not a lazy man, he's educated, his family and community praise him. Everything he told me about himself, I saw first hand when I went there. He does not work. He said that finding work is difficult. But in order to keep himself busy and as to not let his parents think he's lazy, he involved himself with Rugby several years ago. He is now the team manager. I was so proud when I went there and was able to watch him on the pitch at the stadium in Lagos. Because he does not work, I have become somewhat financially involved. Not that he's ever asked me to send money. Tho I have for birthdays, christmas, or just to help him along. But its only been $100 here and there. However, when I went there, it was at my own expense. I suffer the burden of the phone calls. I'm paying all the fees for the petition, etc. And most likely I will be the one who buys the ticket for him to come. He's very grateful and has always promised to make this all up to me. I could honestly say that I completely trust him. But it just scares me becuase I bet every one of those women that got fooled, probably at one time said the same thing.

I know exactly how you feel. My man is not here yet, but there were MANY who were willing to tell me all the negative things about Nigeria - specifically Nigerian Men. And, especially because I met him on the internet, people were quick to tell me that it's probably a scam.

However, my parents and I met him in Africa last month. He was EVERYTHING I thought he was, even more. He's everything I want in a man and he's even better than I thought he would be.

It's true that it is difficult to find work in Nigeria. I think you and I are in a quite similar situation. He's never asked me to send money, although I have because I wanted to. I suffer the burden of the phone calls as well. It's cheaper for me to call him, so I pay for all of the phone calls. I'm paying all of the fees for the petition as well. I will be purchasing his plane ticket when he comes. And, of course, he won't be able to work until he has the green card, so I will be supporting him until that comes through.

But, like you, I can honestly say that I COMPLETELY trust him. And you know your man better than anyone else. You have to be able to put those negative things that you hear aside and put trust in your relationship. No relationship will work without trust and if you let the negative things that people say bring you down, your relationship will suffer. You will BOTH have to learn to let it go when people say rude, negative and insensitive things. Because people WILL. There will always be someone. If they aren't saying negative things about Nigeria and Nigerians, there will be people who may say things because you are of different races. Just let it go. They DON'T know you, they DON'T know him, and they know NOTHING about your relationship.

If there are truly no red flags and you love him and he loves you - DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM HAVING THIS WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP.

And if you're ever having a rough time, feel free to pm me!!

Wow. I feel like that's me talking. We ARE going thru the exact same thing. Its so good to hear from somone that can relate. Thank you so much for your reply. I'll be in touch.

Thank you for your reply. He has all the qualities in a man that I've been looking for. He is not a lazy man, he's educated, his family and community praise him. Everything he told me about himself, I saw first hand when I went there. He does not work. He said that finding work is difficult. But in order to keep himself busy and as to not let his parents think he's lazy, he involved himself with Rugby several years ago. He is now the team manager. I was so proud when I went there and was able to watch him on the pitch at the stadium in Lagos. Because he does not work, I have become somewhat financially involved. Not that he's ever asked me to send money. Tho I have for birthdays, christmas, or just to help him along. But its only been $100 here and there. However, when I went there, it was at my own expense. I suffer the burden of the phone calls. I'm paying all the fees for the petition, etc. And most likely I will be the one who buys the ticket for him to come. He's very grateful and has always promised to make this all up to me. I could honestly say that I completely trust him. But it just scares me becuase I bet every one of those women that got fooled, probably at one time said the same thing.

I know exactly how you feel. My man is not here yet, but there were MANY who were willing to tell me all the negative things about Nigeria - specifically Nigerian Men. And, especially because I met him on the internet, people were quick to tell me that it's probably a scam.

However, my parents and I met him in Africa last month. He was EVERYTHING I thought he was, even more. He's everything I want in a man and he's even better than I thought he would be.

It's true that it is difficult to find work in Nigeria. I think you and I are in a quite similar situation. He's never asked me to send money, although I have because I wanted to. I suffer the burden of the phone calls as well. It's cheaper for me to call him, so I pay for all of the phone calls. I'm paying all of the fees for the petition as well. I will be purchasing his plane ticket when he comes. And, of course, he won't be able to work until he has the green card, so I will be supporting him until that comes through.

