Which process will be best for us (K-1 or K-3)?

[Robor007 0]

I'm new to this site and I'm looking for the answer to a difficult question. Which process would be best for my fiancee and I? We are leaning to K-1 right now. Here's my story...

I am a US citizen living in Florida. While on a vacation cruise in January of this year I met a Filipina working on the ship. During my vacation she and I had a few conversations together totaling a couple of hours and I gave her my contact info. While in port on the next cruise she sent me an Email and we kept in touch that way until her contract ended in March. After that we used SMS, Email, Yahoo IM, and phone to communicate. We've logged literally hundreds of hours (plenty documented) together between then and now. At the end of May I visited her in Manila and we spent a week together. We had the best time and really got along great. We had talked so much before my visit it was like we had been a couple for years. During my visit I proposed to her (6/1) and we are now engaged. We both went back to work on 6/4 and and just want to be together. The one kink in our situation is my fiancee is currently married to a US citizen. It's a long story but I think it's important - I'll try and be brief.

My fiancee met a man while working on the ship. They had a on-gain, off-again relationship for a year or so. During one of the good times she was in port in San Fran and he flew there and they were married by the clerk of the court. They spent only that afternoon together (12:30 - 4:00) and she returned to work on the ship. Within 3 weeks of being married he became insanely jeaous and accused her of cheating on him (she was not). He sent Emails to her friends and family saying she was unfaithful and lying and using him. She cut off communication. They have not seen each other since the marriage and they don't communicate. Fast forward to she and I meeting and developing a relationship. We want to be together but can't because she's already married. She filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. He is going to cooperate so it should be a simple process.

My fiancee will be in port in Ft. Lauderdale in October. I'm going to pick her up and because she's got a C-1 visa (crewmans visa) she can stay here up to 29 days. During that time she will appear in court to finalize the divorce. After her visit I am planning to fly with her back to Manila to spend a week or two. So we have a decision to make - do we immediately file a K-1 petition in October after the divorce is final or should we marry in the Philippines and go a K-3 route? Given that she will be recently divorced from a US citizen, which would be the best route for us to be together as quickly as possible. Thank you very much for reading.

[Jersey Girl 2]

It's a long story but I think it's important

You're right. It's important. There's more to the story than you know. I'd contact the soon-to-be-ex-husband and get the other side. Ask her point blank if she has ever had someone petition for a visa for her.

Past behavior can be a portent of things to come. If she gets married hurriedly, or without knowing the finace very long, there may be something else going on. Don't rush into marriage. You can protect yourself with a K1. If unpleasant things arise, you have the option to withdraw it. Sorry, but your story has warning signs all over it. The object is not to get the visa as soon as possible, but to be married as long as possible.

[Robor007 0]

It's a long story but I think it's important

You're right. It's important. There's more to the story than you know. I'd contact the soon-to-be-ex-husband and get the other side. Ask her point blank if she has ever had someone petition for a visa for her.

Past behavior can be a portent of things to come. If she gets married hurriedly, or without knowing the finace very long, there may be something else going on. Don't rush into marriage. You can protect yourself with a K1. If unpleasant things arise, you have the option to withdraw it. Sorry, but your story has warning signs all over it. The object is not to get the visa as soon as possible, but to be married as long as possible.

I understand what you're saying but I have already talked to her soon-to-be ex-husband. The marriage was his idea, not hers. In our Email exchanges with him all he did is tell me about her cheating on him and lying to him and forward me the Emails he sent to her accusing her of this. I've talked to her about this and she told me that she went into the marriage with the best intentions but when every conversation they had ended in her crying she stopped answering her phone and responding to his Emails. He tried to file for divorce shortly after the fallout but she didn't respond to that either. He never filed any paperwork to bring her here. If she was using him for entrance to the US she didn't go about it very well.

I'm not rushing into marriage, I just want to be with the woman I love. I'd be happy to have her live here with me in Florida and put marriage off. Unfortunately, that's not possible because of our immigration policy. I was married from 1993-2000 myself and I knew my ex for years before getting married. Despite that, we got divorced. It's unfortunate but it happens. We were both to blame and looking back I'm sure things could've been done to have saved it. I like to think I learned from those mistakes and will not repeat them.

[Jersey Girl 2]

How could she have entered into a marriage that was only "his idea"?

What made the husband so sure she was cheating?

If she didn't want to talk to him because he upset her so much, why wouldn't she agree to a divorce?