But, like you, I can honestly say that I COMPLETELY trust him. And you know your man better than anyone else. You have to be able to put those negative things that you hear aside and put trust in your relationship. No relationship will work without trust and if you let the negative things that people say bring you down, your relationship will suffer. You will BOTH have to learn to let it go when people say rude, negative and insensitive things. Because people WILL. There will always be someone. If they aren't saying negative things about Nigeria and Nigerians, there will be people who may say things because you are of different races. Just let it go. They DON'T know you, they DON'T know him, and they know NOTHING about your relationship.

If there are truly no red flags and you love him and he loves you - DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM HAVING THIS WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP.

And if you're ever having a rough time, feel free to pm me!!

Wow. I feel like that's me talking. We ARE going thru the exact same thing. Its so good to hear from somone that can relate. Thank you so much for your reply. I'll be in touch.

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

Here's my $1.57 worth

Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself.

Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference.

I love this saying:

Work like you don't need the money,

dance like no one is looking,

and love like you've never been hurt.

Good luck to you!

You're absolutely right. Scammers do exist in every country. And broken marriages exist in every country with every race. My point is just that I'm sick of hearing the negative, failed, scammed, duped, etc...stories about wat Nigerians have done to women/men abroad. I needed some encouragement. I talk to my man all the time about what ppl say and its so discouraging to him. Especially when he hears that it come from the mouths of fellow Nigerians living here in the USA. Here's something funny: When I went to 9gia, we primarily stayed in his home with his family. But occassionally, for sake of privacy, we went out to hotels and stayed gone for a few days at a time. One of the places we went, was to the Excellence hotel. Guess what room number they put us in................Room 419. Isn't that hysterical. It didnt' dawn on us til we were actually opening the door, then we fell out laughing. We got some great pics of us standing in front of the door with the room number visible. All we can do is laugh.

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

Here's my $1.57 worth

Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself.

Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference.

I love this saying:

Work like you don't need the money,

dance like no one is looking,

and love like you've never been hurt.

Good luck to you!

You're absolutely right. Scammers do exist in every country. And broken marriages exist in every country with every race. My point is just that I'm sick of hearing the negative, failed, scammed, duped, etc...stories about wat Nigerians have done to women/men abroad. I needed some encouragement. I talk to my man all the time about what ppl say and its so discouraging to him. Especially when he hears that it come from the mouths of fellow Nigerians living here in the USA. Here's something funny: When I went to 9gia, we primarily stayed in his home with his family. But occassionally, for sake of privacy, we went out to hotels and stayed gone for a few days at a time. One of the places we went, was to the Excellence hotel. Guess what room number they put us in................Room 419. Isn't that hysterical. It didnt' dawn on us til we were actually opening the door, then we fell out laughing. We got some great pics of us standing in front of the door with the room number visible. All we can do is laugh.

[Fandango 1,439]

Here's my $1.57 worth

Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself.

Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference.

I love this saying:

Work like you don't need the money,

dance like no one is looking,

and love like you've never been hurt.

Good luck to you!

You're absolutely right. Scammers do exist in every country. And broken marriages exist in every country with every race. My point is just that I'm sick of hearing the negative, failed, scammed, duped, etc...stories about wat Nigerians have done to women/men abroad. I needed some encouragement. I talk to my man all the time about what ppl say and its so discouraging to him. Especially when he hears that it come from the mouths of fellow Nigerians living here in the USA. Here's something funny: When I went to 9gia, we primarily stayed in his home with his family. But occassionally, for sake of privacy, we went out to hotels and stayed gone for a few days at a time. One of the places we went, was to the Excellence hotel. Guess what room number they put us in................Room 419. Isn't that hysterical. It didnt' dawn on us til we were actually opening the door, then we fell out laughing. We got some great pics of us standing in front of the door with the room number visible. All we can do is laugh.

Some of the paths that some of us walk here on VJ are harder than others. They all go against 'norms' of marrying within one's own country, but sadly some are more 'acceptable' than others. There will always be haters, and always be talk...the thing is to have the strength to disregard the hate that some spew. It's not easy, I'm sure....but imo, that is the key to happiness.

And I hate to say it, but I don't get the 419 thing. hahahahah

[chispas 0]

Here's my $1.57 worth

Whether or not there are other successful Nigerian/American marriages is really irrelevant to your particular situation. The most important thing to be aware of is that not all [insert country here]'s people are one homogenized being who all act alike, think alike, etc. Every person is different. I see this all the time on VJ, and while people of any particular country can share similarities, this does not mean they are all the same. So as long as you KNOW your man, you love him, and you are confident in your choice, then there's nothing to worry about. People will talk, but it's up to you to hold steadfast to the person that you know. They don't know him, so don't allow their aspersions to cast a doubt on you if you don't initially have one yourself.

Now, imo, you need to identify whether your doubts are results of trusted loved ones speaking out of ignorance, or if they come from within you. Yes, there are some scammers out there...both Nigerian and American. But if you know your man, neither one of these facts should make a difference.

I love this saying:

Work like you don't need the money,

dance like no one is looking,

and love like you've never been hurt.

Good luck to you!

You're absolutely right. Scammers do exist in every country. And broken marriages exist in every country with every race. My point is just that I'm sick of hearing the negative, failed, scammed, duped, etc...stories about wat Nigerians have done to women/men abroad. I needed some encouragement. I talk to my man all the time about what ppl say and its so discouraging to him. Especially when he hears that it come from the mouths of fellow Nigerians living here in the USA. Here's something funny: When I went to 9gia, we primarily stayed in his home with his family. But occassionally, for sake of privacy, we went out to hotels and stayed gone for a few days at a time. One of the places we went, was to the Excellence hotel. Guess what room number they put us in................Room 419. Isn't that hysterical. It didnt' dawn on us til we were actually opening the door, then we fell out laughing. We got some great pics of us standing in front of the door with the room number visible. All we can do is laugh.

Some of the paths that some of us walk here on VJ are harder than others. They all go against 'norms' of marrying within one's own country, but sadly some are more 'acceptable' than others. There will always be haters, and always be talk...the thing is to have the strength to disregard the hate that some spew. It's not easy, I'm sure....but imo, that is the key to happiness.

And I hate to say it, but I don't get the 419 thing. hahahahah

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_fee_fraud (A Wiki Definition of 419)

[myangel2 0]

Hello, I looked at the photo's of you and your fiance you make a lovely couple and he looks very happy with you ... I am an american married to a Nigerian.. We have been married almost two years, he isn't here yet were still waiting for this process to be over so he can join me here in Texas. You know your fiance better than anyone. You can meet people here in the US with bad intentions, that's world-wide. Let God lead you. When I was in Nigeria preparing for my wedding with my husband I was so scared.... I said prayers in my heart to God, my husband didn't know that I was praying and in the morning for 2 days in a row he would wake up and have an answer to what I had prayed in secret that let me know it was going to be OK.... Follow your heart he's your finance and your's only. God bless you and your future husband...

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I think it is wonderful that you were able to experience this with you parents. I feel blessed that my son was able to travel with me. He loved the travel and the people we met.

Thank you for your reply. He has all the qualities in a man that I've been looking for. He is not a lazy man, he's educated, his family and community praise him. Everything he told me about himself, I saw first hand when I went there. He does not work. He said that finding work is difficult. But in order to keep himself busy and as to not let his parents think he's lazy, he involved himself with Rugby several years ago. He is now the team manager. I was so proud when I went there and was able to watch him on the pitch at the stadium in Lagos. Because he does not work, I have become somewhat financially involved. Not that he's ever asked me to send money. Tho I have for birthdays, christmas, or just to help him along. But its only been $100 here and there. However, when I went there, it was at my own expense. I suffer the burden of the phone calls. I'm paying all the fees for the petition, etc. And most likely I will be the one who buys the ticket for him to come. He's very grateful and has always promised to make this all up to me. I could honestly say that I completely trust him. But it just scares me becuase I bet every one of those women that got fooled, probably at one time said the same thing.

I know exactly how you feel. My man is not here yet, but there were MANY who were willing to tell me all the negative things about Nigeria - specifically Nigerian Men. And, especially because I met him on the internet, people were quick to tell me that it's probably a scam.