There are too many red flags, one of which is that you've spent very little time in each others' company. You say she had an on-again-off-again relationship with her husband for a year, married on the spur of the moment, spent an afternoon with him, and then returned to a cruise ship? If this were fiction, it would be unbelievable. Doesn't it strike you as flip? Or bizarre? What makes you think history isn't repeating itself?

[seldi 1]

Yikes. I think you should give it more time..

[lovable_louie 0]

How could she have entered into a marriage that was only "his idea"?

What made the husband so sure she was cheating?

If she didn't want to talk to him because he upset her so much, why wouldn't she agree to a divorce?

There are too many red flags, one of which is that you've spent very little time in each others' company. You say she had an on-again-off-again relationship with her husband for a year, married on the spur of the moment, spent an afternoon with him, and then returned to a cruise ship? If this were fiction, it would be unbelievable. Doesn't it strike you as flip? Or bizarre? What makes you think history isn't repeating itself?

I agree with Jersey Girl.

[Robor007 0]

I was going to respond and answer these questions but in doing so I feel I am justifying my relationship with my fiancee to people who know nothing more than my original message here. I was looking for help, not judgement. While I appreciate the warnings, I don't need them. My fiancee and I have talked about the past, present, and future. We are both very secure in all. Thank you for your concern. Please let this thread drop.

[workin4somethin 0]

I'm new to this site and I'm looking for the answer to a difficult question. Which process would be best for my fiancee and I? We are leaning to K-1 right now. Here's my story...

There probably wouldn't be much difference to you regarding which way you go, except that marriage might be sort of tough while you're going through the process. Perhaps the K-1...

Best wishes!

[AFQuaid 18]

Theres been alot of "red flag" threads recently which have ruffled a few feathers here at VJ, possibly yours just looks the same to some. I am a firm believer in the past is in the past and if you're SURE about this intention to marry. Congratulations and I wish you all the best. It isn't easy for anybody to consider marriage to somebody who has had quite a troubled history, I totally respect that you can put this thing with her rushed past marriage behind you and move on fresh and consider starting a new life together.

There are guides at the top of the page which gives you a description and details of both K-1 and K-3 processes. I personally say in your situation to go for the K-1, reason being you won't be rushing into marriage for at least 6 months when the visa is approved which gives you more time to get to know each other and make the right decision. A K-3 you apply for after marriage which then if you two decide it doesn't work you'd end up with another divorse on your hands. It's upto you, but remember either way isn't going to be easy and the waiting process will test your relationship to the max.

[Robor007 0]

JG & LL - No, the situation isn't perfect - few LDR's are. And no, my fiancee and I may not have spent a lot of time 'in each others' company' to this point, but like most couples in a LDR, it's hard with work and immigration limits. I see many timelines with couples only being together once or twice. That said, my fiancee and I have already spent a week together, we're planning a week long visit on her ship soon, another month long together here in October, and another week long visit in November in the Philippines. All of that would be pre-marriage. After that I'd guess I've got more more 'in each others' company' time than most K-1/K-3 couples in LDR's.

FWIW, I posted brief summary of what my fiancee and I have talked about together in the time we've communicated. My post contains the issue I'm concerned about in our visa process. I can't put everything our talks contained into a few paragraphs. Maybe I didn't describe our situation the best way but I tried to summarize it so as not to bore people but still seek the best course of action given our issue. I'm sure your response had good intentions but at the same time I think you were way too quick to judge, especially in public.

workin4somethin & AFQuaid - Thank you for the advice. I have done a lot of research on the K-1 and K-3 process and I know the basics on how they differ. I think the K-1 option is best given our situaion, that is why I made my thread here rather than the K-3 forum. My only concern is her previous marriage and divorce causing a problem with the process (some have told me a K-3 would be questioned less).

[bradentejas 0]

Your personal situation is not of importance to me, and I am not going to judge you or give you life advice. However, if you DO decide to go through with this, I would say marriage and a K3. The reason is because, in my opinion, there will be less to "prove and debate" when it comes to the application approval. I have read that visa applications immediately after divorces from other people are frowned on and highly scrutinized. With the K3 you are either married or not, and can prove it, which in turn proves knowledge of eachother and time together - evidence of relationship. A K1 filed immediately after a non-citizen divorced a citizen is going to raise many questions anyway....I think a solid marriage going into the interview would help.

She didnt apply for a visa with him did she? That could be a big factor also...

Do what you want...but it is my $.02

Edited June 29, 2006 by bradentejas

[one...two...tree 2,762]

JG & LL - No, the situation isn't perfect - few LDR's are. And no, my fiancee and I may not have spent a lot of time 'in each others' company' to this point, but like most couples in a LDR, it's hard with work and immigration limits. I see many timelines with couples only being together once or twice. That said, my fiancee and I have already spent a week together, we're planning a week long visit on her ship soon, another month long together here in October, and another week long visit in November in the Philippines. All of that would be pre-marriage. After that I'd guess I've got more more 'in each others' company' time than most K-1/K-3 couples in LDR's.