However, my parents and I met him in Africa last month. He was EVERYTHING I thought he was, even more. He's everything I want in a man and he's even better than I thought he would be.

It's true that it is difficult to find work in Nigeria. I think you and I are in a quite similar situation. He's never asked me to send money, although I have because I wanted to. I suffer the burden of the phone calls as well. It's cheaper for me to call him, so I pay for all of the phone calls. I'm paying all of the fees for the petition as well. I will be purchasing his plane ticket when he comes. And, of course, he won't be able to work until he has the green card, so I will be supporting him until that comes through.

But, like you, I can honestly say that I COMPLETELY trust him. And you know your man better than anyone else. You have to be able to put those negative things that you hear aside and put trust in your relationship. No relationship will work without trust and if you let the negative things that people say bring you down, your relationship will suffer. You will BOTH have to learn to let it go when people say rude, negative and insensitive things. Because people WILL. There will always be someone. If they aren't saying negative things about Nigeria and Nigerians, there will be people who may say things because you are of different races. Just let it go. They DON'T know you, they DON'T know him, and they know NOTHING about your relationship.

If there are truly no red flags and you love him and he loves you - DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM HAVING THIS WONDERFUL RELATIONSHIP.

And if you're ever having a rough time, feel free to pm me!!

[KenDC 0]

All of us go thru the doubts and even when he gets here, you will still have doubts. The best thing is that you meet him and his family. You saw how he interacted with his family. If he comes from a typical family, he has many brothers and sisters with a large extended family. It will be hard for all of them to fake it.

This is not a sprint; you can take as much time as you need. Me and my wife took two before I filed papers. We both laugh at the doubts we had. She is here now and marriage is work but it worth it.

Just know that he has a tough road to travel. The embassy is harder on men than women especially with online romance. Take pictures especially with him and his family. In our interview, the officer loved our pictures because they were natural and playful. I made multiple trips and so should you if you can afford it. The longer you are a couple, the easier the embassy will not think it is a green card issue.

Yes, some Nigerians have made it very difficult for others. But if you believe him, then until he gives you a reason to think those doubts are valid, enjoy the ride. Good luck.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Yes people have been meeting people in other countries online and getting married. I was one of the very early ones that did that in 1985. He was Argentine and no it didn't work out, but that has no bearing on any other US2Argentine marriage. I am now waiting through a much slower process to marry a Nigerian. He happens to be the cousin of my best friend. I spent some time there in Sept and loved it. We got along well and his family was great and we loved and laughed and loved some more. And an odd advantage I will have is not being able to argue with the inlaws . They are older and don't speak English and I don't speak Igbo. It actually helped my last marriage when we couldn't talk directly because it made us think more before things were said through a translator. In my time online I have met my share of men that want nothing more than to get you hooked into their love talk so they can drain your bank account. They give a bad name to whatever place they call home. Some where Nigerian and some weren't. And in a way I don't feel that people who have fallen in love with a picture and sent their entire savings to a foreigner can place all the blame on that person and their country. There is such a thing as self control and personal responsibility. Maybe I am just too old fashioned

[bjejelola.isscamr 0]

All of us go thru the doubts and even when he gets here, you will still have doubts. The best thing is that you meet him and his family. You saw how he interacted with his family. If he comes from a typical family, he has many brothers and sisters with a large extended family. It will be hard for all of them to fake it.

This is not a sprint; you can take as much time as you need. Me and my wife took two before I filed papers. We both laugh at the doubts we had. She is here now and marriage is work but it worth it.

Just know that he has a tough road to travel. The embassy is harder on men than women especially with online romance. Take pictures especially with him and his family. In our interview, the officer loved our pictures because they were natural and playful. I made multiple trips and so should you if you can afford it. The longer you are a couple, the easier the embassy will not think it is a green card issue.

Yes, some Nigerians have made it very difficult for others. But if you believe him, then until he gives you a reason to think those doubts are valid, enjoy the ride. Good luck.

Thanks for your reply. I have met his entire family. 5 brother and 4 sisters. We stayed in the same home with his parents and many of the siblings, nephews/neices, etc. They all were so incredibly kind to me. I've been told by some that the parents would never have allowed me to stay in their home and be showcased to the whole community if this was all a 'scam'. On the other hand, I've also been told, that the family will do anything to help their son gain a VISA to get out of Nigeria. Can you see where one's head may turn 'kolo' in all this?