FWIW, I posted brief summary of what my fiancee and I have talked about together in the time we've communicated. My post contains the issue I'm concerned about in our visa process. I can't put everything our talks contained into a few paragraphs. Maybe I didn't describe our situation the best way but I tried to summarize it so as not to bore people but still seek the best course of action given our issue. I'm sure your response had good intentions but at the same time I think you were way too quick to judge, especially in public.

workin4somethin & AFQuaid - Thank you for the advice. I have done a lot of research on the K-1 and K-3 process and I know the basics on how they differ. I think the K-1 option is best given our situaion, that is why I made my thread here rather than the K-3 forum. My only concern is her previous marriage and divorce causing a problem with the process (some have told me a K-3 would be questioned less).

Practically speaking then, since you are asking about Visa issues, I'd recommend you read up as much as you can. One thing in particular - Affidavit of Support. As I understand it - if you do bring her here to the U.S. with either K-1 or K-3 Visa and then later you two happen to divorce (we've had a few threads lately from that very situation), you will be legally obligated to support her financially after the divorce. Just something that you should be aware of. It would be for a very long time.

Best Wishes!

Edited June 29, 2006 by StevenJinky

[Robor007 0]

Practically speaking then, since you are asking about Visa issues, I'd recommend you read up as much as you can. One thing in particular - Affidavit of Support. As I understand it - if you do bring her here to the U.S. with either K-1 or K-3 Visa and then later you two happen to divorce (we've had a few threads lately from that very situation), you will be legally obligated to support her financially after the divorce. Just something that you should be aware of. It would be for a very long time.

Best Wishes!

I've done a lot of reading in general about the K-1 and K-3 processes but not detailed into the AOS part. Without looking further I recall when I agree to it I promise the US government that I am responsible for my spouse and she can not depend on welfare support. Keep in mind that we've both discussed that each of us will already be divorced once and are determined to not go down that path again. Thank you for the advice!

Your personal situation is not of importance to me, and I am not going to judge you or give you life advice. However, if you DO decide to go through with this, I would say marriage and a K3. The reason is because, in my opinion, there will be less to "prove and debate" when it comes to the application approval. I have read that visa applications immediately after divorces from other people are frowned on and highly scrutinized. With the K3 you are either married or not, and can prove it, which in turn proves knowledge of eachother and time together - evidence of relationship. A K1 filed immediately after a non-citizen divorced a citizen is going to raise many questions anyway....I think a solid marriage going into the interview would help.

She didnt apply for a visa with him did she? That could be a big factor also...

Do what you want...but it is my $.02

I am here because I'm seeking advice and I please know I definitely appreciate yours. For either process we have *PLENTY* of evidence of relationship since meeting in January. I could print a stack of Email, IM, and SMS communication as well as photos with her and her family and phone records. With her working on the ship both of us have spent a lot of $$$ to keep in touch by phone. My only concern is a delay in the process because she's going to be divorcing in October and shortly after seeking a K-visa. That's why I'm here. To learn. Thank you for your $.02. It is much appreciated!

EDIT: No, their relationship fell apart shortly after they were married and he did not petition her.

Edited June 29, 2006 by Robor007

[Robor007 0]

Update:

I just received a reply from the person helping me with this process saying that because my fiancee never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines there is no marriage to consider for divorce/annulment. He recommends the K-1 route because there is no question about previous marriages whereas the K-3 does ask. He is the expert and I trust his advice so it sounds like I have my answer.

Thank you to everyone for the input and suggestions. As we go through this process and I learn more about it I hope I am able to give back to this forum as thanks for the help we have received.

Thanks all... Rob

[desert_fox 32]

Update:

I just received a reply from the person helping me with this process saying that because my fiancee never adjusted her marital status in the Philippines there is no marriage to consider for divorce/annulment. He recommends the K-1 route because there is no question about previous marriages whereas the K-3 does ask. He is the expert and I trust his advice so it sounds like I have my answer.

Thank you to everyone for the input and suggestions. As we go through this process and I learn more about it I hope I am able to give back to this forum as thanks for the help we have received.

Thanks all... Rob

???

Sounds to me like she is married. Manila doesnt determine what marriages are valid, especially if it took place in the US.

You better run this across an attorney, as I am having difficulty in understanding what you are saying.