[athena_ny 1]

My husband is not a MENA man, but is from Peru, and people were still willing to tell me all kinds of negative things. I didn't tell anyone I'd married him until after the fact (except for those who were present) because I didn't want to listen to it. He was already in the US, so people would ask me (my own father did this) if he had his green card before they asked anything else.

His own friends (I do not know which ones, if he told me I'd never speak to them again so we decided I didn't need to know as I'm antisocial enough as it is) asked if he married me for papers, and after we got married some of the South Americans we knew just asked if he had his papers yet. It makes me sick, that after all the immigration garbage, we're still being question by people who have no right to question.

But I think if you love each other and work hard at it, it is possible to have a long term marriage regardless of what countries you are both from. I remember reading in the book Sayonara by James Mitchener about the men who married Japanese woman while in Japan during the war, and while this was a novel he heavily researches and even if this part wasn't true, it's the principal, and while neither one spoke the same language, they made up their own half English/half Japanese way to communicate. People will make it over hurdles that seem impossible to jump from the outside, but it is what it is in our hearts that matters.

If you believe in your fiance/e and you believe in you, that is what matters. Do people get tricked sometimes? Yes. But you can't live your life in fear that it will happen to you, just be happy that you found someone

[Enlighten one :) 5]

I had an epiphany last night. I was way too tired to come back to post, but here I am first thing this morning. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I love to fill people with motivation, love, and joy, but I also want to protect my friends and family.

I have already heard 4 1/2 stories from 2005 of regret in just the African Sub Sarah region that SO's are Nigerian. I have only com across 3 stories of success thus far. I want to assume we have not heard the rest because they are busy being in love and not embarrassed and depressed to come here to share their stories.

Reality Check 1. All of us that claim we know our SO and family have to realize that so did these other 4 1/2 women who feel they were scammed, manipulated, and lied too.

Reality Check 2. People do desperate things in desperate situations.

Reality Check 3. I would say that at least (if not more considering we do not know the real % of scammed situations) 3 of the Sub Sahara region relationships are a farce.

Please, please, please, please, if you have any doubt slow down your process and reevaluate your situation. My friend who lives in America owns several Internet cafés in Nigeria. We used to laugh about how many men would profess their love to me after the second email. They are not cheap to be in for people who are not working. If your SO has a big family, doesn't work, spends time in the Internet café and dresses nice there is a problem with that situation. If you have questioned anything that has been said or done, you are in doubt.

If your last relationship in America or on line was with someone who ended up disappointing you and you did not grow and change drastically from the experience emotionally or spiritually chances are you are in the same situation. We can not blame the individual that is praying on you if you keep going out there and attracting them. I have been there, happily learned the errors of my ways. I let god into my life. This doesn't mean that god doesn't have more for me to learn, but I am ready.

If anyone moves forward despite your intuition speaking to your heart and soul, then at least if something goes wrong in the end one will be prepared.

I want everyone to walk this journey in faith. If you do not feel the faith, then you are not ready for this type of journey. Every person I met in Nigeria had jobs. One managed the bus's for the church my husband worked at. His wife worked for a photocopy business. My friends brother managed his INTERNET café. His mother did laundry despite the fact that she had an American son to take care of her. There was the videographer at our wedding and the photographer. This was a little girl outside the marriage ceremony selling candy. There was security at our hotel, cleaners, pool boy, waiters and buss boys. I seen boys walking the streets with drinks, phone cards, and other goods for sale. the seamstresses that made our wedding attire and a different one who made my son's beach outfits They are all doing what they need to do to make money. My friends 12 year old daughter did hair in her community to make money. God provides a way, if you want it.

I hate to hit submit, but I was not even thinking about this topic when I had the epiphany. I just came to me so i feel it is meant to be said. I post this out of compassion and concern for women who are compassionate, loving, helping and caring individuals who want to save the world. LOL That is me. Sometimes it is hard to think that someone would be so cruel after we have paid for them to come to America, sent them and their family money, but we have women here who it has happened to so be carefull.